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Giggling Gertie the Laughing Traffic Warden Lyrics by Bernard Cribbins

The Very Best of Bernard Cribbins

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[Verse 1: Bernard Cribbins]
I know a traffic warden
She's always on our street
She's blonde and fat with yellow hat
And very hard to beat
Just park an extra minute
And she'll pop up all in smiles
When she's 'andin' you a ticket
You can 'ear 'er laugh for miles
[Chorus: Miriam Margolyes]
(Ah ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha)
(Ooh hoo-hoo-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha)
(Ooh hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha)
(Ooh hoo-hoo-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha)
[Post-Chorus (spoken)]
She's marvellous, ain't she?
The kids 'round here call her "Giggling Gertie"
Look at 'er, she's like a stranded whale!
Ha! Gor blimey!
[Verse 2: Bernard Cribbins]
She laughs while she is watching for
Another traffic crime
She yells with glee if she can see
The hand go overtimе
You run to feed the meter
But shе's always got there first
Stickin' somethin' on your windscreen
Still laughin' fit to burst
[Chorus: Miriam Margolyes]
(Ooh ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha)
(Ooh hoo-hoo-hoo-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha)
(Ah ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha)
(Ooh hoo-hoo-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha)
[Post-Chorus (spoken)]
She's marvellous
Ev'rytime she bumps, she bounces
And you'll notice that at no time do her arms leave her body
[Verse 3: Bernard Cribbins]
A driver tried to woo her
To avoid a parking fine
He said, "It's dark, let's have a lark
Come press your lips to mine"
So, she let him stop her laughin'
As beside the car they lay
Then at last she said, "I'll 'ave to laugh
They've towed your car away"
[Chorus: Miriam Margolyes]
(Oh ho-ho-ho-ho ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha)
(Ooh hoo-hoo ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha)
(Ah ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha)
(Oh hoo-hoo ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha)
[Post-Chorus (spoken)]
There used to be two of 'em, ya know, but her mate got run over
She laughed so much, she was off work for three weeks
[Verse 4: Bernard Cribbins]
So, if you should ever see her
As she prowls around the place
Find, if you can, with car or van
A lawful parking space
For while she's only laughing
At a simple meter fine
You'll 'ave 'er in hysterics
On a double yeller line
[Coda]
(Oh ah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha)
There she goes again
(Ooh hoo-hoo-hoo ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha)
Ain't it marvellous
(Ah ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha)
I don't care, it's not my car!
(Ah ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha)
(Ah ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha)
You miserable old bat
(Ah ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha)
Why don't you get a proper job?
(Ah ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha)
I 'ope you break your knicker elastic
(Ah ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha)
Credits
Bernard Cribbins

Bernard Cribbins

About “Giggling Gertie the Laughing Traffic Warden” by Bernard Cribbins

Read the complete lyrics to "Giggling Gertie the Laughing Traffic Warden" by Bernard Cribbins from the album " The Very Best of Bernard Cribbins". On Lyrks you can follow along with the full text, explore the artist's discography, and discover related songs. The track is often categorized under Comedy, UK, Pop.

"Giggling Gertie the Laughing Traffic Warden" is performed by Bernard Cribbins. from the album " The Very Best of Bernard Cribbins" This page provides the full lyric text for fans who want to sing along, study the songwriting, or compare versions across releases. Lyrks organizes lyrics by artist and song slug so you can bookmark and share a stable URL. Music lyrics help listeners connect with emotion, narrative, and rhythm in a track. Whether you are learning English, researching a favorite chorus, or preparing for karaoke, having accurate line breaks and section labels (verse, chorus, bridge) makes the experience easier. We link to the official artist profile on Lyrks where available, including biography snippets, top songs, and chart placements when we have that data. If you enjoy "Giggling Gertie the Laughing Traffic Warden", explore more songs by Bernard Cribbins using the links below. Chart and trending pages on Lyrks highlight what listeners are searching for this week. For copyright or correction requests, see our DMCA and contact pages.

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Frequently asked questions

"Giggling Gertie the Laughing Traffic Warden" is credited to Bernard Cribbins. Songwriting credits may include additional writers listed on the release; check the credits section on this page for linked collaborators.

"Giggling Gertie the Laughing Traffic Warden" appears on " The Very Best of Bernard Cribbins".

Visit the Bernard Cribbins artist page at /artist/bernard-cribbins for biography, popular tracks, and links to more lyric pages.