[Verse 1]
How many times would you try, before you give in?
Would you leave the mark or hold the bat in a different position?
Is your energy still sourced? Is your patience still bought?
Would you undermine yourself to be above the billboard?
In the past I'd accept that the first attempt's a practice
Look at the sparks going dead when you first strike the matchstick
But a cerebral porthole will keep my thoughts trapped in
It's hopeless to express even an iota of passion
They asked me to kill time, so I defaced a clock
The peasants bet with pebbles, so I re-raised with rocks
And a suicide hotline left the Freemasons lost
Now all I do is scavenge fragments and replay my songs
I'm surpassed in every way now my best friend's become a father
I'm a surrogate uncle without a modicum of honour
A prototype of hopeless minds that overwrite my condescension
As a homeward fight, but I know that I can't hold the knife much longer
[Verse 2]
He's not ready, I'm not ready, no one's ready, hold it steady
Don't forget me, the rope I'm holding onto is brittle like cold spaghetti
I just wanna be home already, but you're holding on; won't you let me?
I know you just want to overprotect me, but I don't have any hope any more
And now my limbs are getting sore, all the readily pausing is turning me into a petty bore
And with all the tales you put inside my head so many saw
That all I was becoming was another penny draw
I know you aren't like the others, you don't beg questions to rape the answers
I'm not either but that's only because I just can't wait for cancer
Please don't make me have to endure it again, watching you comfort drink
Turning games of Hide-and-Seek into rounds of Hug-the-Sink
It breaks me, and I don't know how to put the pieces back together
Reinvent the wheel, drive outside and damn the weather
And I know how great you'll be when it comes to turning trash to treasure
And I hope you know how much I want us to shine bright and vanish never
[Verse 3]
Your mind had blocked me out to focus on daydream fears
I know I've been discarded but I promise I'll be waiting here
I know the hurt is terminal, I know it aches and sears
Maybe we'll meet again in another eighteen years
I really hope you know I feel betrayed when I lose a friend
Now I just shiver and shake and wait to be abused again
I don't have to speak the truth and say I'll need you, but who'll pretend?
Even a man of fools still struggles to make a fool of men
Some days I wonder to myself “Will my depression lift?”
But it's a hopeless question, cause that isn't what depression is
Sometimes my thought process gets drowned out by echoing
I separate the shards, then I put them back together with
A hundred thousand reasons for leaving the concept
More importantly to stop focusing on how much of the song's left
To only have a knee-jerk response before a long stretch
And evaluate surroundings like you woke up in the wrong bed
[Verse 4]
All I ever really wanted was to be something tangible
All you ever really needed was responsibility and a hand to pull
So when the final curtain closes and the applause drops my mandible
I'll make it my life's mission to assure I'm not held accountable
It bit me on my neck, so I can't suck the venom out
I'll cherish what we had, but I'm not even gonna pretend I'm proud
I've never been able to express myself, never been allowed
So now I have to write in code so the censors let my message out
Woke up this afternoon covered in tubes and suction caps
Now tell me, have you ever experienced anything as abrupt as that?
Follow the leader now, raise your lights and suck the ash
As if anything you say or do could ever disrupt the act
Why won't you tell me how the fuck I carry on alone?
When the last year was spent nursing friendship to watch it grow
Until the sky grew greyer and the voices turned to monotone
Whispering repeatedly, telling me to lock and load
