[OCEAN]
Judges
Student body
Colleagues
Friends
Ominous novelty machine
I had a speech prepared for this very occasion, but I simply cannot read it! (Tears her paper)
[MISCHA]
How could she have speech for this?
[OCEAN]
I am just going speak from my heart
I've known most of these folks since PRE-K, I love them all!
Constance Blackwood, my best friend forever, my BFF
[CONSTANCE]
Ocean, she's looking at me-
[OCEAN]
Don't interrupt sweetie!
Constance is the salt of the earth! Our Merry Main Street looking for her Joe 6-pack! Sure, shе has some serious self еsteem issues, why wouldn't she?
Look, I've seen enough reality TV to get what you want us to do here. Who's the best? Sure. Grades? Humanitarian efforts? Extra-curricular activities?
Both spiritual mastery of *both* Judaism and Catholism, nailed my conformation and Bat Mitzvah in the same week, and I am not even bragging about that because it is against my Buddhist beliefs
I am the best by any metric of society. I get that. But if THAT is how worth is measured, I want no part in it. Look, some of us are left wing, some of us are right wing, but the last time I checked it takes TWO wings to fly!
We are community, we are family, we are the world!
[Womp womp womp womp]
[KARNAK]
Ocean O'Connell Rosenburg heroically concedes
[OCEAN]
She does what?
[KARNAK]
I respect you taking the moral high ground, next
[OCEAN]
But I was just trying to prove to you that I'm a good person!
[KARNAK]
You lay noted, next
[OCEAN]
No no!
I'm urging you to make the responsible choice here, for the betterment of humanity
What the world needs is people like me
To keep it all spinning around
I'm the mover
I'm the shaker
I'm the headline maker
I get up..
I get up
And no ones gonna keep me down!
Okay, it's clear, I'm the top of this class
These folks here while they pump the gas
Fetch me a coffee
Shine my shoes
Some of us are winners
Some were born to lose!
You have the sandwich artist, (NOEL)
The security guard! (RICKY)
The Walmart greeter with an overdrawn credit card! (JANE)
He smokes ganja, ooh, it's so groovy to stay at home and watch another Will Smith movie! (MISCHA)
She serves me coke and a medium fries, and no thanks, I don't want that super sized
'cuz that's low class
Diabetes in a cup
Keep your head down
And things will look up!
[OCEAN AND THE CHOIR]
What the world needs is people like me
To keep it all spinning around
I'm the mover
I'm the shaker
I'm the headline maker
Mmm, I get up..
[CONSTANCE]
She gets up!
[OCEAN]
I get up!
And no ones gonna keep me down!
Seriously?
This one here, he's rarin' to fail
He'll rob a 7/11 and go straight to jail
Maybe steal hub-caps
Maybe steal booze
Expressing himself with his homemade tattoos! (MISCHA)
Soccer mom, minivan
Four little brats, no steady man!
Do we really need another organ donor?
Maybe that was a little harsh
Love you! (CONSTANCE)
Oh, angry birds
Candy crush
He's a real sweet kid but his brains are mushed
And what's he gonna do, solve a rubik's cube?
How longs he got if we feed him through a tube? (RICKY)
[OCEAN AND THE CHOIR]
What the world needs is people like me
To keep it all spinning around
I'm the mover
I'm the shaker
I'm the headline maker
Mmm, I get up..
[CHOIR, EXCEPT OCEAN]
She gets up!
[OCEAN]
I get up!
And no ones gonna keep me down!
And as we move through life to find our place in the crowd
[CHOIR, EXCEPT OCEAN]
Ooh...
Some don't make a cup that's crystal clear-o!
[OCEAN]
Oh yes, oh yes!
Well, isn't someone keeping score?
Do I gotta say it so loud?
I mean
Do we really need another zero?
[CHOIR, EXCEPT OCEAN]
Ooh...
Do we really need another zero?
[CHOIR]
Or zero
Or zero
Or zero
Or zero!
[OCEAN]
Add em' all up
And you'll still get zero!
What you really need
Is a fother-mucking hero!
[CHOIR, EXCEPT OCEAN]
Oh-oh!
[OCEAN]
He'll never learn to read! (RICKY)
[CHOIR, EXCEPT OCEAN]
Oh-oh!
[OCEAN]
He's never gonna breed! (NOEL)
[CHOIR, EXCEPT OCEAN]
Oh-oh!
[OCEAN]
Going to jail guaranteed!
[CHOIR]
And she's a freaky monster! (JANE DOE)
[CHOIR]
Yes, there's a problem
[OCEAN]
I'm the solution
Darwin had a theory called
[CHOIR, EXCEPT OCEAN]
Evolution!
[OCEAN]
He put it into words
And it's plain to see
We need a little less of them
A little more of me!
[MISCHA, RICKY ALIBBIS]
What the world needs is people like me
To keep it all spinning around
I'm the mover
I'm the shaker
I'm the headline maker
Mmm, she gets up
She gets up!
[OCEAN, LEAD VOCAL]
Me!
Me!
Me me me
Oh!
A little more of me!
I get up! I get up!
[CONSTANCE, JANE DOE, NOEL ALIBBIS]
We can't all be heroes
No!
Most of us?
Zero-ohs
[MISCHA, RICKY ALIBBIS]
She gets up!
Oh what the world needs is people like me
To keep it all spinning around
I'm the mover
I'm the shaker
I'm the headline maker
Mmm, she gets up
She gets up!
[CONSTANCE, JANE DOE, NOEL ALIBBIS]
We can't all be heroes
No!
Most of us?
Zero-ohs
Some fly high
She gets up
She gets up!
[CHOIR, EXCEPT OCEAN]
Some stay down!
[OCEAN]
And no one's gonna keep me down!
Down!
