[Shooter]
Alright, so-so Angry Grandpa, you decided that you know, we met, uh, I'm a fan of yours and-
[AGP]
I'm a fan a YOURS!
[Shooter]
(chuckle) I-I- You've worn my shirt a whole lot, I wonder if you've- you've even washed the amount of times I've seen you wearing the shirt-
[Lyricold]
He never bathes or-
[AGP]
SHUT UP, YOU KNOW I BATHE!
[Lyricold]
Chill out, you ain't gotta scream so loud.
[Shooter]
Hey- (chuckles)
[AGP]
Are we gonna do the goddamn song or not?
[Shooter]
Uh, yeah we're recording the song, but here's the thing.
I know you-you picked one of my dad's songs-
[AGP]
You right, one of the best he's- the best songs to me he's ever did.
[Lyricold]
It is a good song.
[Shooter]
The Most Sensible Thing, and you wanna sing-
[AGP]
Why are you kissin' his ass?
[Shooter]
I mean, I don't even know if you can sing.
[AGP]
Wait a minute, why're you kissin' his ass?
[Some guy]
(Laughing)
[Lyricold]
I said it's a good song.
[AGP]
Yeah, but no. You said- Yeah but you kissin' his a- just, talk to me, ok? Forget about that fat fuck.
[Shooter]
(Laughing)
[Some guy]
Why- why- why- why-
[Bridgette West]
Ok...
[AGP]
WAIT, WAIT! A sec. Who's doin' tha...?
[Some guy]
Why are you reading lyrics?
[Lyricold]
That's what I was wondering-
[Angry Grandpa]
WHOA, WAIT A minute! I gotta read lyrics.
[Shooter]
No, but I mean- when we're recording, you don't want to have the piece of paper there in front of you 'cause it'll make a noise of the paper-
[Angry Grandpa]
WELL GODDAMN, IF I CAN'T HAVE MY LYRICS, THEN I AIN'T GODDAMN GOIN' DO IT! GIMME THAT MOTHERFUCKER!
[Lyricold]
I just wanna sho-
[Angry Grandpa]
I EITHER GONNA HAVE THE PAPER OR I CAN'T DO IT!
[Lyricold]
May I hold it?
[Angry Grandpa]
WHAT?
[Lyricold]
Listen to this. (Paper crinkling) You can hear that in the microphone.
[Angry Grandpa]
Sounds like money.
[Shooter]
(Chuckle)
[Lyricold]
Well, it's paper.
[Angry Grandpa]
Well it's...
[Lyricold]
You can hear that.
[Angry Grandpa]
But it's MY fuckin' paper!
[Shooter]
Well Grandpa, I haven't even heard you sing yet, so I don't even know if you can sing, but we're-we're trusting you-
[Angry Grandpa]
I CAN SING!
[Shooter]
You sing? You sing- (chuckle)
[Angry Grandpa]
DO, RE, MI, FA, SO, LA, TI, DO!
[Shooter]
(chuckle)
[Lyricold]
You gotta chill, dude.
[Angry Grandpa]
You need to suck my dick, fat boy.
[Shooter]
(chuckle) Oh man well, here's your thing. Here's-
[Some guy]
Shooter, pro-produce him.
[Shooter]
I'm TRYING. I'm- stay out of it.
[Angry Grandpa]
No, you didn't produce me! My fuckin' DADDY produced me!
[Some guy]
Yeah... (chuckle)
[Shooter]
I- well- I know, well-
[Angry Grandpa]
You're daddy produced YOU!
[Shooter]
Yes... he did-
[Angry Grandpa]
So they we're both PRODUCERS!
[Shooter]
Ye- well clearly, apparently.
[Lyricold]
One parent did a better job.
[Angry Grandpa]
I wish the fuck I never produced you.
[Shooter]
Uh- (chuckle)
[Lyricold]
Ok, fine...
[Shooter]
Well- th- I mean i'm not coming here to start a family fight, here's the thing. I just don't know if you've ever been in a situation where you're recorded, I mean, of course I know that the- th-
[Angry Grandpa]
We're not by- been recorded before, it's probably be in some...
[Shooter]
It's on a video camera usually, bu-
[Angry Grandpa]
Yeah!
[Shooter]
Th- this is a real microphone.
[Angry Grandpa]
That's real?
[Shooter]
That's a real microphone-
[Angry Grandpa]
You get it from Walmart?
[Shooter]
It's expensive, so don't-don't you know, you gotta be careful with it and uh, it's a good one-
[Angry Grandpa]
IS IT ON?!
[Shooter]
Yes, it's on. It doesn't matter. (chuckle)
[Lyricold]
Dad-
[Angry Grandpa]
YOU'RE THE ONLY SENSIBLE THING! Whoa!
[Lyricold]
Not yet! Not yet.
[Shooter]
It's doesn't- yeah, but if it-it doesn't work so good if you're so close to it, it's better if you're a little farther away from it.
[Angry Grandpa]
YOU'RE THE MOST SENSIBLE THING, I'VE EVER DONE!
[Shooter]
[Chuckle]
[Lyricold]
Dad, it's not-it's not even how it sounds.
[Shooter]
Yeah, well I mean I hope that's how he's gonna sing it if it's if-if-.
[Angry Grandpa]
But i'm way back here now!
[Shooter]
Yea-well no, g-get a little closer, let's-
[Angry Grandpa]
Oh, Jesus Christ... y-you make up your mind? Would you make up your mind? What'd you want me to do? Up closer, back farther, what do you want?!
[Shooter]
I've worked with alot of really good people and they know how to-
[Angry Grandpa]
Oh, bullshit.
[Lyricold]
Dad, you want to record this or not? Shooter's gonna leave!
[Angry Grandpa]
Shooter ain't leaving- you stubbed my goddamn toe again, you you-don't regret it I tell you that right now! (laughs)
[Shooter]
(chuckle) I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-
[Angry Grandpa]
Damn Shooter, you're heavy for a little man, goddamn! That's my fuckin' toe! FUCK!
[Lyricold]
I've stepped on his foot before and got hot coffee, scolded into my face.
[Angry Grandpa]
You stubbed my foot, it was in a cast! Shut up!
[Shooter]
(chuckle)
[Lyricold]
Yeah, it was quo-
[Shooter]
I'm so sorry, I did not mean to step on your foot.
[Angry Grandpa]
Yeah you did, you were trying to punish me.
[Shooter]
I was not, I was not, I was just saying, you know? Stay that far-
[Angry Grandpa]
Is it true that all country music it- they either crying, dying or leaving?
[Shooter]
Uh- (chuckle) I gue-
[Angry Grandpa]
(chuckle) Ok.
[Shooter]
Crying, dying or leaving, I guess.
[Angry Grandpa]
Every song.
[Shooter]
I guess you were introducing-
[Lyricold]
-fear, or going on a dirt road.
[Shooter]
Or-or-or doing me-
[Angry Grandpa]
Or hiring a lina to decorate a hole.
[Shooter]
(chuckle) Hey, do you know how to sing?
[Angry Grandpa]
Yeah, I know how to sing!
[Shooter]
Then let's try and sing this thing, don-
[Lyricold]
Alright...!
[Angry Grandpa]
I'M CAUGHT IN A TRAP, I CAN'T WALK OUT, BECAUSE I LOVE YOU TOO MUCH, BABY!
[Shooter]
That's the wrong song.
[Lyricold]
Why can't you see!
[Angry Grandpa]
Oh, what the fuck's wrong with that song? WHY CAN'T YOU SEE, WHAT YOU'RE DOIN' TO MY PENI- ME-ME-ME! That was hard, that was hard. (chuckle) ARE WE GONNA DO THE GODDAMN SONG OR NOT?!
[Lyricold]
You're-screwing it up! Sing!
[Shooter]
Yeah, s-sing!
[Angry Grandpa]
(clears throat/coughs)
[Lyricold]
This is why you quit smoking...
[Angry Grandpa]
I'v-
[Lyricold]
It's taking too long dad- (skip) -not talented enough to pull this off.
[Angry Grandpa]
I've taken chances on everything in my life, even against all the odds, I roll the dice.
[Lyricold]
Let's have you try it without-
[Angry Grandpa]
Oh, motherfucker, I quit, i'm through, i'm done. I'm DONE! I'm not doing it now, you took my paper, I can't even- FUCK YOU AND FUCK YOU AND FUCK YOU AND FUCK YOU and... fuck you.
[Shooter]
(chuckle)
[Lyricold]
You told me fuck twice.
[Angry Grandpa]
Well you deserved two fucks.
