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Saturday Night Live Monologue Lyrics by Ariana Grande

2024

[Intro]
Ladies and gentlemen, Ariana Grande
[Spoken Word: Ariana Grande]
Thank you, thank you
Thank you so much, I'm so happy to be back hosting SNL
This year has been truly amazing
I got to play Galinda
Which is awesome because, you know, I'm such a theater kid
And it's every theater kid's dream to either play Galinda or Elpheba
Well, it's every theater kid's dream to lose their virginity
But their second dream is, of course, to be in wicked
But it's so amazing to be here
The last time I hosted was in 2016
And we wеre right on the vergе of electing our first female president
So I guess second time's the charm, right?
But before I start, I just wanna make one thing clear tonight
I am just hosting
I'm— no, I-I'm not gonna make this about me
I'm just gonna have fun, take it easy, and, yeah
I'm just gonna keep it low-key
Oh, what's this?
No, thank you
Oh, fuck
[Verse 1: Ariana Grande]
I'm gonna keep it low-key tonight
Promise I'm not gonna sing
I'm not gonna sing my favorite notes
Not C, D, B, A, or G
I'm not gonna do my impressions
No Britney Spears today
If you ask me again, I'll say the same thing
Oh, no, baby, baby
I'm not gonna do Miley Cyrus
'Cause, baby, that ain't gonna work
I'm not gonna do Gwen Stefani 'cause
Don't think that, promise I'm not singin' any new impressions
I won't sing because it hurts
I'm not gonna wink at my camera
I promise I won't do a lift, thank you so much
And I'm not gonna talk about wicked
'Cause, tonight, I don't give a—
[Interlude: Ariana Grande & Bowen Yang]
Bowen, wha— didn't anybody tell you?
Tell me what?
We cut the Wicked sketch
Oh, um, that's okay, I didn't wanna do it anyway
Great, and this isn't a wand
It's a flask
[Verse 2: Ariana Grande]
So keep the piano far away from me
'Cause the last thing I'm gonna do
Is modulate the key
I'm not gonna do a duet tonight
So please don't bring out Stevie Nicks
Worth a shot
And, yeah, the last thing I'm gonna do
Is bring out some hot dancers
To do some insanely high kicks
Come on, ladies— oh my God, you're so tall
I'm actually really shy
No more crazy runs, no more tricks, no vocal flips
Can't you see that I'm just so
Either way, this much is clear
If you're looking for a diva
Don't look over here
'Cause tonight, I'm keeping it low-key
[Outro: Ariana Grande]
We've got a great show for you tonight, Stevie Nicks is here
Stick around, we'll be right back
Credits
Ariana Grande

Ariana Grande

About “Saturday Night Live Monologue” by Ariana Grande

Read the complete lyrics to "Saturday Night Live Monologue" by Ariana Grande in 2024. On Lyrks you can follow along with the full text, explore the artist's discography, and discover related songs. The track is often categorized under Non-Music, Monologue.

"Saturday Night Live Monologue" is performed by Ariana Grande. in 2024 This page provides the full lyric text for fans who want to sing along, study the songwriting, or compare versions across releases. Lyrks organizes lyrics by artist and song slug so you can bookmark and share a stable URL. Music lyrics help listeners connect with emotion, narrative, and rhythm in a track. Whether you are learning English, researching a favorite chorus, or preparing for karaoke, having accurate line breaks and section labels (verse, chorus, bridge) makes the experience easier. We link to the official artist profile on Lyrks where available, including biography snippets, top songs, and chart placements when we have that data. If you enjoy "Saturday Night Live Monologue", explore more songs by Ariana Grande using the links below. Chart and trending pages on Lyrks highlight what listeners are searching for this week. For copyright or correction requests, see our DMCA and contact pages.

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"Saturday Night Live Monologue" is credited to Ariana Grande. Songwriting credits may include additional writers listed on the release; check the credits section on this page for linked collaborators.

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Visit the Ariana Grande artist page at /artist/ariana-grande for biography, popular tracks, and links to more lyric pages.