[Verse One: Pip Skid]
When he was young mom wouldn't let him go and play
It'd be best if the other kids stayed away
Spoiled rotten, gotten what he wanted an only child
Throw a hissy fit quick, known to get wild
Cried you touched him and his ribs stuck out
Developed late like the hour that you snuck out
Delicate like dishes saved for guests
And expect them little legs tucked away in a bird's nest
The kind of guy that always slips in a spill
Too precious for the sun, the heat will make him really ill
An ice grill can turn him to dust
Sucky little guy who don't eat the crust
Never took the bus, always chauffeured around
Might sprain an ankle if his feet touched the ground
Never did a dish, never swept a floor
Tried to walk to the store but it left him sore
Poor Dale with the 'I Don't Like' list of disease
The only thing he's not allergic too is water and cheese
Won't ease up about all the problems he's got
Something always hurts, his runny nose won't stop
A lot like MJ only without supporters
Trouble dealing with change bigger than quarters
Only weighs a buck like something on sale
Skinny like a piece of letter mail, Frail Dale
[Interlude: Frail Dale whining]
Don't. Leave me alone. I-I don't wanna. I-I don't like that. Don't
"Boy this kid is something else"
[Verse Two: Mcenroe]
Frail since the smallest infant
Pale and misfed, looking young and innocent
On a daily basis
They confiscate his
Money for lunch, after school the chase is on
All the way home, who will protect him?
Small like a garden gnome, who will select him?
For the team, ball hockey everyday
Yearns to play
But they mock and keep away
(It's Frail Dale)
He dreams to be the best
But he needs a few pounds of beef beneath the vest
(It's Frail Dale)
He deeks like Gretzky but his shots are weak
He body checks too gently
(It's Frail Dale)
He can solve a riddle
But he can't get involved cause his bones are brittle
(It's Frail Dale)
You'll forget he's there
Too short to try most rides at the fair
He'll cry with despair, cursed by his parents
Both under 5'3", nice genes to inherit
Pseudo-intellectuals doing the crosswords
Say he'll grow out of it but they're still awkward
(It's Frail Dale)
Wants to play for the Avalanche
Laughed and turned away cause he's soft as a Cabbage Patch
(It's Frail Dale)
Get's a date up on it
But he's like a little brother so it stay platonic
(It's Frail Dale)
Dying for P.T
So though he's fully grown, has to try as a Pee Wee
Used to hang around, wanna ride with we three
I put him in the basket of my bike like E.T
[Interlude: Frail Dale whining]
Don't
"What is it with this kid?"
[Outro: DJ Hunnicut]
Yeah man. Frail Dale...what can I tell you about Frail Dale? Dale was alright you know but ah...yeah, looking back on that shit, I don't think we were very cool with Frail Dale. I mean ah, there were times when it would be like, recess...We'd be playing like A.W.A. and I always wanted to be Rock N Roll Buck Zomhofe. You know like, I wasn't the biggest dude...in school, but one things for sure is Frail Dale was definitely the smallest. And ah...so we'd be like playing A.W.A. and we'd be our favorite wrestlers and I'd always pick Rock N Roll Buck Zomhofe. I always wanted to be Rock N Roll Buck Zomhofe. Anyways, if I wanted to body slam someone, the only dude I could pick up was Frail Dale. So I'd always pick on him in the Battle Royales and I'd pick out Frail Dale. And ah, one time I just plum picked him up...and put him over my knee...and...Frail Dale just fucking broke in half. That's a true story. The end
