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The Waitress Song Lyrics by Coda Conduct

2015

[Intro: Erica]
Hi
Yep, Long Black? Okay
That guy again
Arsehole
[Chorus: Sally & Erica]
Well, I'm a waitress at a place that's open afternoons
And once I loved it, now I'm hating on this asshole dude
Never speaks, just seems to watch me
So I gave my notice
He's so rude, makes a mess and takes the best space
Pretty soon he's the only person in the café
Stains the table with his coffee
So I gave my notice
[Verse 1: Sally]
Yo
You're pro'bly thinking I would just tell him to step along
I did, don't get me wrong but he can't hear me with his headphones on
Maybe to send a stronger message I should pen a song
But then I got a better plot I'm confident can get him gone
His name, heard it was Greg, and one day I turned to the chef
And soon we were serving instead to Greg a new personal breakfast
Soggy bread, burnin' the eggs, he just burped and then left
I stopped and saw that he'd drawn hoverboards on all the serviettes
[Pre-Chorus 1: Sally]
And I just hate that shit, gotta fill those dispensers (My least favourite job)
I'm waiting on him just to pay and leave (Get outta here)
[Chorus: Sally & Erica]
Well, I'm a waitress at a place that's open afternoons
And once I loved it, now I'm hating on this asshole dude
Never speaks, just seems to watch me
So I gave my notice
He's so rude, makes a mess and takes the best space
Pretty soon he's the only person in the café
Stains the table with his coffee
So I gave my notice
[Verse 2: Erica]
Yeah
I say hi to him, bye to him, that'll be five-ninety-five
And he doesn't seem to mind that the price is steep
'Cause I've been tryna see if he'll realize I've been
Deciding he should overpay for bacon rind for like a week
But no, he sits and waits and I give him pages
Of a newspaper taken from the most wet slimy gross and off
Trash, coat my clothes in mud and dirt
So if his cup is clean I can smudge it with my shirt (Chunky)
I wonder if I've got this mixed up
And all along he's sneakin' notes into the tip jar
Nah, I just think he's a jerk
But at least I nicked a hacksaw to make his table tip back and forth, it's fine
[Pre-Chorus 2: Erica]
'Cause when he takes a piss I'll steal all Greg's tips
I'm waiting on him just to pay and leave
[Chorus: Sally & Erica]
Well, I'm a waitress at a place that's open afternoons
And once I loved it, now I'm hating on this asshole dude
Never speaks, just seems to watch me
So I gave my notice
He's so rude, makes a mess and takes the best space
Pretty soon he's the only person in the café
Stains the table with his coffee
So I gave my notice
[Bridge: Sally & Erica]
He don't seem fazed that the bacon is weeks old
I spent three days cultivating that green mould
But it don't change, he just stays, don't see what
That guy's there for
He don't seem fazed that the bacon is weeks old
I spent three days cultivating that green mould
But it don't change, he just stays, don't see what
That guy's there for
[Chorus: Sally & Erica]
Well, I'm a waitress at a place that's open afternoons
And once I loved it, now I'm hating on this asshole dude
Never speaks, just seems to watch me
So I gave my notice
He's so rude, makes a mess and takes the best space
Pretty soon he's the only person in the café
Stains the table with his coffee
So I gave my notice
Credits
Coda Conduct

Coda Conduct

About “The Waitress Song” by Coda Conduct

Read the complete lyrics to "The Waitress Song" by Coda Conduct in 2015. On Lyrks you can follow along with the full text, explore the artist's discography, and discover related songs. The track is often categorized under Aussie Hip-Hop, Australia, Rap.

"The Waitress Song" is performed by Coda Conduct. in 2015 This page provides the full lyric text for fans who want to sing along, study the songwriting, or compare versions across releases. Lyrks organizes lyrics by artist and song slug so you can bookmark and share a stable URL. Music lyrics help listeners connect with emotion, narrative, and rhythm in a track. Whether you are learning English, researching a favorite chorus, or preparing for karaoke, having accurate line breaks and section labels (verse, chorus, bridge) makes the experience easier. We link to the official artist profile on Lyrks where available, including biography snippets, top songs, and chart placements when we have that data. If you enjoy "The Waitress Song", explore more songs by Coda Conduct using the links below. Chart and trending pages on Lyrks highlight what listeners are searching for this week. For copyright or correction requests, see our DMCA and contact pages.

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Frequently asked questions

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