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Love Song Lyrics by Albert Brooks

A Star is Bought

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Is the room just the right temperature?
Should we do it on the couch?
Or should we do it on the floor?
Or should we check into a fine hotel
One with naked paintings?
No, we'll not go anywhere
We'll stay right here
Let's not waste time
Why not take off your brassiere
And put it over there by my socks?
I'll make sure that the front door is locked
And I'll take the telephone
Off the hook
Yea, you look good standing there
Wearing only shoes
And pretty underwear
Would you mind if I ask
Do you like children?
You do? Well, guess what, my dear:
You'll be getting none from me
I've undergone some surgery
There'll be no pregnancy here
I'm about as potent as
A warm glass of beer
Anyway, let us start
I'm getting old!
Now, we are both standing in the nude
I don't want to be too rough
Or do anything too crude
Would you like to lie down
And I'll climb on top?
Or I can tie you up
And pretend that this is rape!
I'll get dressed up like an ape
Or name another act
I heard you were a kleptomaniac
Well, you can take
A look at…this!
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
A-hem
Say, do you mind
If I tell you about
A time I went to war
Listen! There was this squadron of planes
Maybe a hundred or so
They were dropping bombs
All over my head!
Huh!
Well, what could I do?
I went for my ammo and gun
And I single-handedly
Shot down every one
There, my story's told
Does it leave you cold?
It sure makes me hot!
Now, the moment of truth is at hand
The evening has progressed
Just exactly as I planned
I don't think we should ruin it
With much more foreplay
Whoa, my God above!
I've never felt like this before
Like I'm the sea and you're the shore
And as my surf begins to pound
If you promise not to make a sound
You will actually hear
My tide come in!
Heh. Huh! Ho! Whoa! Whooa!
It's like a rollercoaster into space!
Oh, Lord! This must be the place!
Yes!
Oh, no!
God!
Oh-ohh-hoo-hoo-hooooh-ohhhhh!
How much do I owe?
It's free?
No charge for me?
I love you!
The piece is a turn-on. [chuckles]
Credits
Albert Brooks

Albert Brooks

About “Love Song” by Albert Brooks

Read the complete lyrics to "Love Song" by Albert Brooks from the album "A Star is Bought". On Lyrks you can follow along with the full text, explore the artist's discography, and discover related songs. The track is often categorized under Non-Music, Comedy, Orchestral.

"Love Song" is performed by Albert Brooks. from the album "A Star is Bought" This page provides the full lyric text for fans who want to sing along, study the songwriting, or compare versions across releases. Lyrks organizes lyrics by artist and song slug so you can bookmark and share a stable URL. Music lyrics help listeners connect with emotion, narrative, and rhythm in a track. Whether you are learning English, researching a favorite chorus, or preparing for karaoke, having accurate line breaks and section labels (verse, chorus, bridge) makes the experience easier. We link to the official artist profile on Lyrks where available, including biography snippets, top songs, and chart placements when we have that data. If you enjoy "Love Song", explore more songs by Albert Brooks using the links below. Chart and trending pages on Lyrks highlight what listeners are searching for this week. For copyright or correction requests, see our DMCA and contact pages.

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Frequently asked questions

"Love Song" is credited to Albert Brooks. Songwriting credits may include additional writers listed on the release; check the credits section on this page for linked collaborators.

"Love Song" appears on "A Star is Bought".

Visit the Albert Brooks artist page at /artist/albert-brooks for biography, popular tracks, and links to more lyric pages.