*Ramona types on her computer while an old record is playing*
*There's a knock on the door*
[Ramona, Devyn]
Come in.
*Devyn opens the door*
Hi.
Hi there!
...Hi.
Who... are you?
Uh... I'm Devyn. Devyn Smith.
Devyn... Smith...
Um, I uh... believe we- have an appointment- scheduled f-
Okay. Come on in and have a seat.
Okay.
Great. Just close the door behind you.
Okay.
Okay, great, thank you.
*Devyn closes the door*
Alright, um... Devyn Smith... you said?
Yeah. I'm sorry. Um, I- I could just, uh- sit down... here...?
Of course, of coursе. Make yourself at home.
Thank you.
My plеasure! Um, just give me a minute to look you up in the computer, m'kay?
Okay.
Alright... Let's see here... Devyn S- Oh my god, I am so sorry. We have- an introductory appointment scheduled for right now.
*Devyn laughs*
I am so unprepared, I-
It's- it's okay!
Oh my g-
No, thank you.
It's not-
No problem!
It's- No, this is a problem. This is very unprofessional of me, I'm sorry.
It's really okay! Um... I was just worried I had the wrong place, honestly!
*Ramona laughs*
Um... and we've never met- or anything... um...
That's right! You're Maebelle's brother!
I am Maebelle's brother!
Oh my god, yes! She and I have been speaking... and... this appointment completely slipped my mind. Again, I'm sorry for that.
S'okay.
And- I- I'm very pleased to meet you!
I'm pleased to meet you, too! Uh- Ramona, right?
In all my living glory, baby!
*Devyn chuckles*
Hey, before we get started, I just wanna let you know that your sister is a beautiful and amazing human being.
Aw.
And you are a very lucky young man, to be her brother.
Oh, I agree, thank you. Yeah, um... she- set all of this up for me. I didn't really have to do anything. It feels like... less than a half hour ago, I was- sitting around in North Carolina just thinking "What the fuck- am I doing with my life", y'know?
Yeah, sometimes it can be- really overwhelming how quickly these things come together.
Yeah.
Um...
Hey, is uh... This... is uh... w- what do you call it? Wha- I've never seen one before, in real life.
Hmm? What?
With the... It- it's a grammophone, right?
Oh. Oh n-
With the horn-
Maybe. I dunno, it's just a regular- record player as far as I know.
...Oh.
The horn is plastic, I picked it up from Walmart.
Oh.
It's got Bluetooth, so I can play Spotify off my phone, but I like to- throw a record on every now and again, y'know? And it's- it's-
...Yeah.
Vintage style, it's...
Y-
...Yeah
Um... um, are you really into vinyl records?
No, not in particular. Um, I don't collect them- or anything. I mostly enjoy the ambience of the hiss and the crackling of their like... dirty and warped... And it's like s- space dust.
...That's very interesting.
Yeah... uh-
Well... okay, so for professionalism's sake, I have a whole spiel-
*Devyn laughs nervously*
that we can get out the way, if you're ready.
Um... I'm ready for your spiel... Ramona.
Yeah?
Yeah.
Okay. So, as you already know, my name is Ramona DeMith. I am the woman behind the, as of now, one woman show of Pupilla Talent Agency, which- I assure you is a much more tightly run organization than my behavior thus far today may have proven.
Oh. No, I- I- I trust you. Y- you got a really cool record player.
*They both laugh*
*In a posh accent* Thank you, darling.
Sure thing!
Anyway, as you can see, I have been immensely busy and one of the reasons for this actually is the recent surge in popularity of my latest client, who you may be familiar with: The American rapper, songwriter, and actress, Cardi B.
Oh! Uh... Wet- Ass Pussy! *snaps fingers*
You got it! She is a wonderful woman. She's been an absolute pleasure to work with. But-
Wow.
Yeah, it's been taking up a lot of mental energy for me lately.
I imagine.
Seriously, it's unreal. It's literally unreal. But- y'know what they say. Beggars can't be choosers. Eh?
Y- yeah.
Am I right?
Yeah.
That's right. In addition, I represent Brit Marling, American actress and screenwriter, Christine Quinn, American actress, Naomi Watts, British actress and film producer, and Thora Birch. So- my- hands are actually quite full right now and under normal circumstances, I would not be taking on additional clientele. But...
But...?
But you're Maebelle's brother, so...
*They both laugh*
Oh, thank you, Maebelle!
Yeah, oh my god, I'd do anything for that girl.
Yeah?
Me and her go way back. I love her, she's like- family- to me, so...
That's cool.
You're family!
Well, thank you! Uh-
You're welcome! You're my little man.
Cool. Wha-?
You're gonna be my little man.
Uh- uh- okay!
Alright, okay, so I'm- looking at this email, right now, from Maebelle and... um... okay, so there's- RateYourMusic?
Uh... oh...
What? Uh oh?
Um, I dunno if- uh- What are you looking at?
Oh, she sent me two links. One is called... Coin locker kid- and... the other is called C'est la key. Are these um... are these your music projects?
Eh, Kind- kind of. Uh... I got another project called Come look with me- as well.
M'kay.
But people- don't really- even know wh- I- I mean, it's all- it's one project, but e- I mean it's- it's not- it's not r- really about- m- music. Um...
Are you- are you a musician?
Um...
You don't like music...?
I love music.
Because this is actually very interesting, I was just texting with Cardi B the other day, and she's ready.
...She's ready?
She's ready to keep the world on their feet. 300 million plus views on YouTube, dominating the Billboard Top 100 for months now, think pieces all over the net analyzing everything from the modern empowerment of women of color, which is- obviously a conversation near and dear to- my heart...
Definitely.
Body positivity, sex positivity, subversive and- possibly occult symbolism in the music video. Everywhere her name pops up, a boundary is broken. You understand what I'm saying?
Yeah. Yeah, I understand.
She is a very successful act right now and- part of my job is to keep this momentum going.
...Okay.
Yes, and- we figure the logical next step- is to go into something a bit more... abstract.
Eh... WAP... is very a- abstract.
Mm hmm.
It's haunting... the... the lower frequencies and the... th- the vocal- sample-
Y'know what? Let's- uh- just come back- to this... um...
Okay.
Uh, okay. Now, I'm looking on the C'est la key RateYourMusic page and- I'm seeing the genres section. It says "Radio Drama", "Field Recordings", "Experimental".
Yeah.
Yeah! That's right. Can you explain to me what a radio drama is?
I don't really know- what a radio- drama is. I think that's like Orson Welles adapting War of the Worlds in the 1930's- or whatever. I didn't wake up one day and say "I'm gonna do a radio drama." They called it that... on that website.
Mm hmm.
Uh, C'est la key- isn't even on the radio.
...Okay.
Eh, I mean, I guess the internet- I guess it's all- electromagnetic- waves- passing through us forever and ever...
Um...
...And ever. Cosmic microwaves and background noise...
Okay, s-
Yeah, but uh- it's not me, it's um... it's people on the internet. And it's not even the internet, it's just- one website. And I don't even know- why I care- It's embarrassing how fragile my- ego is and um- I know I shouldn't complain. It's really nice to have the work acknowledged, but it- it- it's pretty frustrating- that you're looking at that website and it's not what I'm- trying to do, y'know? People are talking about rapping and hip hop samples or- me being self-pitying or- that it's all about failure, wanting to be recognized on artistic terms or- uh, even if it- it- racism or toxic- masculinity being really violent. And the erotic- trauma- whatever American- pain, I mean obviously- those elements are there but it's inevitably reductionist. It's a projection on the part of the- artist on the- part of the... uh, audience that it- it doesn't- it doesn't convey... Uh...
...Yeah? It doesn't convey...?
Yes?
*Devyn chuckles*
I'm sorry. I'm sorry, oh my god.
What?
I'm really sorry, this isn't good. I'm sounding exactly like a CLK project right now.
That's... Coin locker kid? Then-
Uh- I mean yeah, but- but- I mean it's all of them- really. Like I said, there's- it's CLK, there's three projects, or parts.
Mm hmm.
But it- but it's one big story and- and they all have those letters, but- in this case, I guess- more specifically- I'm talking about the- C'est la key- projects because we're- y'know, we're just sittin' here, talking, and I'm having this characteristic- for me- characteristic existential- breakdown. Which- happens in- everything I do really, because I guess- I just have this- fascination with watching things- come apart! Or unravel. But um- but I didn't come here- to- do that- or do- this... again. So um, I'm sorry- because I- I didn't- I didn't commute it- to you- but-
Um... well- it's- it's okay.
I'm sorry.
It's okay. I think I'm following you. So wha- but, what is it- that you- came here for?
Came... to... LA...
...to Hollywood.
Came to Hollywood... Um- I th- I think I need a job!
Mm hmm?
Right, somebody got fired... this is uh... this is the only thing I- can do. Or that I wanna do... I think.
And what's that... exactly?
Um... being creative, performing- which is- anything, anything creative- artistic. Um- using my talent, my skillset to live... to- earn a living. A career that's more in line with- my artistic values.
M'kay. So you decided to- come to Hollywood...
Yeah... no... I dunno. I didn't- think I'm really good at sound design. I'm self-taught. I mean- I don't know how to use- Pro Tools or any audio software or whatever, but I can learn if I have to. I just figure, y'know, I could work for- movies, television... even music. Like- like Cardi- B, uh...
Mm hmm, mm hmm.
Or I mean, I dunno, musicians record in the studio for radio. I mean I dunno how the pandemic has affected any of that, and- Holy shit, I'm sorry, should I be- wearing a mask right now...? You're not wearing a...
You're good. Um...
Actually, I haven't seen anyone wearing a mask since I got here...
Look, honey, honey, I don't think I need to tell you this, but I will: Everyone is always wearing a mask. Especially in a place like this.
Heh heh, yeah. Well... uh- okay. Cool. Well anyway, yeah, I- I dunno, I figured that um... with you being a- talent agent and everything, that you could- help me... with my foot- in the door- and whatever...
Okay. Okay. Alright, look, so... yeah, that's my job. Let's see, based on everything you've just told me... maybe... Y'know, there's uh, there's a lot of uh, influencers working in a kinda multimedia- sort of- Actually, there's one in particular- that kinda DJs- sort of tastemaker with music and other things. He's doing a kinda- DIY, podcast- thing? But he's really blowing up right now and his team have actually been reaching out on social media to various- sound engineers and videographers, and basically just- y'know, really trying to up the production value of his show and capitalize on the momentum he's gathering.
...Okay.
Yeah.
M'kay.
Yeah, I think he might be a good fit for what you're talking about. And actually, I think he's got a style that might really suit you. I can definitely hit him up, put you in touch with somebody.
Wow, th- that sounds pretty good! I can- I can do some work- there. Um... what's his- what's his name?
*The old record in the background suddenly stops playing*
DJ Flabbergagger.
...
...What?
I know, right? DJ Flabbergagger, the- it's- it's some... internet shit.
Flabbergagger...
*The record starts playing again but keeps repeating a segment*
Y'know, memes or something. Y'know, kids...
No. Uh uh. No.
What?
No, that's a C'est la key- thing. I- I came up with Flabbergagger, that's a C'est la key thing.
...Hmm?
W- well, I didn't come up with it. My uh, former- bosses' older- son came up with it when I- asked him- one time what chaos meant. It's- I literally have it on record- on um- the C'est la key Bandcamp, on a project called The Midwife, which- nobody- seems to- take seriously. Or- well at least on the one website that takes me seriously, nobody takes it seriously. Presumably because it ain't got no beats.
Um...
A- Although, I guess maybe it doesn't sound good- or um... it's hard to follow, because it's- so personal and like, uh... if you don't pay attention to the details, like my relationship with my mother... then it won't mean anything. But um- anyway like, Flabbergagger is like, code- for chaos throughout all the C'est la key projects. It's like a sort of... y- um- actually, The Midwife, by the way, is an example of what they call a "field recording". Even though it wasn't actually recorded in a field. It was- recorded in a field. Er- some of it was recorded in a field. Uh- at the farm- where I work- where I used to- work. I'm sorry, I'm really digressing.
Um... Devyn. Um, I can show you DJ Flabbergagger's Instagram, if-
I don't- I don't wanna see DJ Flabbergagger's Instagram, that's not good. This is- that's a bad- that is a bad fuckin' sign. Wha- It's like- what? Right, what's going on here? This j- like a fuckin' C'est la key project, but- but it's not like a C'est la key project because we- we've been talking for almost 15 minutes. You gotta- and- you gotta condense everything if you- if you wanna put out into the world. Motherfuckers won't- goddamn- fucked to listen to it. Um... I'm spiraling. I'm like- I'm spiraling inwards. This is li- this is like involution.
Um... it's okay.
Getting kinda anxious, I'm so sorry.
Devyn, what's- what's involution?
Involution, it's- it's kinda hard to explain, or rather I'm not really smart enough to explain it coherently. But it's this word, um- I first came upon it in relation to uh, Vladimir- Nabokov's work, reading- y'know- him?
Yes.
*A choral chant starts playing and gets louder over the course of Devyn's monolgue*
Yeah, yeah. So um, he's probably my favorite author. I know that's really- problematic but, anyway it was used by this guy- to describe uh, Nabokov's writing style. But it's like, an actual word in mathematics, philosophy, and- even medicine. It's- it's about complicated ways of turning inwards...? Basically? Specifically, there's a kinda mystic, philosopher person, uh- Gurdjieff- I think that's how you pronounce his name. I find him really interesting. I- I dunno that much about him, he's probably also very problematic. Y'know, just another- fuckin' dude saying stuff. But anyway, I think he used it to describe like- the- descent of the one... everything- that's God- the Big Bang- into this sort of...
*another recording of Devyn says "density"*
density. Y'know, like entropy? This constant expansion, everything just ripping apart, becoming more and more fragmented copies...
Devyn...? Devyn...
*The last few lines from Devyn are echoed by other recordings of him*
of copies... of copies... degradation... degradation-
Devyn! Devyn.
*The record stops again*
I'm- I'm sorry, Ramona. I keep on digressing. I keep on digressing.
It's okay, baby. It's okay, baby.
I really need your... help, I think. I'm- I k- I keep- My- uh...
It's okay.
I c- I gotta get this out of me- right?
Yes...
I gotta get it out. It's something inside of me.
Yes...
And I- I can't- keep- doing this. I'm gonna get- this fu-
*Devyn gags*
It's okay, baby.
Need... help...
M'kay.
Please...
Devyn? Yes, yes. That's what I'm here to do.
...Okay.
Okay... Breathe softly.
Okay. *He takes slow breaths*
*The old record is heard faintly again for a few seconds*
...That's right. Just like that...
Okay so, just to be clear... you... don't... want to work... on DJ Flabbergagger's show...
Oh- no, I don't think so. And I- I don't really like that- influencer stuff anyway. I mean it's funny like- Fyre Festival and- who's ever in the phenomenon, I think can provide some very interesting insight into the development of the- modern, Western, or- or perhaps global psyche in a post-industrial, uh- hyper-capitalist environment. But I don't even wanna- I don't wanna go- on his show, no. No, I don't.
Okay, alright. Got it! Done. Done deal.
M'kay.
Um... so, how would you feel about working on my show?
...What?
How would you feel- about working on- my show, or... I should say rather, being in- my- show.
Um... you have a show?
Yeah, I have a show. I told you I have a show, weren't you listening? I have my very own one woman show. That means I'm the star. But my casting couch... extends all the way to you. And you can be on it.
I- Look, I- I don't think I understand what you're saying, Ramona...
You don't have to understand what I'm saying, Devyn. This isn't even about you understanding what I'm saying, this isn't even about you. This is about seizing an opportunity, a once in a lifetime opportunity, to become a star.
Um... Uh, what am I supposed to say?
What, do you need some help? Look, honey... it takes a very specific type of person to make it in a place like this. Many people who come here disappear without a trace. Before they even get a chance to try. Right here, right now, I'm offering you a main line straight to the beating heart of this world and I'm offering it up on a silver platter. Are you feeling hungry... Devyn?
I'm sorry, Ramona, I think... um...
Hmm?
I think this is- this is- all making me a little- uncomfortable-
Devyn, Devyn, that's good, that's a good thing! You should feel uncomfortable, that just means you're human. It is so perfectly, imperfectly human to feel uncomfortable with the truly unknowable unknown.
...
Ramona...
Look, Devyn. Look, see here? I'm- I'm just gonna... like-
*Ramona pushes everything off her desk*
Wha- what are you doing-
Now everything is off the table. It's all off the table. This is a safe space.
I need to go... I think I should go.
Oh no, Devyn, don't go. Please don't go. Where are you gonna go? I thought this is what you wanted. A clean slate.
Um...
This could be your big break!
...I don't think this is what I wanted at all- I- I don't think I was thinkin'- clearly, this is stupid.
Stupid?
I'm sorry, I need to...
You need to face your fears, how can you know if you haven't even tried?
*Ramona gets on top of her desk*
Excuse me, what- are you doing right- now...
Is it really that hard to tell? Or is it just too "abstract"?
I'm feeling very uncomfortable right now.
*Something is unzipped*
Here I am, Devyn! Offering myself to you! Every piece of me! Help me help you- STOP FUCKIN' AROUND AND TAKE IT!
I have a girlfriend and a life!
FUCK YOUR GIRLFRIEND AND FUCK YOUR LIFE!
Jesus Fucking Christ...
DO IT! START NOW!
SHUT THE FUCK UP!
START FRESH! BE BORN AGAIN!
PUT YOUR FUCKING CLOTHES BACK ON AND GET THE FUCK OFF THE GODDAMN TABLE!
*Ramona howls with laughter*
Oh my god!
Fuck...
*Ramona starts walking to Devyn*
Oh my god...
Go away...
Sorry, I had a little panic attack.
Go away, go away, go away, go away, go away, go away-
Don't do it. Don't descend into the entropy of your dying self.
Go away, go away, go away-
Spiral into me instead, baby.
Go away, go away, go away, go away, go- away-
Spiral into my big,
black
HOLE...
*A bone snaps*
FUCK!
Holy shit...
AAAAAAHH!
Damn... are you okay?
*Ramona walks back to her desk*
Yeah... yeah, uh, I...
Oh my god! That sounded like something broke!
...Maybe.
Do you need me to call an ambulance or something?
No... no, I- I think it'll be okay. I... M- maybe my chiropractor...
Chiropractor?!
Yeah, yeah, if you could just- hand me my phone- It's on the floor.
Oh. Yeah, sure.
Thank you.
*Devyn goes through the objects on the floor for a second*
Here you go.
Thank you.
Yeah. Um... so- you know th- the farm where I used to work?
Mm hmm?
*She starts dialing a number*
Yeah, my other former boss- y'know, she's really intelligent- about this kind of stuff, like proper ways that you can- move your body so- to avoid- this whatever...
Yeah...
*The phone starts ringing*
Are- are you- are you sure- that um, we shouldn't be calling an ambulance- right now? That sounded pretty serious.
Yeah. It's- it- it- it's okay. And I'm fine. Um... my- chiropractor... I trust him with my life. I mean really, he's an angel.
