Lyrks
Lyrks
Sign In
Cover Art

Beer Bed Lyrics by Bill Sutton

Shake the Dust Off

0

It was the finest waterbed that megabucks could buy
Carved from solid ebony, it stood two meters high
It had every single option, and it came with scuba gear
But Joey made a boo-boo when he filled it full of beer

Oh, please don't bounce, my darling, you'll churn it into foam
I love it when you do that, but it makes the mattress groan
I can feel the pressure building and it's messing up my head
Those tremors that you're feeling aren't passion, they're the bed

Now Joey was a hardy man with but one poor desire
He needed him some women who could set his nights on fire
But Nature played him rotten; he could never be a stud
With the soul of Casanova in the bod of Elmer Fudd

The ladies thought him wonderful, quite charming and elite
And not a one would kiss him on the lips or on the cheek
The day that he'd made up his mind to be a monk instead
He walked into the store and saw that vision of a bed

Oh, please don't bounce, my darling, you'll churn it into foam
I love it when you do that, but it makes the mattress groan
I can feel the pressure building and it's messing up my head
Those tremors that you're feeling aren't passion, they're the bed

So Joey bought the mattress and he rubbed his hands with glee
"For surely this here waterbed will bring the chicks to me!"
But waterbeds are common and no longer make 'em swoon
They still thought he was charming and still stayed out of his room

So Joey had another thought: "To make my offer new
I'll drain out all the water and I'll fill the bed with brew
Then even if I don't get laid, at least I'll have a treat
To while away the hours while I lie and beat my...head against the wall."

Oh, please don't bounce, my darling, you'll churn it into foam
I love it when you do that, but it makes the mattress groan
I can feel the pressure building and it's messing up my head
Those tremors that you're feeling aren't passion, they're the bed

The bed was now an item and Joe finally hit on one
Who said, "Sure, I'll come home with you for beer and sex and fun!"
It stunned him into silence, for he'd never heard a "Yes"
He knew he'd hit the jackpot when she started to undress

He just could not contain himself; he leapt upon the bed
They bounced and rolled and tumbled from the foot up to the head
The mattress churned and rumbled, but the action didn't stop
Till Joey gave a shudder and the mattress blew its top

Oh, please don't bounce, my darling, you'll churn it into foam
I love it when you do that, but it makes the mattress groan
I can feel the pressure building and it's messing up my head
Those tremors that you're feeling aren't passion, they're the bed

The force of the explosion blew the windows out for miles
The only thing they found was her, and she could only smile
And as for Joe, we hope he's in a fine and pleasant place
Despoiling alien women as he rides his bed through space

Oh, please don't bounce, my darling, you'll churn it into foam
I love it when you do that, but it makes the mattress groan
I can feel the pressure building and it's messing up my head
Those tremors that you're feeling aren't passion, they're the bed
Credits
Bill Sutton

Bill Sutton

About “Beer Bed” by Bill Sutton

Read the complete lyrics to "Beer Bed" by Bill Sutton from the album "Shake the Dust Off". On Lyrks you can follow along with the full text, explore the artist's discography, and discover related songs. The track is often categorized under Filk, Pop.

"Beer Bed" is performed by Bill Sutton. from the album "Shake the Dust Off" This page provides the full lyric text for fans who want to sing along, study the songwriting, or compare versions across releases. Lyrks organizes lyrics by artist and song slug so you can bookmark and share a stable URL. Music lyrics help listeners connect with emotion, narrative, and rhythm in a track. Whether you are learning English, researching a favorite chorus, or preparing for karaoke, having accurate line breaks and section labels (verse, chorus, bridge) makes the experience easier. We link to the official artist profile on Lyrks where available, including biography snippets, top songs, and chart placements when we have that data. If you enjoy "Beer Bed", explore more songs by Bill Sutton using the links below. Chart and trending pages on Lyrks highlight what listeners are searching for this week. For copyright or correction requests, see our DMCA and contact pages.

View all songs and biography for Bill Sutton · Trending lyrics · Billboard Hot 100

Frequently asked questions

"Beer Bed" is credited to Bill Sutton. Songwriting credits may include additional writers listed on the release; check the credits section on this page for linked collaborators.

"Beer Bed" appears on "Shake the Dust Off".

Visit the Bill Sutton artist page at /artist/bill-sutton for biography, popular tracks, and links to more lyric pages.

Dust on My Feet
Cruiser Dreaming
Bask Ye Samplers
Cobra
Crystal SInger
Another History
Caretakers
Do It Yourself
Lyrks
Lyrks

Your gateway to the world of music lyrics.

Product

Features

Company

About

Artists

Trending

Legal

Privacy

Terms

Copyright

Support

Contact

Features

Charts

© 2026 Lyrks. All rights reserved.