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“Excuse Me....” Hapgood’s Entrance Lyrics by First Complete Recording Cast of Anyone Can Whistle

Anyone Can Whistle (First Complete Recording)

2020

[HAPGOOD, spoken]
Excuse me, but could you direct me to the Cookie Jar?
[SCHUB, spoken]
What for? There's nobody there, they're all here
[HAPGOOD, spoken]
Where?
[SCHUB, spoken]
There!
[HAPGOOD, spoken]
They don't look it
[SCHUB, spoken]
Of course they don't look it, because all of them aren't
[HAPGOOD, spoken]
Well, which ones are?
[SCHUB, spoken]
You're asking me?
[HAPGOOD, spoken]
Yes?
[SCHUB, spoken]
You can't tell by looking? Do I look it?
[HAPGOOD, spoken]
Actually, no
[SCHUB, spoken]
There you are!
[HAPGOOD, spoken]
Then why aren't you there?
[SCHUB, spoken]
Because I'm herе! I'm in charge!
[HAPGOOD, spoken]
You can't be Dr. Detmold
[SCHUB, spoken]
Of coursе I'm not Dr. Detmold! He isn't here, but he's at the Cookie Jar
[HAPGOOD, spoken]
Which is?
[SCHUB, spoken]
That way!
[HAPGOOD, spoken]
Thank you
[CORA, spoken]
Schub, I absolutely refuse to be hated again! Ah, Dr. Detmold?
[SCHUB, spoken]
Who in that line is a patient of yours?
[DETMOLD, spoken]
My new assistant will help you
[CORA, spoken]
And where is he?
[DETMOLD, spoken]
He knows, I don't. He was due several patients ago. Ah! Doctor
[HAPGOOD, spoken]
Doctor!
[DETMOLD, spoken]
Detmold, L. Morris
[HAPGOOD, spoken]
Hapgood, J. Bowden
[DETMOLD, spoken]
I'm terrible on faces, but I never remember a name. Mayor Schub, Comptroller Hoover Hooper, my new assistant Dr. J
[HAPGOOD & SCHUB, spoken]
Doctor
[CORA, spoken]
He's Schub, you're Hapgood, and I'm delighted
[DETMOLD, spoken]
Good. If you need help, bring your dreams to the Cookie Jar, and my new assistant will confuse you
[CORA, spoken]
So, you are gonna take care of me
[SCHUB, spoken]
He's going to take care of us, first! Now, Doctor, here's our problem in a nutshell
[CORA, spoken]
Oh, Schub, haha
[SCHUB, spoken]
We must know immediately which of the people on that line are bonafide pilgrims, entitled to take our miracle waters, and which are Cookies
[DETMOLD, spoken]
Yes
[HAPGOOD, spoken]
You've got the wrong man
[SCHUB, spoken]
Now, Doctor, you're an eminent psychiatrist, aren't you?
[HAPGOOD, spoken]
No
[SCHUB, spoken]
I loathe modesty
[HAPGOOD, spoken]
Even if I were Freud, I've just arrived here. How can I tell you like that who's a pilgrim and who's a Cookie? Dear Mayor
[CORA, spoken]
Ass
[HAPGOOD, spoken]
That is obvious. Shall we dance?
[CORA, spoken]
Your place or mine?
[HAPGOOD, spoken]
Here and now
[SCHUB, spoken]
What the hell is this?
[HAPGOOD, spoken]
I have to think, and I think best on my feet. And I must think of a quick way to discover who is who and what is what and make everybody—
[SCHUB, spoken]
Yes?
[HAPGOOD, spoken]
—happy! Mayor?
[CORA, spoken]
You may
Credits
First Complete Recording Cast of Anyone Can Whistle

First Complete Recording Cast of Anyone Can Whistle

About ““Excuse Me....” Hapgood’s Entrance” by First Complete Recording Cast of Anyone Can Whistle

Read the complete lyrics to "“Excuse Me....” Hapgood’s Entrance" by First Complete Recording Cast of Anyone Can Whistle from the album "Anyone Can Whistle (First Complete Recording)" in 2020. On Lyrks you can follow along with the full text, explore the artist's discography, and discover related songs. The track is often categorized under Theatre, Musicals, Pop.

"“Excuse Me....” Hapgood’s Entrance" is performed by First Complete Recording Cast of Anyone Can Whistle. from the album "Anyone Can Whistle (First Complete Recording)" in 2020 This page provides the full lyric text for fans who want to sing along, study the songwriting, or compare versions across releases. Lyrks organizes lyrics by artist and song slug so you can bookmark and share a stable URL. Music lyrics help listeners connect with emotion, narrative, and rhythm in a track. Whether you are learning English, researching a favorite chorus, or preparing for karaoke, having accurate line breaks and section labels (verse, chorus, bridge) makes the experience easier. We link to the official artist profile on Lyrks where available, including biography snippets, top songs, and chart placements when we have that data. If you enjoy "“Excuse Me....” Hapgood’s Entrance", explore more songs by First Complete Recording Cast of Anyone Can Whistle using the links below. Chart and trending pages on Lyrks highlight what listeners are searching for this week. For copyright or correction requests, see our DMCA and contact pages.

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Frequently asked questions

"“Excuse Me....” Hapgood’s Entrance" is credited to First Complete Recording Cast of Anyone Can Whistle. Songwriting credits may include additional writers listed on the release; check the credits section on this page for linked collaborators.

"“Excuse Me....” Hapgood’s Entrance" appears on "Anyone Can Whistle (First Complete Recording)" in 2020.

Visit the First Complete Recording Cast of Anyone Can Whistle artist page at /artist/first-complete-recording-cast-of-anyone-can-whistle for biography, popular tracks, and links to more lyric pages.