[Intro: Announcer (Fightmarker)]
RAP BATTLE!
JONTRON!
VERSUS!
SCOTT THE WOZ!
BEGIN!
[Verse 1: Jontron (Fightmarker)]
Ah yes, Reddit's terminal illness is stepping up to me
Should treat this shit like Game Grumps: Just fucking leave
See, the name's JonTron, there's ain't no way I'm done
Your mother's like GameFillip: Bitch got 88 in 1
I might get shit when Jacque talks, but no matter what he'll say
I'm bound to hand Scott shots like copies of Wii Play
You make characters and bits for your friends to act around ya'
To hide the fact that they'd all rather Flex Tape your mouth shut--
Ooogghhh, aghhhh, fuck-- (*thud*)
[Skit: AVGN (SuperThingsOnCups), Scott the Woz (Chao)]
Yeah, take that, you Twitter-usin' fuck!
What, you want some of this too?!
Suuuuuure...
[Verse 2: AVGN (SuperThingsOnCups)]
Well alright, asshole, you want a war? Lеt's fucking do it then
'Cause I Met-a-Critic, Scott, you know I'm up to usе my pens
Kill your friend, so it's a double meaning when I take a Jab
Extra Turdestrial, it's time I take you to the past
All your shit hit or misses, like you were built for the NES
Your Monopoly was so shit, Board James killed all his fucking friends
If my era was fed this snooze ass content that your dickless fans watch
They'd rather have Freddy Krueger fucking give them a handjob
Yeah this dude's white bread, TV shoulda' still kept on the censor
He's colorblind, he'd probably let JonTron say the N-word
So I won't go in circles like this shit's Superman 64
Ask my buddy Mike, I've dealt with giant dicks before
[Verse 3: Scott the Woz (Chao) & Rex Mohs (ColeTheCole)]
Hey all, Scott here! I was just learning how to rhyme
'Cause I was supposed to battle JonTron, just to clarify
And then I opened the door and see actually, I'm here to fight
...Who the f*** is this guy?
Oh right, AVGN! I love game reviewers, see
They all bitched, swore, and screamed all the way to obscurity
Started in '03? After all this time, I think it rather is
Not really Cinemassacre and more Cinemasochist
Out of all the wacky antagonists that you dare to attack
How'd you fumble with Polybius? Just hit it with a bat
You had control for a while but once ScreenWave had got that
You got turned to one more middle aged white guy with a podcast
Now I'll admit it, your main show's pretty alright
But your other series? Well, your main show's pretty alright
(No beers at your funeral!) Yeah, stop maybe drinking
But then I'd see you twice as angry, an AA Meeting
[Verse 4: AVGN (SuperThingsOnCups)]
God, that shit was so boring, your fans must hate joy
I'm being sedated by this fucking Game Boy
Irate couldn't top me, and you can't beat me either
I'll chop you into four white guys and call you Wii-zer
[Verse 5: Scott the Woz (Chao)]
You decided not to see Ghostbusters 2016?
I'm sure Sony was devastated not to have you in their seats
Though, speaking of movies, I suggest you stop your bitching please
I've seen more convincing green screens from ERBoHistory
[Verse 6: AVGN (SuperThingsOnCups)]
Pushing my buttons, shithead? I ain't a fucking Power Glove
And here I'm thinking hearing you for just one fucking hour sucked
The web sucks your spiderballs, and that's some fucking fuckshit
The next border you'll be Closed In is a fucking coffin
This guy is a shitload of fuck
And I do not mean some, I mean a SHITLOAD OF FUCK
Scott the Numb Nuts (ASS), Scott the Dumb Cunt (SHIT)
Scott the Nightmare on Elm Street, 'cause fucker you're getting dumped on
You spit it wack, that dumpy flow, then I laugh, you ain't funny though
I'll hit and smash this fuckin' chode, kicks to your back, then I punch your nose
Your shit is trash, and it fucking blows, rather lick the ass of a buffalo
I've had it man and now you fucking know
I don't like him
[Verse 7: Scott the Woz (Chao) & Jeb Jab (JustGamer)]
In your own time, you didn't even make the top vids
How shitty does it feel to be under Smosh and Shane Dawson?
You used to scream "f***!" Now everything you do is lame
Take the place of Chibi Robo, I know you like your toilet humor, James
You lost your edge, so don't claim you got something
How are you gonna listen to some Tunes when you can't even beat Bugs Bunny?
'Cause making Pop Culture references is how you got famous
(SHIT, IS THAT GEX?) Sure, if he was stuck in his mother's basement
