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Hooligans Lyrics by Bill Hicks

Arizona Bay

0

I was over in, ah, England. I went over to England the day the LA riots occurred. I left LA the day the LA riots occurred. Unbelievable timing. I left LA: 
 
‘Bye Bill, enjoy England.’ 
‘I will, y’all have fun while I’m gone.’ 
‘We will, Bill. Bye.’

I land at Heathrow Airport eleven hours later, pass a newspaper stand: ‘LA Burns to Ground.’ Holy shit. Did I leave a cigarette lit? How much are these? See if my picture’s in here, man. It’s literally the timing. And I’m over there in England, you know, trying to get news of the riots, you know, and all these Brit people are trying to sympathize with me: 
 
‘Oh Bill, crime is... horrible. Bill, if it’s any consolation, crime is horrible here too.’ 
‘Shut up. This is Hobbiton and I’m Bilbo Hicks, OK? This is the land of fairies and elves. You do not have crime like we have crime. I appreciate you tryin’ to be, you know, diplomatic but...’ 
 
You gotta see English crime, if only we had crime like this, you know. It’s hilarious. You don’t know if you’re reading the front page or the comic section over there. I swear to God. I read an article, front page of the paper one day in England: ‘Yesterday some hooligans knocked over a dustbin in Shaftsbury.’ 
 
‘Whoo-oo!’ 
‘The hooligans are loose, the hooligans are loose. What if they become ruffians? I would hate to be a dustbin in Shaftsbury tonight. (singing) No one knows what it’s like to be a dustbin... in Shaftsbury ... with hooligans.’ 
 
What the hell are you talking about? Hooligans, ruffians – speak English! It’s Crip, Blood. I mean, I’m sure it’s a serious thing, hooligans, but it just sounds stupid, doesn’t it? Picture a bunch of pale guys with penny loafers and no socks. 
 
(singing) ‘We’re the hooligans.’ (Pop! ) 
‘Hey you fucker, come here.’ 
‘Nope, got to catch us. You corner me, I might become a scallywag.’ 
 
You know, it’s— yeah. It doesn’t sound scary at all, does it? They have proper crime there. Yeah, I’d love to put the hooligans up against the Bloods in LA, that would be a... a short gang-battle. 
 
(singing) ‘We’re the hooligans.’ (Pop! ) 
(three gunshots) ‘Huh? Hoola something, I didn’t catch it all. Motherfucker danced up to me and patted me on the head. A pale motherfucker, look at that thing.’ 
 
It just wouldn’t be a long gang-battle. I’m bettin’ on the Bloods.
Credits
Bill Hicks

Bill Hicks

About “Hooligans” by Bill Hicks

Read the complete lyrics to "Hooligans" by Bill Hicks from the album "Arizona Bay". On Lyrks you can follow along with the full text, explore the artist's discography, and discover related songs. The track is often categorized under Non-Music, Comedy, Literature.

"Hooligans" is performed by Bill Hicks. from the album "Arizona Bay" This page provides the full lyric text for fans who want to sing along, study the songwriting, or compare versions across releases. Lyrks organizes lyrics by artist and song slug so you can bookmark and share a stable URL. Music lyrics help listeners connect with emotion, narrative, and rhythm in a track. Whether you are learning English, researching a favorite chorus, or preparing for karaoke, having accurate line breaks and section labels (verse, chorus, bridge) makes the experience easier. We link to the official artist profile on Lyrks where available, including biography snippets, top songs, and chart placements when we have that data. If you enjoy "Hooligans", explore more songs by Bill Hicks using the links below. Chart and trending pages on Lyrks highlight what listeners are searching for this week. For copyright or correction requests, see our DMCA and contact pages.

View all songs and biography for Bill Hicks · Trending lyrics · Billboard Hot 100

Frequently asked questions

"Hooligans" is credited to Bill Hicks. Songwriting credits may include additional writers listed on the release; check the credits section on this page for linked collaborators.

"Hooligans" appears on "Arizona Bay".

Visit the Bill Hicks artist page at /artist/bill-hicks for biography, popular tracks, and links to more lyric pages.

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