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My Father’s a Homo / Everyone Tells Jason to See a Psychiatrist Lyrics by Anthony Rosenthal, Christian Borle, Stephanie J. Block, Andrew Rannells

Falsettos (2016 Broadway Cast Recording)

2016

[JASON]
My father's a homo
My mother's not thrilled at all
Father homo =
What about chromosomes?
Do they carry?
Will they carry?
Who's the homo now?
My father said that one day I'll grow up to be president
And that idea's not so wild
I don't live the life of a normal child
'Cause I'm too smart for my own good
And I'm too good for my sorry little life
My mother's no wife
And my father's no man
No man, at all
[TRINA, spoken]
Honey, why don't you go out and play?
[JASON, spoken]
No!
[Jason begins to play chess with himself. Quickly playing one side, turning the board, moving a piece, turning the board again, etc.]
[TRINA]
Sweetheart, I worry
Sweetheart, I do
I worry a lot
I worry a lot
I worry a lot
(spoken)
I could take you to the Jewish center?
[Jason mocks throwing up.]
[TRINA]
I think you like playing chess alone
That's not normal
[JASON]
What is normal?
[TRINA, spoken]
I wouldn't know.​
(sung)
Why don't you speak on the telephone
With anyone, just get a friend
Anyone
Darling, please, see a psychiatrist
He's quite a guy
And I admire how he acts
No one is saying you're a sick neurotic
But you could find some help
Hear me out, please
Yes, you could find some help
He could help you realize
How confused you are is very clear
Daddy's sincere
But a schmo!
You and I must trust our emotions
Make no commotions
Will you go?
[JASON, spoken]
No!
[MARVIN]
Jason, please see a psychiatrist
He's just a psychiatrist
I'll pay the bill until you're old
[TRINA, MARVIN, JASON]
Darling please listen ​to your father here (Jason)
He's not a genius type (​Please see ​a psychiatrist) (I won't go)
Lord knows, but he ​knows (He's just ​a psychiatrist)
What's true (I will not go)
He chose a man who I ​think knows the answers (I'll pay the ​bill)
​To all your problems (Never never never never)
Mendel understands (Until) (Never never never never)
What's bothering you (You're old)
[JASON, spoken]
Forget it!
[ALL]
What a mess this is
This family!
Experts can see
This is so!
[Photo flash.]
Photographs can't
Capture our magic
We're simply tragic!
[MARVIN & TRINA]
Will you go?
[JASON, spoken]
No!
[MARVIN & TRINA]
Jason, please see a psychiatrist!
He's not
[JASON]
I won't say boo!
[MARVIN & TRINA]
Exorbitant
And he's very smart!
[JASON]
If intelligence were the only criteria
Then I wouldn't really need a psychiatrist, would I?
[TRINA, spoken]
No.​
[JASON]
Would I?
[MARVIN, spoken]
No.​
[JASON]
Just because you failed as parents
[Trina gasps.]
[TRINA]
Get thee to a psychiatrist!
[MARVIN]
Hey, kid, listen!
[JASON]
I don't need
[TRINA & MARVIN]
He needs a psychiatrist!
[JASON]
I want
[TRINA & MARVIN]
A psychiatrist!
[JASON]
I wanna speak with Whizzer!
[MARVIN]
Speak with whom?
[JASON]
With Whizzer
[MARVIN]
With Whizzer?
[TRINA]
With Whizzer
[JASON]
With Whizzer
[MARVIN, spoken]
Oh my god...
[TRINA, MARVIN & JASON]
Whizzer!
Whizzer!
Whizzer!
Whizzer!
[Whizzer kneels between Marvin and Jason.]
[JASON]
Whizzer, do you think I should see a psychiatrist?
[Whizzer laughs.]
[WHIZZER]
I'm not sure, Jason
[Marvin flicks Whizzer at the back of his head.]
[WHIZZER, spoken]
Ow!
(sung)
Jason, maybe so
[Trina clears her throat.]
[WHIZZER]
Absolutely, Jason
[JASON]
Okay, I'll go
[WHIZZER]
He'll go
[JASON]
I'll go
[TRINA]
He'll go!
[JASON]
If he comes here
[MARVIN]
If he comes here?
[TRINA]
He might come here
[MARVIN]
They don't make house calls
[Whizzer's watch alarm begins beeping.]
[WHIZZER, spoken]
Oh!
[Whizzer turns off the alarm.]
Credits
Anthony Rosenthal

Anthony Rosenthal

Christian Borle

Christian Borle

Stephanie J. Block

Stephanie J. Block

Andrew Rannells

Andrew Rannells

About “My Father’s a Homo / Everyone Tells Jason to See a Psychiatrist” by Anthony Rosenthal

Read the complete lyrics to "My Father’s a Homo / Everyone Tells Jason to See a Psychiatrist" by Anthony Rosenthal, Christian Borle, Stephanie J. Block, Andrew Rannells from the album "Falsettos (2016 Broadway Cast Recording)" in 2016. On Lyrks you can follow along with the full text, explore the artist's discography, and discover related songs. The track is often categorized under Broadway, Musicals, Pop.

"My Father’s a Homo / Everyone Tells Jason to See a Psychiatrist" is performed by Anthony Rosenthal, Christian Borle, Stephanie J. Block, Andrew Rannells. from the album "Falsettos (2016 Broadway Cast Recording)" in 2016 This page provides the full lyric text for fans who want to sing along, study the songwriting, or compare versions across releases. Lyrks organizes lyrics by artist and song slug so you can bookmark and share a stable URL. Music lyrics help listeners connect with emotion, narrative, and rhythm in a track. Whether you are learning English, researching a favorite chorus, or preparing for karaoke, having accurate line breaks and section labels (verse, chorus, bridge) makes the experience easier. We link to the official artist profile on Lyrks where available, including biography snippets, top songs, and chart placements when we have that data. If you enjoy "My Father’s a Homo / Everyone Tells Jason to See a Psychiatrist", explore more songs by Anthony Rosenthal, Christian Borle, Stephanie J. Block, Andrew Rannells using the links below. Chart and trending pages on Lyrks highlight what listeners are searching for this week. For copyright or correction requests, see our DMCA and contact pages.

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Frequently asked questions

"My Father’s a Homo / Everyone Tells Jason to See a Psychiatrist" is credited to Anthony Rosenthal, Christian Borle, Stephanie J. Block, Andrew Rannells. Songwriting credits may include additional writers listed on the release; check the credits section on this page for linked collaborators.

"My Father’s a Homo / Everyone Tells Jason to See a Psychiatrist" appears on "Falsettos (2016 Broadway Cast Recording)" in 2016.

Visit the Anthony Rosenthal, Christian Borle, Stephanie J. Block, Andrew Rannells artist page at /artist/anthony-rosenthal for biography, popular tracks, and links to more lyric pages.