[Verse 1]
Just got on the phone with my homie Danny
He’s sounding pretty proud about my show this last week
Said, "Bro you’re on the road to being global and we
See you doin shit I dream of but don’t seem happy
What the fuck is up with that man?
Should be pouring up a double cup of the lean
Pop a bean, live the dream or least celebrate, entertain the thought"
But do I really want the fame or not? Cause sometimes
I’ve been snortin Farrah Fawcett
I’ve been smoking marijuana
Yea I got a girl sometimes
I act like I don’t care about her
Eh-aye, and that ain’t me, a trapped soul, you can ask jp
And that makes me question what my dad told me at 18
Because he told me I would be something, that ain’t free
I’m lost in this world cause I search for the answers
That usually are right there in front of me
Like why I’m wondering why I must succeed
When I know dozens of loved ones look up to me
Eh-aye, and that’s a lot to measure up to
Confused, battling depression
Momma battling her sickness, and she has too many tremors
And I feel like I’m at fault, cause I’m cracking under pressure
I just wanna see my family together
But that could never happen cause we never put our passion over pleasure
I just hope that I’ll look back and say, "This chapter was a mess
But no it couldn’t have happened any better"
Oh, and oh god, do I even know god?
I just hope that all my soul searchers, know their purpose, this is yo song, sing it
[Chorus]
I’ve been trynna find myself
Cause I feel like
I don’t know who I am right now
(I've been ageing, rearranging, facing change)
I’ve been trynna find myself
Cause I feel like
I don’t know who I am right now
[Verse 2]
Dropped out of school for the time being
Everybody judging but I did it for the right reasons
I see em criticize, are they wise even?
I feel like I’m alive when I’m mind reading
My phoenix on the rise, I'm a light beaming
Life is a drive full of dry heaves and sightseeing
My demons do not like when I try to remind
Them that I’m gonna fight or that I’m healing
I don’t know what I’m believing in
I was told as a toddler, “Be devoted and righteous”
Here’s a quote from my paps, he said “Jehovah’s your god”
Said, “ I don’t know if I want this”
(I don't know if I want..)
Now there’s holes in my conscience, never hoped in a doctrine
Been atonin for my sins, feel alone and psychotic
Yea and here’s a confession, I got a fear of rejection
I’m way too overly cautious, I don’t know how to stop it
Runnin' away from problems, problems
Tuck em away and they are not resolved, never
Wanted the ways of my father, father
It's something ingrained but can I change the shit?
I’ve been in and out of these relationships
I get unfaithful when right when they commit
I tell em, “Baby listen, I got some thangs I did
But it’s ok I’m dippin”, fuck all the pain I’m in
[Chorus]
I’ve been trynna find myself
Cause I feel like
I don’t know who I am right now
(I've been ageing, rearranging, facing change)
I’ve been trynna find myself
Cause I feel like
I don’t know who I am right now
[Outro]
She asked me if I wanna fly to jupiter, jupiter
If I wanna fly to jupiter, jupiter
She asked me if I wanna fly to jupiter, jupiter
If I wanna fly to jupiter, jupiter
She asked me if I wanna fly to jupiter, jupiter
If I wanna fly to jupiter, jupiter
She asked me if I wanna fly to jupiter, jupiter
If I wanna fly to jupiter, jupiter
