["Silent Night"]
Science night, probing night
Make a guess; might be right
Test empirically, spare not your child
With statistical power compiled
(You will) Keep it up and you'll see:
You'll generate a theory
["Winter Wonderland"]
Pull your weight; ain't it freein'
In the late Devonian
A beautiful sight, tiktaalik in flight
Crawlin' as a fish up onto land
Gone away is the ray-fin
Here to stay is the forelimb
A lunker that comes with primitive lungs
Crawlin' as a fish up onto land
Human or a lizard or a pigeon
If you're tetrapodal, be aware
We descend from a sarcopterygean
Who ventured out to get a bit of air
If you wish for a brush-up
Watch a fish do a push-up
Remember the drain from where we all came
Crawlin' as a fish up onto land
["The First Noel"]
The first Nobel Madame Curie did sway
Was for work on the brand new uranium ray
She metered that ray as it ionized
And by inference polonium hypothesized
Nobel, Nobel
Nobel, Nobel;
Shared it with Pierre and with Becquerel
["Jingle Bells"]
Passing through a pore
Is a one-strand RNA
Find a ribosome
A protein to convey
Protein find a string
Of genome to transcribe
Returning us to RNA
And keeping us alive
Oh, single cells, single cells
Sing all through the day
Work and hum, their enzymes come
From a one-strand RNA
Hey, single cells, organelles
Multicellulae
Have their fun, but we all come
From a one-strand RNA
["Angels from the Realms of Glory"]
Angles we have learned for bonding
120° trigonal in the plane
Tetrahedral, four responding
To pure repulsion in VSEPR's name
O-oooo-o-oooo-o-oooo-orbitals
Will combine when able
O-oooo-o-oooo-o-oooo-orbitals
This compound is stable
["O Holy Night"]
Oh hole of light: a star no longer shining
Untwinkling night since its death and rebirth
Light-years away a bonded pair combining
Unleash a wave in the space here on Earth
As we approach, our local time distorting
For yonder breaks a future's causal fork
Fall t'ward the screen, that near event horizon
No light may climb, no light, no signal borne (Causally severed)
No light may shine, no light
[Interlude]
Nobel, Nobel, so you want to Nobel
["Sleigh Ride"]
So you've got some pet theory that fits so clearly to you
Just know the only measure is the data for whether it's true
Envisioning that dais, it sure can bias your view
That's why the only measure is the data for whether it's true
Pretty up, pretty up, pretty up your find, you'll pay in due time
When nothing replicates using your design
Pretty up, pretty up, pretty up, it's fine; won't nobody mind
Oh no, it's all shot, you forgot to effectively data blind
So if your power's lacking, don't go p-hacking it through
Because the only measure is the data for whether it's true
Your whole darn field may know it and peers may glow in review
Just know the only measure is the data for whether it's true
Now the truth is not the kind of thing a cheque can buy
But you might just stumble on it if you question why
If you're rigorous and inventive and you're putting in the work
You may be an immigrant kid or a little-known patent clerk
(A patent clerk!)
The bleeding edge might be at old MIT or Purdue
But friend, the only measure is the data for whether it's true
It is the point of science that you can try it, yes you!
Because the only measure is the data for whether it's true
[Interlude]
Study oobleck and goo
Prove a theorem or two
See how molecules bind
You can study your mind
Watch the waves as they dance
Breed for colour in plants
Jump into a black hole if you get a chance
[Finale: "O Holy Night"]
Oh fall through the screen, your being spaghettifying
No light survives that final quantum storm
Yet light will shine
In light you'll be reborn
