[REGINA, spoken]
Mayor, we don’t really know the first thing about these people,
or even what they want to build!
[HERTZ]
Say you don’t know me
Or recognize my face
Say you don’t care who goes
To that kind of place
[REGINA]
Knee-deep in the hoopla
Sinking in your fight
[HERTZ, with FRANZ]
Too many runaways
Eating up the night
Marconi plays the mamba
[REGINA]
Listen to the radio
Don’t you remember?
We built this city
We built this city on-
[MAYOR, spoken]
Clean, efficient living?
[HERTZ, spoken]
Exactly!
[REGINA, spoken]
But mayor, think about the businesses already there! what about them?
[DENNIS, spoken]
They’re calling it 'economic redevelopment.'
Apparently "The Bourbon" no longer generates an adequate tax revenue.
[LONNY, spoken]
That’s why I keep telling ya, we need to bring back 'naked jello wrestling' Thursdays!
But this time, check it, we let women enter.
[DENNIS, spoken]
Maybe it’s time to cash it in anyway...
[DREW, spoken]
Whoa, Dennis! What are you saying?
[DENNIS, spoken]
It’s just--
[sung]
I’m sittin’ on this barstool
Talkin’ like a damn fool
Got the twelve o’clock news blues
And I’ve given up hope
For the afternoon soaps
And a bottle of cold brew
Is it any wonder I’m not crazy?
[LONNY, spoken]
So chew a couple of Prozac! Come on, Dennis!
[DENNIS]
Is it any wonder I’m sane at all?
[DREW, spoken]
You do wash your hands a lot...
[FULL CAST]
Is it any wonder I’ve got too much time on my hands
[DENNIS]
And it’s tickin’ away
[LONNY]
Tickin’ away from me
[DENNIS, spoken]
Hold the phone! Do you guys see who’s in today’s paper?
[DREW, reading from the paper]
"Monster rockers 'Arsenal' are breaking up.
According to sources, lead singer, Stacee Jaxx,
will leave the band after this tour to pursue a solo career--"
[DENNIS, spoken]
Perfect, right? Lonny, who gave Stacee and Arsenal their start?
[LONNY, spoken]
We did. So?
[DENNIS, spoken]
So? what if we hosted their last gig… ever.
[LONNY, spoken]
The last arsenal show? Here?
[DENNIS, spoken]
Tell me that wouldn’t generate adequate tax revenue. Plus, Stacee still owes me from that hotel incident with the cool whip and the baby llama.
[LONNY, spoken]
Love it.
[DENNIS, spoken]
I just hope it’s enough.
[LONNY, spoken]
It’s gotta be! I mean, the mayor isn’t a total money-grubbing whore. Wink.
[REGINA, spoken]
Mayor, you’re not thinking clearly.
[HERTZ, spoken]
Mayor, take ze money and
[HERTZ & ENSEMBLE]
Rid this city
[REGINA, spoken]
No!
[MAYOR, HERTZ, FRANZ, & ENSEMBLE]
Rid this city of rock and roll
[REGINA, spoken]
Not this city!
[MAYOR, spoken]
Regina, you’re fired.
[MAYOR, HERTZ, FRANZ, & ENSEMBLE]
We’ll rid this city of rock and roll
[REGINA, spoken]
You’re not gonna get away with this!
[LONNY, spoken]
Woah, I can’t believe you still have his number.
[DENNIS dials STACEE and she picks up.]
[DENNIS, spoken]
Stacee? it’s Denbo.
[STACEE, spoken]
Who?
[DENNIS, spoken]
Dennis, Dennis Dupree. Listen, how would you like to do your Arsenal farewell show here at "The Bourbon?"
[STACEE JAXX, spoken]
Yeah, well we already got something planned for our last tour gig in Portland. so ah…
[DENNIS, spoken]
I understand that. But just imagine, for a second, your last gig in a place that started it all. A lot of press on something like that.
[STACEE JAXX, spoken]
Yeah, it sounds cool, but ah…
[DENNIS, spoken]
And of course, we’d put your name above the band. Stacee Jaxx and Arsenal. One night only. Right before a solo album. Which, just between you and me, I’m so glad you’re doing. You know what I always used to say about you.
[STACEE JAXX, spoken]
...what?
[DENNIS]
Well, you’re a jet fuel genius
You can solve the world’s problems
Without even tryin’
[STACEE JAXX, spoken]
It’s true.
[sung]
I have dozens of friends
And the fun never ends
That is as long as I’m buyin’
Is it any wonder I’m not the president?
[DENNIS, spoken]
I’d vote for you, Stacee.
[STACEE JAXX]
Is it any wonder I’m null and void?
[DENNIS, spoken]
I don’t even know what that means.
[FULL CAST excluding HERTZ, MAYOR, & FRANZ]
Is it any wonder I’ve got too much time on my hands
[DENNIS]
And it’s tickin’ away
[LONNY, DENNIS, & DREW]
Tickin’ away from me
[FULL CAST excluding HERTZ, MAYOR, & FRANZ]
Too much time on my hands
[DENNIS]
Tick, tick, tickin’ away
[FULL CAST excluding HERTZ, MAYOR, & FRANZ]
Too much time on my hands
[STACEE JAXX]
I don’t know what to do
[FULL CAST excluding HERTZ, MAYOR, & FRANZ]
Too much time on my hands
[HERTZ, MAYOR, & FRANZ]
We will rid this city!
[FULL CAST, excluding HERTZ, MAYOR, & FRANZ]
Too much time on my hands
[HERTZ, MAYOR, & FRANZ]
Of rock and roll
[FULL CAST excluding HERTZ, MAYOR, & FRANZ]
Too much time on my hands
Too much time on my hands
Too much time--
[HERTZ, spoken]
Shall I call zee bulldozers?
[DENNIS]
Remember when you [redacted] with the baby llama?
[STACEE JAXX & MAYOR]
I'll do it.
