So she unblocked me after a year, why, just saw her in a dream today oh my, now I’m shaking, was I mistaken when i started this shit or continued it, thoughts getting me sick an i wanna throw up it’s so nauseous, why the fuck I haven’t figured out before damn, it was such a dirty show, almost a year then I got to mental hospital, lost conscious, wasted abilities to keep myself adequate, she was so gorgeous, but later changed too many times Again with killing my rhymes, kicked away ma inspiration almost started losing flow, fuck this bitch just for sure but what the fuck is inside, something’s wrong, can’t even decidе, oh god what’s like I’m your Slim and you’re my Kim, remеmber when she was waiting for me from states and Fucking cheated on me then, forgot and blocked when I came back, and what now No I’m not shocked but it’s so hard to come up with any idea, alone with myself in my head here, Still hope you’ll burn in hell’s flames, Didn’t let to drown any tears, many nearers said that she’s like I’m looking in the mirror
Dammit, no it ain’t, she was so weird, don’t know how I got all those fears and when I got mad after her is really inhere
Can’t believe that it was real, that I had this feel, shit mates said that there’s something left in me, even when I don’t see it, no way cuz my hate is strong as steel
Would like to cut her body with a saw to rims, am I really able to get to this crazy level
(would she really make me become a killer or am I able to get iller)
With not even a one regret
I continue living in this shit
Life is hard who would doubt in it
World is keeping darkening
If I would meet that bitch again
I would never change my way
To many times she left me there
So I should fucking stay away
I Was twice in it, same arrows an shit
Heart’s bleed, madness’es seed
Alike dices throwing in, do I like or hate being on it
What the hell is it, should blame me or her cuz of it
Feels breed, rhymes feed, reasoned it on a real thing or where it all seals
How the fuck am I supposed to chill
When I see someone with similar appearance appearing somewhere near, it throws me to the shiver, I start to feel cold and i wanna fucking kill her, or run far away, god please don’t let me meet her on my way, cuz I would jump on her and choke, especially if I will see my chain on her neck, it would get so wrecked, feels so bad, holy shit, but what if for real, there’s something left, deep inside in chest or somewhere in my messed mind, I should stop, pull myself together, and find things that would distract me, it destroys me, annoys me, every nerve of mine, all the noise and all I hear again, all the voices that appeared again
Dammit daamn, please tell me man why I’m like in a mist, why I can’t clench my fists, meet it all in the face and go on my ways
Am I prey, is it curse, what else to say, small lures making me thinking of it
Should’ve leave it or should’ve killed it
I don’t and I do want to feel it, tears apart me, god please don’t let me drown in it, not again, not this time, not all old times, not becoming nut once again, not those frames
What was it was, don’t get ashamed, ain’t faint, hold on what’s main, no more chained
And when I’ll see what is next, what’s in the future, and what’s gonna be next
With not even a one regret
I continue living in this shit
Life is hard who would doubt in it
World is keeping darkening
If I would meet that bitch again
I would never change my way
To many times she left me there
So I should fucking stay away
So she’s either cocaine or methamphetamine for me, like on ketamine, those endorphins were real, will I ever feel em, would I be so thrilled once again, what if she would want me back, what am I all in ? Not with this bitch, undead crazy witch, would do anything to switch the way I feel, stitch all the wounds, stop bleed and getting myself killed cus of the reason soul tilted towards darkest field, has kneeled to her too many times, it was so ideal, seemed like a perfect love deal, she was so sexappeal
That first kiss after good evening was missed, high as fuck and drunk we hugged and then almost ate each other gently, my head was so dizzy, thoughts got freezed an mind became easier than feather, souls in vibrations synchronized, in hesitation we chose one direction, all conversation under oscillation, dreamed of her as soon as I met her, no obligations just those feels, didn’t do any calculations we just lived making no expectations, so much happiness until it turned to thriller, with hided confrontation of our wills
Even was on medication taking pills, no we didn’t try to conceal all the real demons that revealed and turned our love into battlefield, first times Both of us thought that we fucking dealed, after every argument we healed, no obstacles appeared except of termination of my feels, life’s examination showed that we lost our concentration, afterwards my liberation I’ve even been in celebration, too late I made an evaluation counting all violations
And now how come I got this inspiration
With not even a one regret
I continue living in this shit
Life is hard who would doubt in it
World is keeping darkening
If I would meet that bitch again
I would never change my way
To many times she left me there
So I should fucking stay away
