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The Barrister and the Bargast Lyrics by Haze (ENG)

The Last Battle

0

Across Paradise Square in his suit & bow tie
The Barrister strode with a gleam in his eye
His morals were low, but his fees were sky high
For he knew how to cheat & he knew how to lie
He worked late in the evening so he could charge more
For his time and his knowledge of old English law
The shadows lay deep as he walked from his door
Through the old cobbled square from a time long before
The Bargast awoke in the depths of his lair
Hidden from mortal eyes under the square
A huge ghostly dog with red eyes and black hair
He lifted his nose and he scented the air
What manner of man can give off such a smell?
The stench of corruption and Old Spice as well
It was worse than the stench in the bowels of Hell
A smell which the Bargast knew only too well
The Bargast came forth and the man stopped dead
He looked as the size of the beast and he said
"You better be licensed or woe betide you
I'll have you put down and your master I'll sue"
The Bargast looked back with his red eyes aglow
He said "My master is no one you'd know
I round up the guilty and I take them below
Now it's your turn to feel my teeth in your soul"
The Barrister turned and he fled with some vigour
But expense account luncheons had fattened his figure
So the Bargast soon had the man pinned to the deck
And he opened his jaws to rip out his neck
The Barrister pleased and begged for his life
He spoke of his children and his greaving wife
The Bargast just stared the man deep in the eyes
And said "This World has heard enough of your lies"
"your children despise you they'll be glad when you go
Your wife left you three and a half years ago
You have all the appeal of a three week dead Cod
And you mistress loves only the size of your wad
"There's none that will mourn you I bid you farewell
You soul is now forfeit, your place is in Hell
For justice and mercy you care not one Groat"
And the noble beast ripped out the Barrister's throat
So hear me you Lawyers and learn from my tale
With your nose in the swill and your thumb on the scales
Beware of the Bargast and his sniffling snout
Or be sure that you sins will rip your throat out!
Credits
Haze (ENG)

Haze (ENG)

About “The Barrister and the Bargast” by Haze (ENG)

Read the complete lyrics to "The Barrister and the Bargast" by Haze (ENG) from the album "The Last Battle". On Lyrks you can follow along with the full text, explore the artist's discography, and discover related songs. The track is often categorized under Pop.

"The Barrister and the Bargast" is performed by Haze (ENG). from the album "The Last Battle" This page provides the full lyric text for fans who want to sing along, study the songwriting, or compare versions across releases. Lyrks organizes lyrics by artist and song slug so you can bookmark and share a stable URL. Music lyrics help listeners connect with emotion, narrative, and rhythm in a track. Whether you are learning English, researching a favorite chorus, or preparing for karaoke, having accurate line breaks and section labels (verse, chorus, bridge) makes the experience easier. We link to the official artist profile on Lyrks where available, including biography snippets, top songs, and chart placements when we have that data. If you enjoy "The Barrister and the Bargast", explore more songs by Haze (ENG) using the links below. Chart and trending pages on Lyrks highlight what listeners are searching for this week. For copyright or correction requests, see our DMCA and contact pages.

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Frequently asked questions

"The Barrister and the Bargast" is credited to Haze (ENG). Songwriting credits may include additional writers listed on the release; check the credits section on this page for linked collaborators.

"The Barrister and the Bargast" appears on "The Last Battle".

Visit the Haze (ENG) artist page at /artist/haze-eng for biography, popular tracks, and links to more lyric pages.