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Army Lyrics by Ben Folds Five

The Unauthorized Biography of Reinhold Messner

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Well I thought about the army
Dad said, "Son, you're fuckin' high"
And I thought, yeah there's a first for everything
So I took my old man's advice
Three sad semesters
It was only 15 grand spent in bed
I thought about the army
I dropped out and joined a band instead
Grew a mustache and a mullet
Got a job at Chick-Fil-A
Citing artistic differences
The band broke up in May
And in June reformed without me
And they'd got a different name
I nuked another grandma's apple pie
And hung my head in shame, oh
I've been thinkin' a lot today
I've been thinkin' a lot today
Oh, I think I'll write a screenplay
Oh, I think I'll take it to L A
Oh, I think I'll get it done yesterday, ah, shit
In this time of introspection
On the eve of my election
I say to my reflection
God please spare me more rejection
Cause my peers they criticize me
And my ex-wives all despise me
Try to put it all behind me
But my redneck past is nipping at my heels
I've been thinking a lot today
I've been thinking a lot today
I've been thinking a lot today
I thought about the army
Credits
Ben Folds Five

Ben Folds Five

About “Army” by Ben Folds Five

Read the complete lyrics to "Army" by Ben Folds Five from the album "The Unauthorized Biography of Reinhold Messner". On Lyrks you can follow along with the full text, explore the artist's discography, and discover related songs. The track is often categorized under Piano Rock, Alternative Rock, Rock.

"Army" is performed by Ben Folds Five. from the album "The Unauthorized Biography of Reinhold Messner" This page provides the full lyric text for fans who want to sing along, study the songwriting, or compare versions across releases. Lyrks organizes lyrics by artist and song slug so you can bookmark and share a stable URL. Music lyrics help listeners connect with emotion, narrative, and rhythm in a track. Whether you are learning English, researching a favorite chorus, or preparing for karaoke, having accurate line breaks and section labels (verse, chorus, bridge) makes the experience easier. We link to the official artist profile on Lyrks where available, including biography snippets, top songs, and chart placements when we have that data. If you enjoy "Army", explore more songs by Ben Folds Five using the links below. Chart and trending pages on Lyrks highlight what listeners are searching for this week. For copyright or correction requests, see our DMCA and contact pages.

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Frequently asked questions

"Army" is credited to Ben Folds Five. Songwriting credits may include additional writers listed on the release; check the credits section on this page for linked collaborators.

"Army" appears on "The Unauthorized Biography of Reinhold Messner".

Visit the Ben Folds Five artist page at /artist/ben-folds-five for biography, popular tracks, and links to more lyric pages.