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The Whole “Being Dead” Thing Lyrics by Alex Brightman, Beetlejuice Original Broadway Cast Recording Ensemble

Beetlejuice (Original Broadway Cast Recording)

2019

[BEETLEJUICE]
Hey, folks! Begging your pardon!
'Scuse me! Sorry to barge in!
Now let's skip the tears and start on the whole
Y'know, "being dead" thing
You're doomed! Enjoy the singing
The sword of Damocles is swinging
And if I hear your cell phone ringing
I'll kill you myself
The whole "being dead" thing!
Death can get a person stressed
"We should have carpe'd way more diems
Now we're never gonna see ‘em!"
I can show you what comes next
So don't be freaked
Stay in your seats
I do this bullshit, like, eight times a week
So just relax, you'll be fine
Drink your fifty-dollar wine
And take a breath!
[ENSEMBLE]
Welcome to a show about death!
[BEETLEJUICE]
You're
You're gonna be fine
On the other side
DIE! YOU'RE ALL GONNA DIE!
YOU'RE ALL GONNA DIE!
I'll
I'll be your guide
To the other side
[ENSEMBLE]
Well in full disclosure: it's a show about death!
[BEETLEJUICE]
Everybody gets on fine here
Like Rodgers, Hart, and Hammerstein here
The women's bathroom has no line here
Just pee where you want
The whole "being dead" thing!
You're just gonna love the folks here
Yeah, I know you're woke, but you can take a joke here
And every show I do, like, a TON of coke here
The whole—
[Snorts loudly.]
PAH-HAH! The whole "being dead" thing!
Nobody is bullet-proof
"I work out, I eat clean!"
Jesus, pass the Dramamine
Time to face the brutal truth: (Dies Illa)
‘Cause we're all on a hit list
Might not live ‘till Christmas
Choke to death on Triscuits
Hey, that's just statistics
So take a little break here
Kinda like a wake here
The scenery is fake here
But there's a giant snake here!
Ha ha ha
[ENSEMBLE]
Welcome to a show about death!
[BEETLEJUICE]
You're
You're gonna be fine—thank you!
On the other side—how you doin'?
Oh, not good!
Ba-be-ba-ba-be-bo-boo-bap-boop!
I'll—hey!
I'll be your guide
To the other side
Seriously, though, this is a show about—
[ENSEMBLE]
Death is taboo, but it's hardly something new
There's nothing medical professionals could do
‘cept maybe just bill you
[BEETLEJUICE, spoken]
If you die while listening to this album, it's still gonna keep playing. 
[ENSEMBLE]
There's no destiny or fate
Just a terrifying wait
Filled with people that you hate
And on a certain date, the Universe kills you!
[BEETLEJUICE, (ENSEMBLE)]
That's the thing with life:
No one makes it out alive
Toss that body in the pit
"Gosh, it's awful, ain't it tragic?"
"Blah-blah, Bible, Jesus magic"
When you're dead, who gives a shit?
"No pilates, no more yoga!"
"Namaste", you freakin' posers
From the cradle to cremation (Dies Irae)
Death just needs a little conversation!
I have mastered the art (Dies Irae)
Of tearing convention apart (Dies Irae)
So, how about we all make a start (Dies Irae)
On the whole "being dead" thing!
[ALL]
God, I hope you're ready for a show about death!
Credits
Alex Brightman

Alex Brightman

Beetlejuice Original Broadway Cast Recording Ensemble

Beetlejuice Original Broadway Cast Recording Ensemble

About “The Whole “Being Dead” Thing” by Alex Brightman

Read the complete lyrics to "The Whole “Being Dead” Thing" by Alex Brightman, Beetlejuice Original Broadway Cast Recording Ensemble from the album "Beetlejuice (Original Broadway Cast Recording)" in 2019. On Lyrks you can follow along with the full text, explore the artist's discography, and discover related songs. The track is often categorized under In English, Musicals, Broadway.

"The Whole “Being Dead” Thing" is performed by Alex Brightman, Beetlejuice Original Broadway Cast Recording Ensemble. from the album "Beetlejuice (Original Broadway Cast Recording)" in 2019 This page provides the full lyric text for fans who want to sing along, study the songwriting, or compare versions across releases. Lyrks organizes lyrics by artist and song slug so you can bookmark and share a stable URL. Music lyrics help listeners connect with emotion, narrative, and rhythm in a track. Whether you are learning English, researching a favorite chorus, or preparing for karaoke, having accurate line breaks and section labels (verse, chorus, bridge) makes the experience easier. We link to the official artist profile on Lyrks where available, including biography snippets, top songs, and chart placements when we have that data. If you enjoy "The Whole “Being Dead” Thing", explore more songs by Alex Brightman, Beetlejuice Original Broadway Cast Recording Ensemble using the links below. Chart and trending pages on Lyrks highlight what listeners are searching for this week. For copyright or correction requests, see our DMCA and contact pages.

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Frequently asked questions

"The Whole “Being Dead” Thing" is credited to Alex Brightman, Beetlejuice Original Broadway Cast Recording Ensemble. Songwriting credits may include additional writers listed on the release; check the credits section on this page for linked collaborators.

"The Whole “Being Dead” Thing" appears on "Beetlejuice (Original Broadway Cast Recording)" in 2019.

Visit the Alex Brightman, Beetlejuice Original Broadway Cast Recording Ensemble artist page at /artist/alex-brightman for biography, popular tracks, and links to more lyric pages.