[Verse 1]
Eight years and not a damn thing changed
I mean, I grew a little taller, but I'm sick and deranged
This dead weight on my shoulders got me feelin' so chained
A blunt will surely just diminish the pain
Sunday paper, saw your name on the page
Tryna hold back all these tears and bite my tongue through the rage
Disappear inside my head and kill the thought with some sage
Heaven sent, it's evident that you gon' light up the stage
[Verse 2]
And I know that you gon' make it to those pearly white gates
I'm a sinner, no god inside my realm decidin' my fate
But religion's how you found yourself and I think that's great
And growin' up, my mama told me that it's never too late
But my mind's in a crate, an asylum of doubt
I don't think the preacher likes the words that exit my mouth
Believin' in myself is my own personal route
guardin guards his guardian angel as the demons come out
And they got me shakin' hands with the strangers in my brain
Am I reachin' for the stars or am I just going insane?
I've been trapped inside this hell of mine long before the rain
Can somebody shut me up and put an end to all this pain?
I wanna fight it, ignite it, smite it right out of me
My blood's runnin' colder and I'm tryna find some kinda heat
The burner is parallel, paralyzing the incomplete
My stomach engulfed in the toxic tonic of River Street
And I don't know who I am
Traded my soul when I was fifteen for a couple of grams
You'd think by now with all the time that's passed, I'd be givin' a damn
But all I care about is her, music and startin' a fam', fuck
[Bridge]
Yeah, yeah
[Verse 3]
Woke up all alone inside of this bed
I check my phone, no missed calls or texts and Snapchat is dead
I close my eyes and try to see you, but you're too far ahead
Into the mist, I fuckin' travel searchin' for you again
'Cause sometimes I sit and ponder 'bout it
If I'm just being honest
I over think the simple things and treat it like a novice
The raindrops in my head started spittin' sonnets
I'm losin' hope, but I'ma love you 'til the end, I promise
And I'ma try my fuckin' hardest just to understand
Why my head is sick, the answers lie inside my hand
Is it cause I'm growin' up? 'Cause this isn't what I had planned, I
Just wanna call you, enthrall you inside my wonderland
The ceiling's cavin' in, the walls are kinda thin
The locks are broken, a token of what I'll give
When he talked to me 'bout it, I thought I had found a friend
But he took an advantage of letting himself attend
Gripped me tight and made me do what I did
Yet confusion kept me quiet 'cause I'm only a kid
Been forsaken from the truth when other problems exist
But I was only fuckin' seven, ain't no way to resist
Cracked the code, but I can't find a way to fix 'cause
These thirteen years have had a secret in the mix
I can't go back and change it and it makes me fuckin' sick
And if I ever run into you, best expect a fuckin' brick
Six feet under isn't nowhere near
I'ma tie this noose and hang you from your own chandelier
Watch you squirmin' like a bitch and slit your throat to your ear
Spittin' on you like the sidewalk as you tremble in fear
Fuck you for all these hands that I'm dealt
I remember being sixteen, made a noose out a belt
Tried to hang up in my closet like the shirts, but I fell
But one time ain't even nothin' 'cause there's eighteen as well
[Outro]
You birthed a monster underneath all my bones
Can somebody check his pulse? I think this sorcerer's stoned
Marijuana and the whiskey when I'm feelin' alone
I'm sittin' here, but I don't feel like I'm home
No, no, no
