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Abe Lincoln vs Chuck Norris Lyrics by Epic Rap Battles of History

Epic Rap Battles of History (Season 1)

2010

[Intro]
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!
ABE LINCOLN
VS
CHUCK NORRIS
BE-
[Verse 1: Abraham Lincoln]
Four score and sixty-five years in the past
I won the Civil War with my beard, now I’m here to whup your ass
I’ve read up on your facts, you cure cancer with your tears?
Well, tell me, Chuck, how come you never sat down and cried on your career?
You’re a washed up has-been on TV, selling Total Gyms
And you’re gonna lose this battle like you lost Return of the Dragon
I’ll rip your chest hairs out, put them in my mouth, I’ll squash you like I squashed the South
I never told a lie and I won’t start now; you’re a horse with a limp, I’ll put you down
[Verse 2: Chuck Norris]
This isn’t Gettysburg, punk, I’d suggest retreating
For I invented rap music when my heart started beating
Chuck Norris doesn’t battle, he just allows you to lose
My raps will blow your mind like a verbal John Wilkes Booth
[Verse 3: Abraham Lincoln]
I’ve got my face on the side of a mountain, you voted for John McCain
I’ve got a bucket full of my head and I’m about to make it rain
You block bullets with your beard? I catch them with my skull
I’d make fun of Walker, Texas Ranger, but I’ve never ever seen that show
[Verse 4: Chuck Norris]
I am Chuck Fucking Norris! I’ve spread more blood and gore
Than forty score of your puny Civil Wars, bitch
I split the Union with a roundhouse kick
I wear a black belt on the beard that I grow on my dick
I attack sharks when I smell them bleed
I don't go swimming, water just wants to be around me
My fists make the speed of light wish that it was faster
You may have freed the slaves, but Chuck is everyone’s master
[Outro]
WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE!
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!
Credits
Epic Rap Battles of History

Epic Rap Battles of History

About “Abe Lincoln vs Chuck Norris” by Epic Rap Battles of History

Read the complete lyrics to "Abe Lincoln vs Chuck Norris" by Epic Rap Battles of History from the album "Epic Rap Battles of History (Season 1)" in 2010. On Lyrks you can follow along with the full text, explore the artist's discography, and discover related songs. The track is often categorized under Comedy, Battle Rap, Rap.

"Abe Lincoln vs Chuck Norris" is performed by Epic Rap Battles of History. from the album "Epic Rap Battles of History (Season 1)" in 2010 This page provides the full lyric text for fans who want to sing along, study the songwriting, or compare versions across releases. Lyrks organizes lyrics by artist and song slug so you can bookmark and share a stable URL. Music lyrics help listeners connect with emotion, narrative, and rhythm in a track. Whether you are learning English, researching a favorite chorus, or preparing for karaoke, having accurate line breaks and section labels (verse, chorus, bridge) makes the experience easier. We link to the official artist profile on Lyrks where available, including biography snippets, top songs, and chart placements when we have that data. If you enjoy "Abe Lincoln vs Chuck Norris", explore more songs by Epic Rap Battles of History using the links below. Chart and trending pages on Lyrks highlight what listeners are searching for this week. For copyright or correction requests, see our DMCA and contact pages.

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Frequently asked questions

"Abe Lincoln vs Chuck Norris" is credited to Epic Rap Battles of History. Songwriting credits may include additional writers listed on the release; check the credits section on this page for linked collaborators.

"Abe Lincoln vs Chuck Norris" appears on "Epic Rap Battles of History (Season 1)" in 2010.

Visit the Epic Rap Battles of History artist page at /artist/epic-rap-battles-of-history for biography, popular tracks, and links to more lyric pages.