[ENSAMBLE]
Page eight, at the top
Page eight, at the top
Page eight, at the top
Page eight, at the top
(Page eight, at the top)
Page eight, at the top
(Page eight, at the top)
Dear Miss Mitchell
[1st WOMAN, spoken]
Dear Miss Mitchell
[1st MAN]
Four years ago, I was fired out of my job
And I haven't been able to get another one since
[1st WOMAN]
At first, I was sore at the government
[2nd WOMAN]
'Cause it's on account of all the slimy politics here
That we got all this unemployment
But in looking around
[1st WOMAN]
It seems the whole world is going to pot
[1st MAN]
So in protest, on Christmas Eve
[1st MAN, 1st WOMAN, 2nd WOMAN]
I'm going to commit suicide by jumping of a New York bridge?
[1st WOMAN]
- A tall one!
[ENSEMBLE]
Signed
(Signed)
Signed
(Signed)
A disgusted American citizen
[1st WOMAN]
John Doe
[HENRY CONNELL, spoken]
John Doe?
*Phone Rings*
Connell?
Yes, Mr. Mayor I-
No sir, I-
[CONNELL, sung]
Listen Mr. Mayor, yes the Brooklyn Bridge
Now you don't have to curse
Beady!
You know I won't pull the paper
And besides we've called your honor worse
Beady, now!
Freedom of the Press, it's in the bill of rights
Hell, I wouldn't do it, I'm afraid of heights
Find Ms. Mitchell, bring her to me in a cab or better yet a Hearse
[ENSEMBLE]
The New American Times
The New American Times
The New American Times
The New American Times
[CONNELL]
*Phone Rings*
Certainly, Mrs. Pendergrass, I have my people looking for him now
Your foundation voted and his death is something you will not allow?
*Phone Rings*
Every truck is empty, you mean every route?
You don't mean the whole edition's selling out!
I'll be damned! - Oh, sorry madam, print another couple thou'
[ENSEMBLE]
The New American Times
The New American Times
The New American Times
The New American Times
[CONNELL]
*Phone Rings*
Yes! You what - hang on a minute
*Phone Rings*
Yes, that's right, a bridge he said
*Phone Rings*
Yes? We're low on ink? So thin it!
*Phone Rings*
Yes! More ads? Good! Add a spread
*Phone Rings*
Yes, you know, put water in it
Who says print is dead?
[ENSEMBLE]
The New American Times
(The New American Times)
[CONNELL]
Where the hell is Mitchell, Beany?
She has information that we need
[BEANY]
Called her place eleven times
Her super hasn't seen her in the hall
[CONNELL]
Get a private eye or call a psychic
Anything to get a lead
[BEANY]
Bright and I had better check the hospitals and give the morgue a call
[CONNELL, BEANY]
When she's here my head and brain begin to hurt
(Who?)
Basically, the girls a migraine in a skirt
(True)
But we need that Anne to find the man
That New York City wants to read
[ENSEMBLE]
The New American Times
(The New American Times)
More!
[CONNELL, ENSEMBLE]
*Phone Rings*
Yes sergeant, she was wearing-
(John!)
*Phone Rings*
Last words? Well, I don't know
(Doe!)
Brown hair and over-bearing
(John!)
How 'bout, 'Look out below!'
(Doe)
Now Mayor, stop the swearing!
(More, More, More John Doe)
[BEANY, spoken]
Still no word, Sir
[CONNELL, spoken]
Alright, put this in the front page box;
[CONNELL, BEANY, sung]
Mr Doe, we know that life is difficult and full of many woes
(Difficult and full of many woes)
Life has been unfair to you as everyone who read your letter knows
(Everyone who read your letter knows)
If you need a job, I'll give you one today
(Today!)
Come on in and everything will be okay!
(Okay!)
Get that in the final run before the Mayor's coronary blows!
[ENSEMBLE]
This guy's the genuine article
It's like he's in my head
He said what should be said
This guy's the genuine article
He's just like me
Well, what I'd like to be!
Mr Doe, we know that life is difficult and full of many woes
(Mr Doe, we know that life is difficult and full of many woes)
Life has been unfair to you as everyone who read your letter knows
(Life has been unfair to you as everyone who read your letter knows)
[CONNOLLY, BEANY, ENSEMBLE)
Every drop of ink we had this morning's gone!
(More!)
As is any paper we could put it on!
(More!)
Thirty years in papers and I finally learn
That all you need to sell 'em
Is a letter from a sympathetic, suicidal man!
[ENSEMBLE, CONNOLLY, BEANY]
This guy's the genuine article
It's like he's in my head
(The New American Times)
He said what should be said
(The New American Times)
This guy's the genuine article
(The New American Times)
He's just like me
(The Mayor)
Well, what I'd like to be!
[ENSEMBLE]
Mr Doe, we know that life is difficult and full of many woes
(Mr Doe, we know that life is difficult and full of many woes)
(Mr Doe, we know that life is difficult and full of many woes)
(Mr Doe, we know that life is difficult and full of many woes)
Life has been unfair to you as everyone who read your letter knows
(Life has been unfair to you as everyone who read your letter knows)
(Life has been unfair to you as everyone who read your letter knows)(Life has been unfair to you as everyone who read your letter knows)
[CONNOLLY, BEANY, ENSEMBLE]
Here's another, see if you can catch the trucks
(More!)
I bet I could sell it for a couple bucks
(More!)
Thank you Mr. Norton
Well you said you wanted circulation
Get it to me by tomorrow or I'll print on toilet paper
Tell the guys in advertising triple rates and new accounts
And if the Mayor calls again I've got a case of Laryngitis
Thirty years in papers and I finally learn
That all you need to sell 'em
Is a letter from a sympathetic, suicidal man!
(The New American Times!)
[ANNE MITCHELL]
Lookin' for me?
