[Verse 1]
Arguments and arguments that’s what I always hear every day
My brother comes back home from school and always asks to play
So sick and tired of this, this has been going on for too long
Ongoing problem that’s so serious that I had to make it into a song
He be on the computer for the whole day playing League of Legends
You might lol to that, but this is way serious, the whole fam sickened
He used to do this with all kinds of video games like Halo and Call of Duty
Sometimes I wonder how he can’t get bored, he needs to do his duties
Whenever I hear my parents arguing with Justin I immediately know
What they are talking about, it makes my emotions attitude low
Always negotiating with my mom about having more game time
Signing paper contracts saying how he’ll do stuff but it isn’t on his mind
He says he would do chores, read, babysit, or write but he never does
Cause he be lying through his teeth, he just tryna get what he loves
Just like drugs, he realizes this is an addiction but he can’t admit it
He argues that our fam is supposed to help him out but that’s not it
Cause God don’t give us anything we can’t handle, getting over the hunch
Wake up in the morn early to play not eating breakfast, dinner, or lunch
Scream, yell, shout when he’s annoyed or doesn’t get it putting up a fight
Our fam wonders what his purpose is or what he’s going to do in life
And even afterwards he keeps on researching, streaming, or thinking it
He claims he’ll have discipline and responsibility but never practices it
He be switching game time and carrying over a whole next years’ time
Never satisfied, and now my baby brother is learning from those times
Play and play with failing grades, like that’s what he wants in life
Mister slave, guess if he loves it that much he should make it his wife
Using real money, buying all these equipment, playing like no tomorrow
I wonder when reality will hit him, so cruel it might send him into sorrow
[Verse 2]
But now it’s me for my problems and addictions
Youth group nicknamed it McDonalds but I’m a say it straight up masturbation
Started near the end of elementary, but weird I discovered it myself
Then entering teenager years of puberty, hormones be reacting itself
Touching myself in places and squirting all up on my leg and body
Sinfulness, check up on my mind and hands asking why am I so dirty
On the internet I get every shape and size I want, feeling so far gone
Or I could be fantasizing inside my head, thinking about it for so long
Afterwards my mind clears and I always ask myself why I did it
I never feel any good afterwards, sick to my stomach and bones, I hate it
Tissues, papers, and blankets be my covers, hiding away the evidence
Also deleting internet histories, my family don’t even know about it
Temptation be taking control, I am no longer the master but the slave
Shooting up like a fiend, I feel like such an animal I feel so ashamed
I can’t stop it, sometimes I just wanna cut or rip off my water hose off
That way I can stop dealing with this horrible habit that I can’t stop
Hard, long, soft, penetration, those words be triggering the gutter
Mind all jacked up and twisted when I hear words or 69, my sewer
Lust inside my heart, my conscience would be screaming and shouting
Turning women into objects, this is no different from multiple lovings
[Verse 3]
On to the next one, now about my castle in the sky
No difference from smoking, with my fantasy I’d be up so high
Uh, day dreaming my life away, I’d be thinking too much
I might as well just live inside my head, can’t clean this muck
Always rambling, talking, blogging, chatting, and writing
About all this desultory and useless things, all of this is so tiring
I guess I don’t have any reason to live if I could live it in my mind
Everything that I wish will come true, all of it perfect in my eyes
Take me away from this cruel and cold world, take me somewhere far
Into the pages, into the story, into the game, out towards the stars
Started from a very young age, just shooting and playing small hoops
Thinking basketball thoughts, Today’s Kids yellow, red, white, and blue
Why I hate and love myself, I’m creative but it can get out of control
Anxiety, hopefully I can stop this addiction before I get too old
I know my imagination is strong, but enough is enough
Is it a curse or a gift, just my luck I guess I seem to have it rough
These dreams and wild thoughts stresses me so I could kill myself
Point a gun up towards my head, then blow my brains out of myself
Worries and details of the future haunt me so I never focus on the present
Burden to my body, heart, and soul, give me a mind wipe this instant
[Outro]
I always say and stress the fact of how I wanna detoxify people
But in fact I’m so intoxicated that I’m the one who really needs to be detoxified
Time won’t solve these issues, I gotta start fixing myself now
Or else it’s gonna get even worse
I wanna tell people that this is what I overcame
Yeah
Uh
