You Can’t Have Me (If You Don’t Have Him) Lyrics by Christian Borle, J. Harrison Ghee, Original Broadway Cast of Some Like It Hot
Some Like It Hot (Original Broadway Cast Recording)
2023
[JOE] My folks were small-time grifters Yeah, and counterfeiters, too They never did the kind of things That most kids' parents do Most fathers make a living Keepin' books or pushing broom But mom and dad made homemade dough Right in our living room! But when the heat got too intense They took it on the lam My father left a note that said "Be better than I am!" Then Jerry's clan across the hall Stepped in to save the day They took me in and raised me right And that is why I say That he's the needle, I'm the thread He's the butter, I'm the bread He's the fruit and I'm the peel He's Achilles, I'm the heel Yeah, he's my brother through and through Like the Marx, the Wrights, the Grimm! Yeah, you can't have "tea" without the "two" And you can't have me if you don't have him! [MACK, spoken] Alright, back to work! [JOE, spoken] But don't you wanna hear Jerry's half of the story? [JERRY, spoken] Gotta give the people what they want! (sung) My folks were in a business, too The business we call show The house was full of hoofers We were strictly S.R.O. They taught me every time step Then I shuffled off to school But on the south side of Chicago No one loved this dancin' fool! The gangster kids all knocked me down And made off with my lunch 'Cause I was taught to buck and wing But not to land a punch! But then Joe here had a brainstorm When he saw I couldn't fight [JOE] I played the odds against him [JOE & JERRY] And we ate ice cream every night! [JERRY] Yeah, he's the bait and I'm the hook [JOE] I'm the goose and he's the cook [JERRY] He's the beans [JOE] And he's the gas I'm the balls [JERRY] And I'm the brass You can't break up a winning team [JOE] Like that crutch and Tiny Tim! [JERRY] And so you can't have "ah" without the [JOE] "Choo!" [JOE & JERRY] And you can't have me if you don't have him! [JOE] Oh, when we play, it's just a fact Our music fills the air [JERRY] It's true that opposites attract And so we make a perfect pair! [JOE] 'Cause I'm the third, and he's the root [JOE & JERRY] That's the place all chords begin [JOE] We're two of a kind [MACK] If you're colorblind! [JOE & JERRY] Sep'rate mothers but we're brothers under the skin! [Dance break] So what more can we tell ya, folks? We're partners 'til the end It's nice to know my brother here is Also my best friend! [JERRY] And when this duet's over [JOE & JERRY] And the music's growin' dim [JOE] As the undertaker starts his spiel [JERRY] Please remind him we're a package deal [JOE] 'Cause you can't have verve [JERRY] Without the vim [JOE & JERRY] And you can't have me If you don't have him! Yeah, you can't have me if you don't have him!
About “You Can’t Have Me (If You Don’t Have Him)” by Christian Borle
Read the complete lyrics to "You Can’t Have Me (If You Don’t Have Him)" by Christian Borle, J. Harrison Ghee, Original Broadway Cast of Some Like It Hot from the album "Some Like It Hot (Original Broadway Cast Recording)" in 2023. On Lyrks you can follow along with the full text, explore the artist's discography, and discover related songs. The track is often categorized under Theatre, Broadway, Musicals.
"You Can’t Have Me (If You Don’t Have Him)" is performed by Christian Borle, J. Harrison Ghee, Original Broadway Cast of Some Like It Hot. from the album "Some Like It Hot (Original Broadway Cast Recording)" in 2023 This page provides the full lyric text for fans who want to sing along, study the songwriting, or compare versions across releases. Lyrks organizes lyrics by artist and song slug so you can bookmark and share a stable URL.
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"You Can’t Have Me (If You Don’t Have Him)" is credited to Christian Borle, J. Harrison Ghee, Original Broadway Cast of Some Like It Hot. Songwriting credits may include additional writers listed on the release; check the credits section on this page for linked collaborators.
"You Can’t Have Me (If You Don’t Have Him)" appears on "Some Like It Hot (Original Broadway Cast Recording)" in 2023.
Visit the Christian Borle, J. Harrison Ghee, Original Broadway Cast of Some Like It Hot artist page at /artist/christian-borle for biography, popular tracks, and links to more lyric pages.
