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The Best Pies of London Lyrics by Fiyero + Elphaba

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“The Best Pies of London”
(MRS. LOVETT, spoken)
Ah, customers! Come in, come in!
What’s yer rush? What’s your hurry?
You gave me such a—fright
I thought you was a ghost
Half a minute, can’tcher? Sit! Sit ye down!
Sit! All I meant is that I haven’t seen a customer for weeks
Did you come here for a pie, sir?
Do forgive me if me head’s a little vague—
(sung)
Ugh! What was that?
But you’d think we had the plague—
From the way that people—keep avoiding—
No, you don’t!
Heaven knows I try, sir!
Yich!
But there’s no one comes in even to inhale—
Right you are, sir. Would you like a drop of ale?
Mind you, I can’t hardly blame them—
These are probably the worst pies in London
I know why nobody cares to take them—
I should know, I make them. But good? No
The worst pies in London—
Even that’s polite
The worst pies in London—
If you doubt it, take a bite
Is that just disgusting? You have to concede it
It’s nothing but crusting—here, drink this, you’ll need it
The worst pies in London—
And no wonder with the price of meat
What it is when you get it—never thought I’d live to see the day
Men’d think it was a treat finding poor animals wot are dying in the street
Mrs. Mooney has a pie shop—does a business, but I’ve noticed something weird—
Lately, all her neighbors’ cats have disappeared
Have to hand it to her—what I call enterprise
Popping pussies into pies—wouldn’t do in my shop—
Just the thought of it’s enough to make you sick
And I’m telling you them pussy cats is quick!
No denying times is hard, sir—even harder than the worst pies in London
Only lard and nothing more—
Is that just revolting?
(TOBIAS, sung)
Oh, Mrs. Lovett, your pies are quite the sensation!
I’ve sampled them all—beef, mutton, and… other variations
But tell me, dear Mrs. L, what’s the secret ingredient?
The flavor that lingers, both sinister and expedient?
(spoken)
Mrs. Lovett, I’ve been curious, you see
Is it the spices, the herbs, or something more devilish?
I’ve heard rumors—the whispers of the streets
And I wonder, as I chew, if it’s true what they say
(sung)
The worst pies in London, they call them
Yet I find myself craving another bite
The mystery, the thrill—it’s intoxicating
So, Mrs. Lovett, won’t you share your recipe tonight?
Credits
Fiyero + Elphaba

Fiyero + Elphaba

About “The Best Pies of London” by Fiyero + Elphaba

Read the complete lyrics to "The Best Pies of London" by Fiyero + Elphaba. On Lyrks you can follow along with the full text, explore the artist's discography, and discover related songs. The track is often categorized under Pop.

"The Best Pies of London" is performed by Fiyero + Elphaba. This page provides the full lyric text for fans who want to sing along, study the songwriting, or compare versions across releases. Lyrks organizes lyrics by artist and song slug so you can bookmark and share a stable URL. Music lyrics help listeners connect with emotion, narrative, and rhythm in a track. Whether you are learning English, researching a favorite chorus, or preparing for karaoke, having accurate line breaks and section labels (verse, chorus, bridge) makes the experience easier. We link to the official artist profile on Lyrks where available, including biography snippets, top songs, and chart placements when we have that data. If you enjoy "The Best Pies of London", explore more songs by Fiyero + Elphaba using the links below. Chart and trending pages on Lyrks highlight what listeners are searching for this week. For copyright or correction requests, see our DMCA and contact pages.

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"The Best Pies of London" is credited to Fiyero + Elphaba. Songwriting credits may include additional writers listed on the release; check the credits section on this page for linked collaborators.

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