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Modern Major General Lyrics by Adrian D. Holmes

The Pirates of Penzance: Revamped and Revisited

2016

[Major-General Stanley]
I am the very model of a modern Major-General
I've information vegetable, animal, and mineral
I know the kings of England, and I quote the fights historical
From Marathon to Waterloo, in order categorical;
I'm very well acquainted too with matters mathematical
I understand equations, both the simple and quadratical
About binomial theorem I'm teeming with a lot o' news---
With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse
[Chorus - Pirates, Daughters]
With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse
With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse
With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypote-pote-nuse
[Major-General Stanley]
I'm very good at integral and differential calculus
I know the scientific names of beings animalculous;
In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral
I am the very model of a modern Major-General
[Chorus - Pirates, Daughters]
In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral
He is the very model of a modern Major-General!
I know our mythic history, King Arthur's and Sir Caradoc's
I answer hard acrostics, I've a pretty taste for paradox
I quote in elegiacs all the crimes of Heliogabalus
In conics I can floor peculiarities parablous
I can tell undoubted Raphaels from Gerard Dows and Zoffanies
I know the croaking chorus from the Frogs of Aristophanes
Then I can hum a fugue of which I've heard the music's din afore
And whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense Pinafore
[Chorus - Pirates, Daughters]
And whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense Pinafore
And whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense Pinafore
And whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense Pinafore!
[Major-General Stanley]
Then I can write a washing bill in Balylonic cuneiform
And tell you every detail of Caractacus's uniform;
In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral
I am the very model of a modern Major-General
[Chorus - Pirates, Daughters]
In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral
He is the very model of a modern Major-General!
[Major-General Stanley]
In fact, when I know what is meant by "mamelon" and "ravelin"
When I can tell at sight a mauser rifle from a javelin
When such affairs as sorties and surprises I'm more wary at
And when I know precisely what is meant by "commissariat"
When I have learnt what progress has been made in modern gunnery
When I know more of tactics than a novice in a nunnery:
In short, when I've a smattering of elemental strategy
You'll say a better Major-General has never sat a gee
[Chorus - Pirates, Daughters]
You'll say a better Major-General has never sat a gee
You'll say a better Major-General has never sat a gee
You'll say a better Major-General has never sat-a-sat-a-gee
[Major-General Stanley]
For my military knowledge, though I'm plucky and adventury
Has only been brought down to the beginning of the century;
But still in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral
I am the very model of a modern Major-General
[Chorus - Pirates, Daughters]
But still in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral
He is the very model of a modern Major-General!
Credits
Adrian D. Holmes

Adrian D. Holmes

About “Modern Major General” by Adrian D. Holmes

Read the complete lyrics to "Modern Major General" by Adrian D. Holmes from the album "The Pirates of Penzance: Revamped and Revisited" in 2016. On Lyrks you can follow along with the full text, explore the artist's discography, and discover related songs. The track is often categorized under Pop.

"Modern Major General" is performed by Adrian D. Holmes. from the album "The Pirates of Penzance: Revamped and Revisited" in 2016 This page provides the full lyric text for fans who want to sing along, study the songwriting, or compare versions across releases. Lyrks organizes lyrics by artist and song slug so you can bookmark and share a stable URL. Music lyrics help listeners connect with emotion, narrative, and rhythm in a track. Whether you are learning English, researching a favorite chorus, or preparing for karaoke, having accurate line breaks and section labels (verse, chorus, bridge) makes the experience easier. We link to the official artist profile on Lyrks where available, including biography snippets, top songs, and chart placements when we have that data. If you enjoy "Modern Major General", explore more songs by Adrian D. Holmes using the links below. Chart and trending pages on Lyrks highlight what listeners are searching for this week. For copyright or correction requests, see our DMCA and contact pages.

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Frequently asked questions

"Modern Major General" is credited to Adrian D. Holmes. Songwriting credits may include additional writers listed on the release; check the credits section on this page for linked collaborators.

"Modern Major General" appears on "The Pirates of Penzance: Revamped and Revisited" in 2016.

Visit the Adrian D. Holmes artist page at /artist/adrian-d-holmes for biography, popular tracks, and links to more lyric pages.