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A Bosom Friend Lyrics by Dave Malloy

Moby Dick: A Musical Reckoning

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[STARBUCK, spoken]
Oh Queequeg's a Cannibal, that's all!
[ISHMAEL]
A cannibal!
Well I don't want to sleep with a cannibal!
I don't wanna sleep with a cannibal!
Maybe I'm prude, but it just seems kind of rude
And I don't want to sleep with a cannibal
[ALL]
No he don't want to sleep with a cannibal
[ISHMAEL]
And I love new things, but I don't wanna try this
[ISHMAEL]
First thing I saw was his big harpoon and it scared me a little
[ALL]
Scared him a little
[ISHMAEL]
Next thing I saw was his crazy tattoos and it scared me a little
[ALL]
Scared him a little
[ISHMAEL]
Last thing I saw, he was holding in his hands it was a bundle of shrunken human heads
And that scared me a little, scared me a little bit too
When Queequeg came in I cried
[ALL]
Angels save me
[ISHMAEL]
I said
[ALL]
Cannibal don't get too close
[ISHMAEL]
And Queequeg cried
[QUEEQUEG, spoken]
Who-e debel you? You no speak-e, dam-me, I kill-e [?]
[ISHMAEL, spoken]
I just don't want to sleep with a cannibal!
[QUEEQUEG]
Oh- Oh I understand
And I'm sorry for your little mind
Yes I'm a cannibal- but don't you wanna know what kind?
Cannibalism is an outdated term and it needs to be rethunk I think
'Cause it lumps together endo-cannibals, exo-cannibals, necro-cannibals, and homicidal cannibals
Even though, they're pretty distinct
[ALL]
Endo-cannibals
Exo-cannibals
Necro-cannibals
And homicidal cannibals- distinct
[QUEEQUEG]
Now I am a necro-endo, mostly
Which means I just eat the people from my tribe
And I wait 'til they're dead
[spoken]
Eh?
Oh I can see you're hopeless
Yojo, deliver me from basic bunkmates
[ISHMAEL, spoken]
No wait, I'm sorry- I wanna learn!
[QUEEQUEG, spoken]
Alright- Try to keep up!
[sung]
If you love someone don't throw them in the ground
Butter them up and spread them around
I believe the flesh contains a bit of the soul
And it's yummy when you put it in a casserole
[QUEEQUEG, spoken]
Now I do sometimes eat people outside my tribe too, but only as a sacred ritual
[sung]
Say that you're engaged in a noble war
You finally win but what was the fighting for?
You can gain some wisdom when you empathize
By respecting their values and boiling their thighs
Everywhere I go people have an opinion
That this is wrong, or this or that is right
Ugh
Everybody is talking politics or religions
But as a cultural relativist I've seen the light
[scatting]
Zwadeebadadya
[ISHMAEL, scatting]
Zwadeebadyaday
[QUEEQUEG, spoken]
That's right!
[scatting]
Zabadabadabaday
[ISHMAEL, scatting]
Babababababababa
[QUEEQUEG, spoken]
Too much!
[scatting]
Scabodabodaboday
[spoken]
Now take it slow!
[ISHMAEL, scatting]
Zabodabodaboday
[QUEEQUEG]
Nice!
And you eat chicken
[ISHMAEL]
And I eat beef!
[QUEEQUEG]
And those animals endure a lot of grief
[BOTH]
And though you find my customs a little bit strange
[QUEEQUEG]
At least I know my meat lived its life free range
[ISHMAEL, spoken]
Why you're just as much a human as me!
[QUEEQUEG, spoken]
Um... Yeah
[ISHMAEL, spoken]
No, wait, I'm sorry, I mean- I'd be honored to share a bed with you
[QUEEQUEG, spoken]
Don't hog the covers- and try not to drool
[ISHMAEL]
So I guess I'm gonna sleep with a cannibal
I guess I'm gonna sleep with a cannibal
While the foodies chomp and chaw on their pâté-de-foie-gras
I'll be snuggling with my bosom friend the cannibal
[ALL]
Better sleep with a sober cannibal than a drunken Christian
Credits
Dave Malloy

Dave Malloy

About “A Bosom Friend” by Dave Malloy

Read the complete lyrics to "A Bosom Friend" by Dave Malloy from the album "Moby Dick: A Musical Reckoning". On Lyrks you can follow along with the full text, explore the artist's discography, and discover related songs. The track is often categorized under Musicals, Pop.

"A Bosom Friend" is performed by Dave Malloy. from the album "Moby Dick: A Musical Reckoning" This page provides the full lyric text for fans who want to sing along, study the songwriting, or compare versions across releases. Lyrks organizes lyrics by artist and song slug so you can bookmark and share a stable URL. Music lyrics help listeners connect with emotion, narrative, and rhythm in a track. Whether you are learning English, researching a favorite chorus, or preparing for karaoke, having accurate line breaks and section labels (verse, chorus, bridge) makes the experience easier. We link to the official artist profile on Lyrks where available, including biography snippets, top songs, and chart placements when we have that data. If you enjoy "A Bosom Friend", explore more songs by Dave Malloy using the links below. Chart and trending pages on Lyrks highlight what listeners are searching for this week. For copyright or correction requests, see our DMCA and contact pages.

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Frequently asked questions

"A Bosom Friend" is credited to Dave Malloy. Songwriting credits may include additional writers listed on the release; check the credits section on this page for linked collaborators.

"A Bosom Friend" appears on "Moby Dick: A Musical Reckoning".

Visit the Dave Malloy artist page at /artist/dave-malloy for biography, popular tracks, and links to more lyric pages.