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Clam Lappers and Sonic the Hedgehog Lyrics by Bill Hicks

The Essential Collection

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You know though, I don’t get it, man. I tell you what, I have this new fear. ‘Cause I know, I know that I’m in a case of arrested development emotionally. I know that now. ‘Cause I realise, you know, like, ah, if you— anyone can go to the video store near my house and see what I’ve rented the past year. It’s fairly frightening, you know? Unbelievable evidence of an emotionally, you know, ah... digression goin’ on here. Porno movies and video games. What am I, thirteen emotionally? You know what I mean? I’m sitting there looking at this receipt I got from them, it’s like Clam Lappers and Sonic Hedgehog. That was one weekend. That was Easter weekend. Something’s going on with me, man. That’s pretty scary way to celebrate the resurrection of Christ... with Clam Lappers and Sonic fucking Hedgehog. You know? I’m... my big fear now is I’m gonna go rent a porno film at this one store I go to a lot, I’m gonna go rent a porno film and take it to the front, you know, and give it to the guy, and he’s gonna do that little ‘doot!’ and suddenly (makes sound of alarm): ‘You’ve just rented your millionth porno tape!’ (alarm) ‘Get a picture of him with it! Anal Entry, volume 500 – he made it through every one of ’em!’ (alarm) Give me the little trophy. Millionth porno tape, wow! Lucky fuckin’ me. And along with Super Mario 2. I wish they’d combine video and porno. That would be great, man, you know? Video games and porno films? I’d have high score on Clam Lappers by now. I wish they did have interactive porno – you know they come out with this thing now, interactive movies? They’re showing it in New York right now. Interactive movie – you watch the movie and then you determine which way you want the plot to go. This is fuck--This is technology solely for porno films... as far as I’m concerned. You know what I mean? I am so sick of being ripped off – if you’ve got enough courage to make porno films, go ahead and be creative about it. You’re, you’re already over the, you know, you’ve jumped the chasm here. ‘We’re gonna film people fuckin’ and suckin’.’ Cool! Now go crazy. You already made the jump. You are within the Dark Lord’s terrain at this point. There’s no reason to get coy. You’re drugging up runaways down at fuckin’ Sunset Boulevard right now. I don’t think you need to have morality plays goin’ on in the porno tape. Go ahead and satisfy my carnal base fuckin’ needs. Interactive porno – that’s the future, my friends. Then all dating will be history. Ah well. It’s backed-up Wil— this is backed-up Willie talking. I always get my most depressed when I’m backed up, man.
Credits
Bill Hicks

Bill Hicks

About “Clam Lappers and Sonic the Hedgehog” by Bill Hicks

Read the complete lyrics to "Clam Lappers and Sonic the Hedgehog" by Bill Hicks from the album "The Essential Collection". On Lyrks you can follow along with the full text, explore the artist's discography, and discover related songs. The track is often categorized under Non-Music.

"Clam Lappers and Sonic the Hedgehog" is performed by Bill Hicks. from the album "The Essential Collection" This page provides the full lyric text for fans who want to sing along, study the songwriting, or compare versions across releases. Lyrks organizes lyrics by artist and song slug so you can bookmark and share a stable URL. Music lyrics help listeners connect with emotion, narrative, and rhythm in a track. Whether you are learning English, researching a favorite chorus, or preparing for karaoke, having accurate line breaks and section labels (verse, chorus, bridge) makes the experience easier. We link to the official artist profile on Lyrks where available, including biography snippets, top songs, and chart placements when we have that data. If you enjoy "Clam Lappers and Sonic the Hedgehog", explore more songs by Bill Hicks using the links below. Chart and trending pages on Lyrks highlight what listeners are searching for this week. For copyright or correction requests, see our DMCA and contact pages.

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Frequently asked questions

"Clam Lappers and Sonic the Hedgehog" is credited to Bill Hicks. Songwriting credits may include additional writers listed on the release; check the credits section on this page for linked collaborators.

"Clam Lappers and Sonic the Hedgehog" appears on "The Essential Collection".

Visit the Bill Hicks artist page at /artist/bill-hicks for biography, popular tracks, and links to more lyric pages.