Everybody Ought To Have A Maid Lyrics by David Burns, Zero Mostel, Jack Gilford, John Carradine
A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum (Original Broadway Cast)
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[SENEX, spoken] Maids like me. I'm neat. I like maids. They're neat. Something no household should be without. (sung) Everybody ought to have a maid [PSEUDOLUS] Everybody ought to have a maid [SENEX] Everybody ought to have a working girl Everybody ought to have a lurking girl To putter around the house Everybody ought to have a maid [PSEUDOLUS] Everybody ought to have a maid [SENEX] Everybody ought to have a menial Consistently congenial And quieter than a mouse Oh! Oh! Wouldn't she be delicious Tidying up the dishes Neat as a pin? Oh! Oh! Wouldn't she be delightful Sweeping out, sleeping in? Everybody ought to have a maid [PSEUDOLUS] Everybody ought to have a maid [SENEX] Someone who you hire When you're short of help To offer you the sort of help You never get from a spouse Fluttering up the stairway Shuttering up the windows Cluttering up the bedroom Buttering up the master Puttering all around the house! Oh! Oh! Wouldn't she be delicious Tidying up the dishes Neat as a pin? Oh! Oh! Wouldn't she be delightful Sweeping out, sleeping in? Everybody ought to have a maid [PSEUDOLUS] Everybody ought to have a maid [SENEX] Someone who, when fetching you your slipper, will Be winsome as a whippoorwill And graceful as a grouse Skittering down the hallway Flittering through the parlor Tittering in the pantry Littering up the bedroom [SENEX & PSEUDOLUS] Twittering all around the house! [HYSTERIUM] A maid? [SENEX] A maid [PSEUDOLUS] A maid [SENEX. PSEUDOLUS & HYSTERIUM] A maid! Everybody ought to have a maid Everybody ought to have a serving girl A loyal and unswerving girl Who's quieter than a mouse [HYSTERIUM] Oh! Oh! Think of her at the dustbin 'Specially when she's just been Traipsing about [SENEX, PSEUDOLUS & HYSTERIUM] Oh! Oh! Wouldn't she be delightful [HYSTERIUM] Living in... [SENEX] Giving out... [SENEX, PSEUDOLUS & HYSTERIUM] Everybody ought to have a maid Daintily collecting bits of paper 'n' strings Appealing in her apron strings And graceful as a grouse [HYSTERIUM] Pattering through the attic [SENEX] Chattering in the cellar [PSEUDOLUS] Clattering in the kitchen [SENEX] Flattering in the bedroom [SENEX, PSEUDOLUS & HYSTERIUM] Puttering all around the house! The house! The house! The house! [LYCUS] A maid? [HYSTERIUM] A maid [SENEX] A maid [PSEUDOLUS] A maid! [SENEX, PSEUDOLUS, HYSTERIUM & LYCUS] Everybody ought to have a maid Someone who's efficient and reliable Obedient and pliable And quieter than a mouse! Oh! Oh! Wouldn't she be so nimble Fiddling with her thimble Mending her gown? Oh! Oh! Wouldn't she be delightful [LYCUS] Cleaning up... [SENEX] Leaning down! [SENEX, PSEUDOLUS, HYSTERIUM & LYCUS] Everybody ought to have a maid Someone who'll be busy as a bumblebee And even if you grumble, be As graceful as a grouse! [LYCUS] Wriggling in the anteroom [HYSTERIUM] Jiggling in the dining room [PSEUDOLUS] Giggling in the living room [SENEX] Wiggling in the other rooms [SENEX, PSEUDOLUS, HYSTERIUM & LYCUS] Puttering all around the house! The house! The house! The house!
About “Everybody Ought To Have A Maid” by David Burns
Read the complete lyrics to "Everybody Ought To Have A Maid" by David Burns, Zero Mostel, Jack Gilford, John Carradine from the album "A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum (Original Broadway Cast)". On Lyrks you can follow along with the full text, explore the artist's discography, and discover related songs. The track is often categorized under Broadway, Theatre, Musicals.
"Everybody Ought To Have A Maid" is performed by David Burns, Zero Mostel, Jack Gilford, John Carradine. from the album "A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum (Original Broadway Cast)" This page provides the full lyric text for fans who want to sing along, study the songwriting, or compare versions across releases. Lyrks organizes lyrics by artist and song slug so you can bookmark and share a stable URL.
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"Everybody Ought To Have A Maid" is credited to David Burns, Zero Mostel, Jack Gilford, John Carradine. Songwriting credits may include additional writers listed on the release; check the credits section on this page for linked collaborators.
"Everybody Ought To Have A Maid" appears on "A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum (Original Broadway Cast)".
Visit the David Burns, Zero Mostel, Jack Gilford, John Carradine artist page at /artist/david-burns for biography, popular tracks, and links to more lyric pages.