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D.I.V.O.R.C.E. Lyrics by Billy Connolly

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Our little dog is six years old, and he's smart as any damn kid
But when you mention the V.E.T. he damn near flips his lid
Words like S.H.O.T. shot or W.O.R.M. worm
These are words which make him S.Q.U.I.R.M. squirm
His Q.U.A.R.A.N.T.I.N.E starts today
Because he bit the V.E.T. and then he ran away
He caused me and my wife to have a big fight, and then, both of them bit me
And that's why I am gonnae get a D.I.V.O.R.C.E

She shouted "get him Rover," and he jumped over, and bit my L.E.G
She sank her teeth in my B.U.M. and called me an effin C
Well I'm telling you, that was my cue, to get O.F.F.-ski
And I'm going down to the town tonight to get a new B.I.R.D

Oh yes his Q.U.A.R.A.N.T.I.N.E starts today
Both my wife and my wee scabby dug will soon be hauled away
That's why I spell out all these words, so as my dog can't hear
Oh I must admit that dog is acting Q.U.E.R. queer

Oh, I must admit that dog is acting Q.U.E.R. queer

About “D.I.V.O.R.C.E.” by Billy Connolly

Read the complete lyrics to "D.I.V.O.R.C.E." by Billy Connolly. On Lyrks you can follow along with the full text, explore the artist's discography, and discover related songs. The track is often categorized under Pop.

"D.I.V.O.R.C.E." is performed by Billy Connolly. This page provides the full lyric text for fans who want to sing along, study the songwriting, or compare versions across releases. Lyrks organizes lyrics by artist and song slug so you can bookmark and share a stable URL. Music lyrics help listeners connect with emotion, narrative, and rhythm in a track. Whether you are learning English, researching a favorite chorus, or preparing for karaoke, having accurate line breaks and section labels (verse, chorus, bridge) makes the experience easier. We link to the official artist profile on Lyrks where available, including biography snippets, top songs, and chart placements when we have that data. If you enjoy "D.I.V.O.R.C.E.", explore more songs by Billy Connolly using the links below. Chart and trending pages on Lyrks highlight what listeners are searching for this week. For copyright or correction requests, see our DMCA and contact pages.

View all songs and biography for Billy Connolly · Trending lyrics · Billboard Hot 100

Frequently asked questions

"D.I.V.O.R.C.E." is credited to Billy Connolly. Songwriting credits may include additional writers listed on the release; check the credits section on this page for linked collaborators.

Album information for "D.I.V.O.R.C.E." is not available in our database yet. You can still read the full lyrics on this page.

Visit the Billy Connolly artist page at /artist/billy-connolly for biography, popular tracks, and links to more lyric pages.


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