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Goodbye You Lizard Scum Lyrics by Bill Hicks

The Essential Collection

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Haven't been here in a while, man. Living out in, ah, Los Angeles now. LA, or as I call it, Hell A, and ah, I just like getting outta there at any point, you know, just to go anywhere, you know, for the weather. They don’t have fucking weather there, you know.
Hot 'n' sunny every day. Today: hot 'n' sunny in LA. Yesterday: hot 'n' sunny. EVERY DAY: hot 'n' sunny. And they love it.
"Isn't it great? Every day: hot and sunny. Hot and sunny every day. Isn't that neat?"
What are you, a fuckin' lizard? Only reptiles feel that way about this kind of weather... you know? I’m a mammal. I can afford scarves, coats, cappuccino and rosy-cheeked women, and all are available for sale... on the streets of New York. Now. Where I will soon be returning, because LA is a nightmare city and the sooner it falls into the ocean due to a major earthquake and is flushed away like the turd city it is, into the Pacific Bowl, the better this world will be.
Thank you, good evening. Yes, good evening. How are you tonight? Good. Thank you. The comedy of hate, join me. It's the newest thing. Join me. Hell, I'm spreading Christmas cheer. Welcome. Oh, won't we party hard when LA goes kersplash? Oh, grin from ear to fuckin' ear, won't we? LA fell in the ocean? Ha ha ha ha ha! (singing) "There is a God. He loves us all so much."
LA is a nightmare place, man. You always meet this one guy out in LA, you always– this real smarmy guy. He always says this:
"Yeah, I love calling back east January 1st. What are y'all doin'? Snowed in, huh? Bummer. Me? I'm out by the pool! Ha ha ha haaa!"
What a dick this guy is. It’s why I used to love to call LA when I lived in New York:
“What are y’all doin'? Talking to TV producers, huh? Bummer. Me? I'm reading a book! Yeah, we're thinkin' back east. Yeah, we’re evolving. Is that the big one I hear in the background? Bye you lizard scum! Bye!" (whoosh)
Ha ha ha ha! It's gone, it's gone, it's gone. Ah, it's gone. All the shitty shows are gone, all the idiots screamin' in the fuckin' wind are dead, I love it. Leaving nothing but a cool, beautiful serenity called... Arizona Bay. Ha ha ha! That’s right. When LA falls in the fuckin’ ocean and is flushed away, all it will leave is Arizona Bay.
Credits
Bill Hicks

Bill Hicks

About “Goodbye You Lizard Scum” by Bill Hicks

Read the complete lyrics to "Goodbye You Lizard Scum" by Bill Hicks from the album "The Essential Collection". On Lyrks you can follow along with the full text, explore the artist's discography, and discover related songs. The track is often categorized under Literature, Non-Music, Comedy.

"Goodbye You Lizard Scum" is performed by Bill Hicks. from the album "The Essential Collection" This page provides the full lyric text for fans who want to sing along, study the songwriting, or compare versions across releases. Lyrks organizes lyrics by artist and song slug so you can bookmark and share a stable URL. Music lyrics help listeners connect with emotion, narrative, and rhythm in a track. Whether you are learning English, researching a favorite chorus, or preparing for karaoke, having accurate line breaks and section labels (verse, chorus, bridge) makes the experience easier. We link to the official artist profile on Lyrks where available, including biography snippets, top songs, and chart placements when we have that data. If you enjoy "Goodbye You Lizard Scum", explore more songs by Bill Hicks using the links below. Chart and trending pages on Lyrks highlight what listeners are searching for this week. For copyright or correction requests, see our DMCA and contact pages.

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Frequently asked questions

"Goodbye You Lizard Scum" is credited to Bill Hicks. Songwriting credits may include additional writers listed on the release; check the credits section on this page for linked collaborators.

"Goodbye You Lizard Scum" appears on "The Essential Collection".

Visit the Bill Hicks artist page at /artist/bill-hicks for biography, popular tracks, and links to more lyric pages.