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Jessica Alba’s Number Lyrics by Cosmo Jarvis

Humasyouhitch / Sonofabitch

2009

When I'm watching TV, girls are all I see
They're singing and dancing and acting and modelling
None of them would look at me
If I went to Jessica Simpson, she'd think I was an ignoramus
And if I tried to talk to Cameron Diaz, she'd say Get lost boy I'm famous
All the women round here have B.O or they have rolls
Some lucky bloke right now is probably hugging Beyonce Knowles
If I had Jessica Alba's number
I'd call her right up
And I'd ask her what she's doing at half past 3
And then I'd ask her if she'd marry me
If I had Jessica Alba's number
I'd be the luckiest guy in the world
I'd be the luckiest guy in the universe
And then some dick would try and steal her purse
So I'd smack him in the head with my mobile phone
And I'd say Hey Mister leave Jessie Alone
If I had Jessica Alba's Number (x4)
Fit girls get shot in films, I'm always in tears
I'd like to go see Toy Story 2 with just me and Britney Spears
She'd say Hit me baby one more time
And I'd say No way Britney, domestic violence is a crime
I like the one from Show Girls, when shes dancing round them poles
Or the really, really fit one who sings in the Pussycat Dolls
I've nearly got a moustache, and they still wouldn't talk to me
Kate Winslet naked in Titanic, or the lesbian from The O.C
If I had Jessica Alba's number
I'd call her right up
And I'd ask her what she's doing at half past 3
And then I'd ask her if she'd marry me
If I had Jessica Alba's number
I'd be the luckiest guy in the world
I'd be the luckiest guy in the universe
And then some dick would try and steal her purse
So I'd smack him in the head with my mobile phone
And I'd say Hey Mister leave Jessie Alone
If I had Jessica Alba's Number (x4)
If I had Jennifer Lopez's number
Or Kate Nash's number
Or the girl that was in Transformers's number
Or Jessica Alba's number
Credits
Cosmo Jarvis

Cosmo Jarvis

About “Jessica Alba’s Number” by Cosmo Jarvis

Read the complete lyrics to "Jessica Alba’s Number" by Cosmo Jarvis from the album "Humasyouhitch / Sonofabitch" in 2009. On Lyrks you can follow along with the full text, explore the artist's discography, and discover related songs. The track is often categorized under Pop.

"Jessica Alba’s Number" is performed by Cosmo Jarvis. from the album "Humasyouhitch / Sonofabitch" in 2009 This page provides the full lyric text for fans who want to sing along, study the songwriting, or compare versions across releases. Lyrks organizes lyrics by artist and song slug so you can bookmark and share a stable URL. Music lyrics help listeners connect with emotion, narrative, and rhythm in a track. Whether you are learning English, researching a favorite chorus, or preparing for karaoke, having accurate line breaks and section labels (verse, chorus, bridge) makes the experience easier. We link to the official artist profile on Lyrks where available, including biography snippets, top songs, and chart placements when we have that data. If you enjoy "Jessica Alba’s Number", explore more songs by Cosmo Jarvis using the links below. Chart and trending pages on Lyrks highlight what listeners are searching for this week. For copyright or correction requests, see our DMCA and contact pages.

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Frequently asked questions

"Jessica Alba’s Number" is credited to Cosmo Jarvis. Songwriting credits may include additional writers listed on the release; check the credits section on this page for linked collaborators.

"Jessica Alba’s Number" appears on "Humasyouhitch / Sonofabitch" in 2009.

Visit the Cosmo Jarvis artist page at /artist/cosmo-jarvis for biography, popular tracks, and links to more lyric pages.