[Verse 1: Google]
Season One is over, so stop defendin
Because the best battler of the season belongs to my Google search engine
While the rest of you are out here getting abused
Just like your girlfriend, Google's always being used
[Verse 2: Bing]
Shut the hell up, Google! Get out of here, skidaddle
Is someone a little bitchy after losing the first battlе?
As for the rest of you, you can't evеn compare
Bing is where it's at, so don't even dare
[Verse 3: Charlie Sheen]
My name is Charlie Sheen, and I do hardcore drugs
Your Search Engines seriously need to shut the hell up
You think that you're better rappers? That's clearly untrue
If I can take Rebecca Black, I can TAKE YOU TOO
[Verse 4: Rebecca Black]
Charlie Sheen? Looks like we meet again
How's house arrest? Looks like you aren't making any friends
All you pathetic rappers are beyond fake
But I still can't decide, which seat should I take?
[Verse 5: Justin Bieber]
Are you kidding, Rebecca? Look what you just started
Come talk to me when you sell out your tickets at the Garden
You can't rap or sing, so what can you do?
Hell, even my hair has more flow than you
[Verse 6: Santa Claus]
HO HO HO, Looks like you're all pissed
Go ahead and diss me, I'll put ALL your asses on the Naughty List
I'm on the beat, none of you can diss this
I'm delivering fresh rhymes, and it's not even Christmas
[Verse 7: Jack Sparrow]
Oh, Santa, go work on your belly
If I cut you open, you would probably spill jelly
Forget this battle, man, I'll just be done
But before I go, does anyone have some rum?
[Verse 8: Harry Potter]
Jack Sparrow, go ship your ass back out to sea
I'm so popular, I got a whole movie series named after me
Look at you, you're a pirate that's rapping
I'll call you Jack Sparrow, cause you don't deserve the CAPTAIN
[Verse 9: Mickey Mouse]
Oh, boy, Listen to you all
Come to Disney and battle, and we'll all have a ball
[Verse 10: Bill Clinton]
Ah, shut up, Mickey, You're making me mad
I prefer Bush Gardens over your stupid park's ass
[Verse 11: Michael Vick]
I get so much money, I can't even guess the amount
You've slept with so many women, Clinton, that you can't even count
[Verse 12: The Joker]
HA! You will all be over very soon
With a click of this button, you'll all go KABOOM
[Verse 13: Willy Wonka]
You've lit the spark, but i'll ignite the fuse
Not to mention my rap battle has over 2 million views
[Verse 14: Ronald McDonald]
Willy Wonka, I don't think you understand
Your candy is NOT their most popular demand
[Verse 15: The Grinch]
Ronald McDonald, just shut the hell up
Every time I visit, you put flat soda in my cup
[Verse 16: Shrek]
You all just rap in one big loop
I'll throw you all in a pot and make MORE pussy soup
[Verse 17: Barack Obama]
Hello, my fellow Americans, send out your faxes
I lied to you when I said that I would lower your taxes
[Verse 18: Osama Bin Laden]
Obama, you're pathetic, look at the mirror's reflection
Nobody will vote for you in the upcoming election
[Verse 19: Eminem]
I'm the King of Rap, so wipe off that smile
Put on your running boots, and I'll make all your asses run 8 Miles
[Verse 20: MMs:]
I'm just a candy on the shelf and I'm still rappin
Look at the 21st Century, I mean, what the hell happened?
[Verse 21: Spiderman]
Climbing up walls, catch me if you can
Because coming soon, is The Amazing Spiderman
[Verse 22: Captain Hook]
Captain Hook time! I'm coming in
And for the first time in a while, the bad guy will win
[Verse 23: Severus Snape]
I may look like a bad guy, but clearly I'm heroic
I'm a legit rapper, you all sound like poets
[Verse 24: Lord Voldemort]
What a disgrace to rap battle you all
Your raps are so terrible, it's like the Bobcats playing basketball
[Verse 25: Jeremy Lin]
It's been a while, hasn't it? But now I'm back
I'll shoot a game-winning shot while spitting some raps
[Verse 26: Tim Tebow]
Jeremy Lin, I haven't even heard of you in forever
The next time you make headline news? Probably never
[Verse 27: Katniss Everdeen]
I'm the bravest one here! Why can't you see?
You have a better chance in the Hunger Games than you do against me
[Verse 28: Hermione Granger]
Look at you! You're terrible, Katniss
You're so poor, you'd probably drink some cat piss
[Verse 29: Eli Manning]
Look at me now, I put the "Man" in Manning
'Cause this rap battle plane is only just about landing
I'm on the air, you're touching ground
I throw the ball in the air, TOUCHDOWN
[Verse 30: Peyton Manning]
Oh my God, my brother, didn't you learn the first time?
Not only can you not rhyme, it's way past your bedtime
This battle is over, I clearly beat you
And stay tuned here, for Season Number two
