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Lady Hyacinth Abroad Lyrics by A Gentleman’s Guide to Love and Murder Company

A Gentleman’s Guide to Love and Murder (Original Broadway Cast)

2014

HYACINTH:
(spoken) If I’m ever to show my face in society again, I’ve got to find a new cause of my own, and quickly! Come, come, any ideas?
ENTOURAGE:
Daisy Greville has the old
Lady Sitwell has the blind
HYACINTH:
And the fund for sailors' widows?
ENTOURAGE:
That’s the two of them combined
HYACINTH:
Night school for the nervous?
ENTOURAGE:
Lady Beach and Margaret Guest
HYACINTH:
Crutches for the crippled?
ENTOURAGE;
That was Elsie Pond's bequest
HYACINTH:
Wayward women?
ENTOURAGE:
Daisy Greville
HYACINTH:
Who’s behind disfigured men?
ENTOURAGE:
Daisy Greville
HYACINTH:
And the deaf?
Don’t tell me--it’s Greville yet again
Everyone’s got something. Can’t you see why I’m bereft?
I want to do some good, but what the devil’s left?
ENTOURAGE:
What the devil’s left?
MONTY:
(spoken) If I may, your Ladyship, one hears about such terrible poverty in Egypt these days…
HYACINTH:
(spoken) Egypt. Land of the Pharaohs and of Moses the Israelite. Home to the Great Pyramids and the Sphinx. That's it!
(sung) We’ll populate an orphanage in Cairo
With foundlings from the reeds along the Nile
To watch a creature grow, to swaddle it and know
The joy of its pathetic little smile
ENTOURAGE:
Its little smile
HYACINTH:
The news will travel soon enough to London
ENTOURAGE:
To London
HYACINTH:
Our selflessness will meet with great acclaim
ENTOURAGE:
Huzzah!
HYACINTH:
The sniping will be stilled
And the empire will be filled
With homes for bastard children in my name
(spoken) All aboard the Luxor express to Cairo!
MONTY:
(spoken) And off she went. What I'd failed to tell her was that a violent uprising against the empire was imminent, and no British citizen was considered safe, so you can imagine my surprise when Lady Hyacinth returned to London, quite unharmed
HYACINTH:
(spoken) Oh, where will my largesse be truly appreciated?
I need a place so low that hope itself has been abandoned!
MONTY:
(spoken) You’ve heard, of course, of the untouchables in India?
HYACINTH:
(spoken) India. Land of Hindus and Muslims, of tamarind and saffron. Exotic and unknowable. That's it!
(sung) We’ll find ourselves some lepers in the Punjab
The hopeless and the wretched and the cursed
Forgotten and unblessed
ENTOURAGE:
Unblessed
HYACINTH:
I’ll take them to my breast
ENTOURAGE:
Your breast
HYACINTH:
If Daisy Greville doesn’t get there first
When we arrive, they’ll hobble out to greet us
ENTOURAGE:
Hello there
HYACINTH:
Their toothless grins would melt a heart of stone
ENTOURAGE:
Ahhh
HYACINTH:
And every dilettante
Will envy me and want
A colony of lepers of her own
Now, not a word to even your mothers 'til we leave, although--
Come to think of it, what is the point of helping others unless you let the whole world know?
(spoken) Call the Times of London!
MONTY:
(spoken) And off she went. I'd neglected to mention the malaria pandemic in the Punjab--a bit of insurance, in case leprosy itself failed to prove contagious. So you can imagine my shock when Lady Hyacinth returned to London in record time, quite the picture of health
I don’t suppose you’d be willing to penetrate the jungle of deepest, darkest Africa…
HYACINTH:
(spoken) Africa. From Zululand to Yoruba, home of proud warriors, their naked torsos rippling in the firelight!
(sung) We’ll civilize a village in the jungle
ENTOURAGE:
The jungle
HYACINTH:
It can’t take long to learn their mother tongue
ENTOURAGE:
Not long then
HYACINTH:
Of words, they have but six
And five of them are clicks
ENTOURAGE:
*click*
HYACINTH:
And all of them are different words for dung
And can’t you see their frightful painted faces
ENTOURAGE:
Their faces
HYACINTH:
They’ll teach us how to swing from vine to vine
ENTOURAGE:
From vine to vine to vine
HYACINTH:
It’s Daisy Greville’s loss
She’ll never come across
A tribe of backward natives worse than mine
HYACINTH & ENTOURAGE:
The Hottentots and Pygmies may appall us...
HYACINTH:
But even they are part of God’s design
ENTOURAGE:
Ahhh
HYACINTH:
We bid you all goodbye
ENTOURAGE:
Goodbye
HYACINTH:
Let all of London try
To find a tribe of natives worse than mine
Charity toward others is divine
ENTOURAGE:
Divine, divine, divine, divine, charity is divine
Credits
A Gentleman’s Guide to Love and Murder Company

A Gentleman’s Guide to Love and Murder Company

About “Lady Hyacinth Abroad” by A Gentleman’s Guide to Love and Murder Company

Read the complete lyrics to "Lady Hyacinth Abroad" by A Gentleman’s Guide to Love and Murder Company from the album "A Gentleman’s Guide to Love and Murder (Original Broadway Cast)" in 2014. On Lyrks you can follow along with the full text, explore the artist's discography, and discover related songs. The track is often categorized under Broadway, Soundtrack, Pop.

"Lady Hyacinth Abroad" is performed by A Gentleman’s Guide to Love and Murder Company. from the album "A Gentleman’s Guide to Love and Murder (Original Broadway Cast)" in 2014 This page provides the full lyric text for fans who want to sing along, study the songwriting, or compare versions across releases. Lyrks organizes lyrics by artist and song slug so you can bookmark and share a stable URL. Music lyrics help listeners connect with emotion, narrative, and rhythm in a track. Whether you are learning English, researching a favorite chorus, or preparing for karaoke, having accurate line breaks and section labels (verse, chorus, bridge) makes the experience easier. We link to the official artist profile on Lyrks where available, including biography snippets, top songs, and chart placements when we have that data. If you enjoy "Lady Hyacinth Abroad", explore more songs by A Gentleman’s Guide to Love and Murder Company using the links below. Chart and trending pages on Lyrks highlight what listeners are searching for this week. For copyright or correction requests, see our DMCA and contact pages.

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Frequently asked questions

"Lady Hyacinth Abroad" is credited to A Gentleman’s Guide to Love and Murder Company. Songwriting credits may include additional writers listed on the release; check the credits section on this page for linked collaborators.

"Lady Hyacinth Abroad" appears on "A Gentleman’s Guide to Love and Murder (Original Broadway Cast)" in 2014.

Visit the A Gentleman’s Guide to Love and Murder Company artist page at /artist/a-gentlemans-guide-to-love-and-murder-company for biography, popular tracks, and links to more lyric pages.