[Intro]
Oh, hey guys
Before I give DigBar the phone
I want to warn you all
That DigBar has a dangerous, mission to do today
He’s on his way to meet Lil Nas X at BangBros Capital
Lil Nas X says he has a message for DigBar
From the afterlife
But from who, could it be from?
DigBar hasn’t told me anything
But he says you all know exactly, who it’s from
And also there’s one more thing, I have to mention
But I have to hurry up and say it before he gets here
[Verse 1: DigBar & Pope]
Bro I told you not to say shit about it
Will this be a good idea? I doubt it
Lil Nas X didn’t give me the message, I found it
I went to BangBros Capital
The same damn place whеre the Pope’s big booty was lookin' so magical
I walkеd to the lobby
I felt a presence enter my body
Then I went to the front desk
And I see the message from Lil Nas X
Nas told me it was sent from the afterlife
I stood in shock, I’m not talkin' 'bout Magnemite
Standing in place like a mo'fuckin' satellite
It’s just a message, it really don’t matter right?
Then I started to read what was wrote
The message said:
“To DigBar, from the Pope
Hey DigBar, I apologize
It was not in my intentions for you to get sodomized
After the train in BangBros Capital
James Harden was immediately after you
Setup was his idea, not mine
I took one for the team 'cause you’re one of a kind
I don’t want this to be how this all ends
So follow these steps and you’ll get your revenge
James Harden has a game in town, so he will be near
Break into his hotel room, tie his ass up and shave off his beard
Then to really leave him in shock
Take his beard and glue it to your cock
Yeah, glue it to your cock
Step two: Find four big guys
Line them niggas up side by side
This one is simple, it’s pretty quick:
Have the guys helicopter their dicks
Then for step three it should be in control
Undress James Harden, he’s wearing my robe
Put the robe on and end his life
Then I’ll be released from the afterlife”
[Verse 2: DigBar]
Damn, I cannot believe the information I just got from the pope
I cannot believe James Harden was really behind this the whole time and I didn’t know
I looked at my clock, it was about ten o’clock
James Harden was on his way back to the hotel
I got my four big guys: Kolossal, Nigpro, Peanut, and BlkMask as well
They’re all gonna helicopter their dicks
To help me get the pope back out of Hell
With all of these niggas helpin' on a mission
Honestly, there is no way I could fail
We strapped on our BBC parachutes and we flied through the night sky
I thought James Harden was a nice guy
Know we 'bout to end his life
I won’t shoot him once, I’ma shoot that boy twice
We made it, we ran through the lobby
I’ma put him to sleep, call me DigBar Cosby
In the elevator, we pressed the four
We got to his floor, we beat on his door
We took off our clothes and left 'em in the hall
Everybody was naked, we smellin' like balls
I heard some whispers
Clenching my fists and I’m holding my clippers
James Harden opened the door and I punched that nigga on his jawline
Turned on my clippers
James Harden, it’s bald time
[Verse 3: DigBar & James Harden]
Nigpro and BlkMask tied that boy up to a chair
Kolossal and Peanut started strokin' his hair
James Harden, I’m sure you know why I am here
“Fuck you DigBar, you’re a queer”
Okay, bet
Give me that beard
I got that beard then he was in shock
Then I took the glue and glued it to my cock
This shit felt good, this shit kinda hot
[Verse 4]
Well that was fun
Shut up, James Harden, you better not run
I snapped my fingers at the four big guys
Then they lined up side by side
The dicks started spinnin', the Pope would be proud
The BBC helicopter sounded loud
I cut the ropes off of James
Stripped that boy down to nothin' but his chain
Put on the Pope’s robe then I looked at James
Picked up my gun and aimed it at his face
Here I am with a beard on my dick
Next to penis, it’s spinnin' so quick
Holding at gun at a lame ass ho
In a room with five niggas and I’m wearing a robe?
Bet
Y’all know the drill
Shot James in his head and the blood start to spill
Honestly, this is the best of my kills
The Pope finally got his mission fulfilled
I really just did that for real
[Outro]
Wow
DigBar actually killed James Harden
And he completed the Pope’s ritual
DigBar and the four big guys all come together for a group hug and start celebrating
If you all could see the asses bouncin' up and down on them…
But then DigBar turns around and sees James Harden’s body is gone
What could this mean?
But then he goes outside
There’s a loud “BOOM!” in the sky
And there’s a white figure coming down
Who could it be?
Could it be the Pope?
Did James Harden revive hisself?
Who knows…
The world may never know
