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Ex-Girlfriend Lyrics by Anthony Jeselnik

Caligula

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I’ve spent two years looking from my ex-girlfriend’s killer. No one will do it. My ex-girlfriend owned a parakeet. Do you guys just hear what I said. She owned a parakeet. Oh my god, that fucking thing never shut up, but the bird was cool. My ex-girlfriend had a lot of really annoying habits. I think the worst is that she really liked cosmo or things like cosmo. And she would flip straight to the relationship page, and no only would she present that to me, as if it were a funny thing for us to do together, even though every question is designed to fuck my entire world up, but even worse is she would get mad at my answers, and make me change them. So we’d get the best score. Like I’ll never forget the last time we played that game, she was like Anthony if you could have lunch with anyone in the world living or dead, and I said, I don’t know Caligula. And she goes really Caligula. That’s what you’re going to say to me, your girlfriend, are you sure? I said oh I’m sorry baby, let me change that-- I’d have lunch with you, and you’d be dead. Yeah we’re not together anymore. She’s got a new boyfriend now, they just moved in together now, and I’ve heard rumors that he’s abusive. Which makes me want to go over there with a baseball bat, and then blame it on her boyfriend. But I don't want it to sound like a massagist up here, she wasn’t a bad girl, but she was terrible in bed. Terrible in bed. I mean she would just lay there, screaming no. That was rape joke number 2 babydoll
Credits
Anthony Jeselnik

Anthony Jeselnik

About “Ex-Girlfriend” by Anthony Jeselnik

Read the complete lyrics to "Ex-Girlfriend" by Anthony Jeselnik from the album "Caligula". On Lyrks you can follow along with the full text, explore the artist's discography, and discover related songs. The track is often categorized under Pop.

"Ex-Girlfriend" is performed by Anthony Jeselnik. from the album "Caligula" This page provides the full lyric text for fans who want to sing along, study the songwriting, or compare versions across releases. Lyrks organizes lyrics by artist and song slug so you can bookmark and share a stable URL. Music lyrics help listeners connect with emotion, narrative, and rhythm in a track. Whether you are learning English, researching a favorite chorus, or preparing for karaoke, having accurate line breaks and section labels (verse, chorus, bridge) makes the experience easier. We link to the official artist profile on Lyrks where available, including biography snippets, top songs, and chart placements when we have that data. If you enjoy "Ex-Girlfriend", explore more songs by Anthony Jeselnik using the links below. Chart and trending pages on Lyrks highlight what listeners are searching for this week. For copyright or correction requests, see our DMCA and contact pages.

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Frequently asked questions

"Ex-Girlfriend" is credited to Anthony Jeselnik. Songwriting credits may include additional writers listed on the release; check the credits section on this page for linked collaborators.

"Ex-Girlfriend" appears on "Caligula".

Visit the Anthony Jeselnik artist page at /artist/anthony-jeselnik for biography, popular tracks, and links to more lyric pages.