[Intro: Ethan]
Yeah, yeah
[Verse 1: Ethan]
I’m feeling lonely as hell but I don’t wanna talk to you
I want to lose your number, but I don’t wanna lose you
You’ve done so much for me, but now it’s all gone
This whole friendship idea is easier said than done
I don’t know why I can’t understand my own thoughts
I pick myself apart until the answer is God
Friends come and go, at least that’s what I’ve been told
I can’t believe that when all of mine are on hold
Is it something that I’m doing or is it just who I am?
I pile all this up until I realize that it’s sand and
It all goes away and no one will remember (damn)
I wish that I could understand
I lay in bed and think “Why’s it got to be me?”
I say there’s no mess but all I see is defeat
I have no days of rest so I’m feeling real weak
Like I made the devil the driver and I’m in the back seat
What the heck is going on there’s something wrong with this world?
Glorify drugs, get high but I swore to say "no, sir"
Nah, I ain’t cool with it, pain makes me want to go hurl
I see good people get hurt but they still show up to church
They keep the smile on they faces when the times get hard
They seek the time of the day when they know it ain’t too far
They keep their eyes focused on and never look at the scars
They see all of the damage and don’t ask what it is for
I don’t wanna die, but it’s getting tough to live
When I know that there’s a heaven that’s way better than this
There’s an eternal life of joy where brokenness don’t exist
But how can I picture it if all I picture is sin?
I’m feeling lots of doubts lately like I’m going crazy
Like I’m going to plummet down and nobody can save me
Like I was not allowed, I forgot the man who made me
The man who took the crown, said "I am your payment"
I’m closing all my doors so that nobody will know
I need someone to help when I’m feeling so low
I say a lot of no’s so I'ma start to say yes
Father God, I hope you listening, amen
[Sample: Mac Miller]
I don't need to lie no more, no more
I don't need to lie no more, no more
I don't need to lie
[Verse 2: Brian]
Can’t get away, feels I’m allergic to this pain
Most of the day feels wasted away
If I work, if I sleep, if I do nothing
It feels all just like a vain something and man, that’s crushing
I can’t figure out which way to go
Because I think that no one knows
And they advise, but I reject
They think they know what’s best
But I can’t believe it cause I’ve tried and I’ve tried and I try
These boxes are filled up
I think I’m all sick of this stuff
But why? I question and I question some more
These songs are the only things now giving me hope
If you can call it that it’s just a feeling like, but can’t quite put my finger on it
Toxic, you could argue how I’m living
I feel like I can’t do it right, flawless
I don’t need to lie no more
I don’t have to hide no more, well guess what?
All I have is honesty, and I don’t wanna cry no more, yeah
I don’t understand, how I am a man
How You are God, this is Your plan
I don’t get it, but I wish that
I could get it, now a skeptic, so relentless, then I sit with, an act that says I’m with it, ditch it, woo
But I’m broken and I’m lost and I can’t see without God
I’m trying to speak that to myself even when things are lost
I want to follow You my God for you, not just the applause
I can not do it alone, but I cannot just withdraw
A beautiful mess, I guess
You say you’re out for my best, yeah
I say a lot of no’s so I'ma start to say yes
Father God, I hope you're listening to my heart, amen
[Sample Outro]
