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A Secretary Is Not a Toy Lyrics by Frank Loesser

An Evening With Frank Loesser

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[Intro]
Gentlemen! Gentlemen, please!
When something of value is placed in your hands
You treat it maturely with infinite care
You don't make paper boats out of money
You don't toss a fine watch in the air
So you certainly should be aware
[Verse 1]
That a secretary is not a toy
No, my boy, not a toy
To fondle and dandle
And playfully handle
In search of some puerile joy
No, a secretary is not
Definitely not a toy
[Verse 2]
A secretary is not to be
Used for play therapy
If that's what you'rе doing
You're quite misconstruing
Her function whilе in your employ
No, a secretary is not
Definitely not a toy
[Bridge]
She's a highly specialized key component
Of operational unity
A fine and sensitive mechanism
That serves the office community
With a mother at home she supports
A mother at home she supports
Do not tamper, do not tinker
He who does so is truly a stinker
Who could learn the plain truth from his shrinker
Or find out at F.A.O. Schwartz
[Verse 3]
That a secretary is not a small
Version of volleyball
If you're feeling eager
Ran down to Davega
And there you can grab the McCoy
No, a secretary is not
Definitely not a toy
[Verse 4]
A secretary is not a pet
Nor an Erector Set
To juggle and jingle
Like something Kris Kringle
Had left for small hands to destroy
No, a secretary is not
Definitely not a toy
[Bridge]
Gentlemen, to recap:
She's a highly specialized key component
Of operational unity
A fine and sensitive mechanism
That serves the office community
Please observe when you put her to use
Observe when you put her to use
She's not metal, she's not plastic
Run by motor or springs or elastic
And you won't find a name so fantastic
As "Lionel" on her caboose
[Verse 5]
For a secretary is not a thing
Wound by key, pulled by string
Her pad is to write in
And not spend the night in
If that's what you plan to enjoy
No, a secretary is not
Definitely not a toy
Credits
Frank Loesser

Frank Loesser

About “A Secretary Is Not a Toy” by Frank Loesser

Read the complete lyrics to "A Secretary Is Not a Toy" by Frank Loesser from the album "An Evening With Frank Loesser". On Lyrks you can follow along with the full text, explore the artist's discography, and discover related songs. The track is often categorized under Pop.

"A Secretary Is Not a Toy" is performed by Frank Loesser. from the album "An Evening With Frank Loesser" This page provides the full lyric text for fans who want to sing along, study the songwriting, or compare versions across releases. Lyrks organizes lyrics by artist and song slug so you can bookmark and share a stable URL. Music lyrics help listeners connect with emotion, narrative, and rhythm in a track. Whether you are learning English, researching a favorite chorus, or preparing for karaoke, having accurate line breaks and section labels (verse, chorus, bridge) makes the experience easier. We link to the official artist profile on Lyrks where available, including biography snippets, top songs, and chart placements when we have that data. If you enjoy "A Secretary Is Not a Toy", explore more songs by Frank Loesser using the links below. Chart and trending pages on Lyrks highlight what listeners are searching for this week. For copyright or correction requests, see our DMCA and contact pages.

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Frequently asked questions

"A Secretary Is Not a Toy" is credited to Frank Loesser. Songwriting credits may include additional writers listed on the release; check the credits section on this page for linked collaborators.

"A Secretary Is Not a Toy" appears on "An Evening With Frank Loesser".

Visit the Frank Loesser artist page at /artist/frank-loesser for biography, popular tracks, and links to more lyric pages.