[Intro]
(Yo, when I be all Dimmesdale walking, hand up on my chest in a swoon, and that certain slant of light oppress with the heft of cathedral tune…)
[Verse1]
Stacks upon stacks of that Dunder-Mifflin product
Inked up and annotated, knock me out like a narcotic
Pilot Precise bleeds a hole I cannot jump through:
Roadrunner tracing with my one-man crew
Sitting in solitude, Rapunzel’s ivory tower
Who said to be alone is to bear a ring of power?
So the prince, he gets a thorn in the ball of the eye
Like Sampson get shorn when you Icarus the sky
Then that plumber butt tool who observed me for his school
Emails up out the blue and asks me to read his gruel
You know that essay in the inbox it’s a turd in a pool;
Each line that you drop be smearing Melville with your stool
You tell me to be honest, so I’m Mary-Edith cruel
I’m not sorry to be Proctor make that -ishness find the fool
(Unfocused motherfucking essay…
Don’t you know how to establish a goddamn premise, stick to an idea? As Too Short might’ve put it: basic paragraphing, biatch)
[Chorus]
Never ever burn out, never ever fade
Don’t never ever crack, never ever get played
Never ever burn out, never ever fade
Don’t never ever crack, never ever get played
Never ever burn out, never ever fade
Don’t never ever crack, never ever get played
Never ever burn out, never ever fade
Don’t never crack, never ever get played
[Verse 2]
AP all up in my grilly seeking out some paper-willy
But my pedagilly skilly, stroking seeming willy-nilly
Be as illy as Monet’s quilly spilling waterlilly
Warming all the chilly fillies, truth distilling like it’s silly
And then the AD calls;
Due to a conflict the game’s called off
Systems so flawed
But by this point I’m so numb I can’t even drop-jaw
Fuck your documentation, fuck your bureaucracy
I be all proactivation while you motherfuckers sneeze
Y’all fail at education, try to criticize me
You motherfucking jellyfishing AP & AD
(Yeah, go on, change the subject at every turn
Every time my logic backs you into a motherfucking corner.)
[Chorus]
Don’t never ever burn out, don’t never ever fade
Don’t never ever crack, don’t never get played
Don’t never ever burn out, don’t never ever fade
Don’t never ever crack, don’t never get played
Don’t never ever burn out, don’t never ever fade
Don’t never ever crack, don’t never get played
Don’t never ever sell out, don’t never have it made
Don’t never talk smack, don’t never grow staid
[Verse 3]
I murderize any student who lowers the curve
I laugh at teenage bitches who think I’m a perv
I ain’t never give an “F” that wasn’t deserved
I ain’t never give a fuck about some parent’s nerve
Raising kids makes McMurphies, it’s a matter of fact;
Giving birth makes you Kurtz with guilt for a gat
I hack the dark with heart, Marlow with a hatchet
Fool up in my circle, jerking, play you like nurse Ratched
Hike up to the mike on my stage and you’ll say (“The horror!”)
I drop lobotomy and electroshock torture
A lawyer dad should’ve heard and learned before he tried
To defend his dear daughter who dove deep in a lie
Motherfucker thought he’d jump me ‘fore the bell one day
But I took a steaming hot iron to arguments he sprayed
Flattened wrinkles in his logic, on his warrant set a crease
He came out swinging for his girl but in the end he cried for peace
I tied him to the desk, pressed the iron to cheek
Hot steam up on the eyeball, stepped on his feet
Kicked him all up in the shin, cut all up off his ear
Dropping bomb syllogism, documentation clear
In the world of academia, logic’s a fort:
You battle me up on the mic you best come armed with support
I be that elbow patch suede smooth as pussy in need;
You the pilled poly sleeve ‘neath the threadbare tweed
[Interlude]
Burn out, fade
Crack, played
Sell out, made
Talk smack, grow staid
[Outro]
When you ever burn a joint out you know you got it made
Don’t never ever slack and you’ll always get paid
They tell me not to drop new lyrics in the outro fade
But motherfuckers in my class learn through the last day
(June 22nd, motherfucker.)
