[Chorus]
Okay! Wo-oo-oo-ooh
Woo-oo-oo-ooh
[Verse 1]
I met Dorothy at the dance floor
In this Emerald City town
It was the crazy club called "Ozzy's"
Everybody's getting down
I met Dorothy at the dance floor
She had them bright red shoes
Everybody's hoppin', poppin', breakin'
To the Existential Blues, Part Too
[Chorus]
Wo-oo-oo-ooh
Say, where'd you get them shoes?
Wo-oo-oo-ooh
I said Existential Blues, Part Too
[Verse 2]
So I'm out there on the dance floor
And I feel something at my feet
It's a little dog named Florida [?]
'Cause I hope it's not a he
I said "girl, your dog looks hungry!
I think it needs a bone!
Let's blow this place and check out hills
Take your doggie home", y'all
[Chorus]
Wo-oo-oo-ooh
T-Bone's hungry too
Wo-oo-oo-ooh
I said Existential Blues, Part Too
[Verse 3]
So we grabbed a cab, and I said
"Hey cabbie, take us down the road"
To the poppy field, outside of town
That's the place I call my home
We'll stow our cabbie, turn the dog
I said "girl now, ain't you Sue?"
I said "man, you got the wrong sequel
This is Existential Blues, Part Too"
Break!
[Chorus]
Wo-oo-oo-ooh
Sorry, Harry
Wo-oo-oo-ooh
I said Existential Blues, Part Too
Break!
[Bridge]
Okay boys, girls, take a little pause with story right now
While all the boys and girls out there, in radio land, do a little breakdance with uncle T-Bone
Everybody jump up and down your leg! That's it!
Break your leg!
[cracking sound]
Everybody, fall down and break your arm!
(Oh!) I like the way you break your arm! (ow!)
Now boys and girls, let's try a tricky one:
I want y'all to spin around your head, and break your neck
Let's all start spinning round (round), round (round)...
Oh God, Dorothy... (Dorothy...)
POPPIES! POPPIES! POPPIES!
[Spoken interlude: Tom "T-Bone" Stankus & guru from Nirvania]
Where am I?
You have reached Nirvania
Yeah, is that like Nirvana or something?
Oh yes, yes, like Nirvana, you will find bliss and ecstasy here
But with your weekend package, you also get shuffleboard, volleyball and sunbathing
Right, yeah. Like, how do we get to Nirvania?
I thought you had to meditate, eat yogurt, and move to Oregon
Oh no, no, no, that is not necessary. One simply goes to Pittsburgh, and hangs a left [?]
Okay, okay, like, so I'm here in Nirvania, and may I find the truth of life around here?
Oh, it is truth you seek, my son? But truth is a very elusive thing
I say, the truth is like a wife. Take my truth, please! Ha-ha, I make joke
Yo, I think I better be going, man, you know?
Yes, yes, my son, you must go back to the poppy fields, and visit your friendly wizard. He will tell you of a very, very wise man on the west coast, and perhaps he knows the truth you seek
Yo, like, how do we get out of here?
Well, the same way you came in! Spinning round on your head
Go ahead, start spinning round, round, round...
Oh no, here we go again!
Oh God, Dorothy... (Dorothy...)
POPPIES! POPPIES! POPPIES!
[Verse 4]
So we get out to the poppy fields
And there's my friendly wizard
This stale old cat, a new [?] jack
His mind is in a blizzard
I said "Wizard, old buddy, old wise little pal
Had a long time no see"
He says "I've been hanging out on the west coast
With this cat named Dr. D
He's a crazy DJ, plays it fair
Every song on the radio
In fact, I'm about to tune him in
Let's listen to his show, yeah"
[radio tuning sounds]
[Rap: Dr. Demento]
I'm Dr. Demento, and I get down
I'm the craziest cat, bozo and clown
I play mad music on the radio
Woo-woo-woo! Let's start the show
We got Spike Jones, Weird Al, Cheech & Chong
My pal T-Bone, you can never go wrong!
Funniest records you ever heard:
"Fish Heads", "Dead Puppies" and the "Surfin' Bird"
Got 78s from a great-grandpa
They're coming to take me away, ha-haaa!
[Verse 5]
I don't know what to make of it
I'm so confused, you see
First the wizard, then the guru
Now this wild man named Dr. D
I've seen and heard some crazy things
My head is spinning round
This story's getting pretty weird
I better slow it down
[Chorus]
Wo-oo-oo-ooh
Dear Abby, I'm confused
Wo-oo-oo-ooh
I said Existential Blues, Part Too
[Verse 6]
Now me and Dorothy are happy
In our little Twilight Zone
I like poppin' into poppies
She likes breaking with the Bone
But just like "Jaws" and "Rocky"
You'll have to wait and see
If I decide to bend your mind
With Existential Blues, Part Too
[Chorus]
Wo-oo-oo-ooh
Not another sequel!
Wo-oo-oo-ooh
I said Existential Blues, Part Too
Break!
[Outro]
Hey Dorothy! Watch me do a little breakdance in the living room here, huh? [crash]
Uh, sorry about that coffee table, uh... think I better move it to the kitchen, they got nice linoleum floor I can slide around, do a little moonwalk and stuff... swoosh!
Okay, watch this, watch this, Dorothy!
[more crashing]
Oh, sorry about your, your china there, darlin', uh... sorry about the pots and pans too, uh...
Maybe I'll take this down, uh, out behind the bar or something, you know?
(Swoosh!) But I get better at this, you know, poppin' and breakin' stuff here
Think I'll hang out with the gang, down by the front of the 7-11
In fact, you know, I think that's where I say that weird dude, you know? The guy from Nirvania?
