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*69 Lyrics by Christine Lavin

Please Don’t Make Me Too Happy

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It used to be so easy
To use the telephone
You'd pick it and dial
They'd answer if they were home
Then the answering machine
Helped us cut the cord
Now callers could be screened
Or better yet, ignored
Then came call waiting
We don't let that upset us
Thought I have come to call call waiting
'Chattus interruptus'
But there's a brand new service
Called *69
It redials the last person who called you
And puts them back on the line
There's call forwarding
There's beepers
Call conferencing and such
A panalopy of choices
Sometimes it's all too much
You see‚ there was a sweet young girl
So trusting‚ so naive
You could tell her anything
And she would believe
She met a computer repairman
His name was Jim
And it was just a matter of time
Before she truly cared for him
Though he criss-crossed the country
He'd see her when'er he could
She grew to love him deeply
Thought him kind‚ thought him good
But there was one thing about him
She considered a minor quirk
He said he had no home phone
She must contact him at work
And it was his beeper number
He instructed her to dial
He'd always call her back so fast
His haste would make her smile
They carried on for months like this
Until one rainy day
She called him on the beeper
He did not call back right away
But when he did she heard background noises
That made her suspicious
Was that babies crying?
Was that someone doing dishes?
When they hung up she sat and pondered
For quite some time
Then with shaky hand
She dialed *69
A woman answered the telephone
The young girl asked for Jim
Then quickly added 'Who is this?'
The woman said 'I'm married to him'
The conversation that followed
Was the kind that men most dread
The young girl told the wife everything
Her husband ever said
Or ever did, or bought, or promised her
Then the wife had her say‚ too
About their three young children
How her income pulled them through
They talked and cried, talked and laughed
Now you could say he's in a bind
All because the phone company has given us
*69
Modern conveniences can help you
But they can backfire
If you are the kind of person
Who is a liar
In this global village
It's best to tell the truth
And beware if someone's courting you
From a telephone booth
Yes, in this global village
Take this as a sign
Remember that repairman
And *69
Credits
Christine Lavin

Christine Lavin

About “*69” by Christine Lavin

Read the complete lyrics to "*69" by Christine Lavin from the album "Please Don’t Make Me Too Happy". On Lyrks you can follow along with the full text, explore the artist's discography, and discover related songs. The track is often categorized under Pop.

"*69" is performed by Christine Lavin. from the album "Please Don’t Make Me Too Happy" This page provides the full lyric text for fans who want to sing along, study the songwriting, or compare versions across releases. Lyrks organizes lyrics by artist and song slug so you can bookmark and share a stable URL. Music lyrics help listeners connect with emotion, narrative, and rhythm in a track. Whether you are learning English, researching a favorite chorus, or preparing for karaoke, having accurate line breaks and section labels (verse, chorus, bridge) makes the experience easier. We link to the official artist profile on Lyrks where available, including biography snippets, top songs, and chart placements when we have that data. If you enjoy "*69", explore more songs by Christine Lavin using the links below. Chart and trending pages on Lyrks highlight what listeners are searching for this week. For copyright or correction requests, see our DMCA and contact pages.

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Frequently asked questions

"*69" is credited to Christine Lavin. Songwriting credits may include additional writers listed on the release; check the credits section on this page for linked collaborators.

"*69" appears on "Please Don’t Make Me Too Happy".

Visit the Christine Lavin artist page at /artist/christine-lavin for biography, popular tracks, and links to more lyric pages.