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Hire Me Lyrics by Dr Syntax

Benny Huge

2010

[Intro]
Hello Mr Hughes
Hi
My name is Richard (nice to meet you)
I'll be interviewing you today, okay
So I've had a look at your CV (uh-huh)
Given your experience, in all honesty
Tell us how you might approach
Working for a company like ours
Honestly? (yeah)

[Verse 1]
Uh, I'll probably turn up early every day for my first week (first week)
Just to have you thinking im disturbingly keen (wow)
But the very next week, its unlikely I'll be heard from
Or seen 'till at least 9:30 it seems (where is he?)

And why you telling me we need to work as a team?
I'll be doddering around in a world of my dreams
And as for a dress code? (what?) Hell no (no)
If you want me in a suit, then I'll turn up in jeans

You might think that I'm half-witted
But when it comes to myself then im generally a harsh critic
I take on projects I can't finish
And leave people hanging right at the last minute

(Uh, that sounds a bit unprofessional)
So what?
Would you prefer it if I said I'm like a robot?
I'm just a broke joke bloke with no job
Who can't afford what his life costs

[Chorus]
I'm begging you to hire me
I'm not civility personified
I've never even had a job I liked
But please! Hire me
See I'm just trying to be the honest guy
Assuming that's what every boss would like
Go on, hire me
Cause right now I'm in a rut
Down to my last tenner on the first of the month
Please, hire me
Go on, hire me
Anyone? Hire me

[Verse 2]
I won't increase your turn over
I'll turn up hungover
Having spent the night on some sofa (oh shit)
It doesn't matter if I'm drunk or sober
I'm in the same shirt with the funky aroma (phew)

You can try and call me but I won't pick the phone up
I'll be online chatting with some other stoners
Talking about how shit my job is (shit)
But at least I get paid just to sit and talk bollocks (bollocks)

I went to uni twice but that's irrelevant
Did it for the hell of it (*laughing*)
Middle-class decadence
Wahey, I got some arts degrees
I was a, regular face on a whole lot of party scenes

My bank's still charging me
For some money those cunts loaned me back in '03 (cunts!)
Please let me know you're keen
Or just slip me some dough and I'll leave
I'll be so discrete!

[Chorus]
I'm not civility personified
I've never even had a job I liked
But please! Hire me
See I'm just trying to be the honest guy
Assuming that's what every boss would like
Go on, hire me
Cause right now I'm in a rut
Down to my last tenner on the first of the month
Please, hire me
Go on, hire me
Anyone? Hire me

[Verse 3]
Yo, Goldman Sachs won't
Hire me
The whole Civil Service won't
Hire me
Hewlett Packard won't
Hire me
The Evening Standard won't
Hire me
HSBC won't
Hire me
The SO 24 Hour garage won't
Hire me
Random House Publishing won't
Hire me
McDonalds! (ugh)
Credits

About “Hire Me” by Dr Syntax

Read the complete lyrics to "Hire Me" by Dr Syntax from the album "Benny Huge" in 2010. On Lyrks you can follow along with the full text, explore the artist's discography, and discover related songs. The track is often categorized under Rap.

"Hire Me" is performed by Dr Syntax. from the album "Benny Huge" in 2010 This page provides the full lyric text for fans who want to sing along, study the songwriting, or compare versions across releases. Lyrks organizes lyrics by artist and song slug so you can bookmark and share a stable URL. Music lyrics help listeners connect with emotion, narrative, and rhythm in a track. Whether you are learning English, researching a favorite chorus, or preparing for karaoke, having accurate line breaks and section labels (verse, chorus, bridge) makes the experience easier. We link to the official artist profile on Lyrks where available, including biography snippets, top songs, and chart placements when we have that data. If you enjoy "Hire Me", explore more songs by Dr Syntax using the links below. Chart and trending pages on Lyrks highlight what listeners are searching for this week. For copyright or correction requests, see our DMCA and contact pages.

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Frequently asked questions

"Hire Me" is credited to Dr Syntax. Songwriting credits may include additional writers listed on the release; check the credits section on this page for linked collaborators.

"Hire Me" appears on "Benny Huge" in 2010.

Visit the Dr Syntax artist page at /artist/dr-syntax for biography, popular tracks, and links to more lyric pages.


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