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Aisle B Lyrics by Eric Schwartz

Redder Than Ever

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My girlfriend got sick
And she needed a few things
But she couldn't get out of her bed
So she wrote me a list
She sent me to the drugstore
I went up to the sales girl and said
"Tell me...where are the tampons and
Tell me, how to heal canker sores
Sell me what you take with a cramp on
'cause if she don't stop whining
She won't need no tampons no more..."
She said
"Aisle b
That's where you'll find them
Aisle b
Near the feminine sprays"
Aisle b
Where they'd carefully aligned them
To make damn well sure
I'd be shopping for tampons for days...
So I picked up a basket, and went down and found her
Anything she could squirt or insert or inject
And when I was done
I brought them up to the counter
Where each item I bought was price-checked
Hair pluckers, zit suckers, unstuckers for stomach unease
Inner incense for a scent like a warm country breeze...
I later discovered the whole thing was a setup
They taped me from beginning to end
I shoulda known better
This chick hasn't let up since she found out I did her best friend
I packed up my things
With my ego eroded
I went back to live with my mom
If you don't believe me
The mpeg's uploaded at "Guys Buying Tampons dot com"
Aisle b the dreams aren't stopping
Aisle b, never again
Aisle b, girls, do your own shopping
Unless you are trying to make a mess of your men....
Credits
Eric Schwartz

Eric Schwartz

About “Aisle B” by Eric Schwartz

Read the complete lyrics to "Aisle B" by Eric Schwartz from the album "Redder Than Ever". On Lyrks you can follow along with the full text, explore the artist's discography, and discover related songs. The track is often categorized under Pop.

"Aisle B" is performed by Eric Schwartz. from the album "Redder Than Ever" This page provides the full lyric text for fans who want to sing along, study the songwriting, or compare versions across releases. Lyrks organizes lyrics by artist and song slug so you can bookmark and share a stable URL. Music lyrics help listeners connect with emotion, narrative, and rhythm in a track. Whether you are learning English, researching a favorite chorus, or preparing for karaoke, having accurate line breaks and section labels (verse, chorus, bridge) makes the experience easier. We link to the official artist profile on Lyrks where available, including biography snippets, top songs, and chart placements when we have that data. If you enjoy "Aisle B", explore more songs by Eric Schwartz using the links below. Chart and trending pages on Lyrks highlight what listeners are searching for this week. For copyright or correction requests, see our DMCA and contact pages.

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Frequently asked questions

"Aisle B" is credited to Eric Schwartz. Songwriting credits may include additional writers listed on the release; check the credits section on this page for linked collaborators.

"Aisle B" appears on "Redder Than Ever".

Visit the Eric Schwartz artist page at /artist/eric-schwartz for biography, popular tracks, and links to more lyric pages.