Lyrks
Lyrks
Lyrks
Cover Art

Master of the House Lyrics by Sacha Baron Cohen, Helena Bonham Carter

Les Misérables (Highlights from the Motion Picture Soundtrack)

2012

[THENARDIER]
My band of soaks, my den of dissolutes
My dirty jokes, my always pissed as newts
My sons of whores (no, no, no, no not tonight) spend their lives in my inn
Homing pigeons homing in
They fly through my doors
And they crawl out on all fours
Welcome, Monsieur, sit yourself down
And meet the best innkeeper in town
As for the rest, all of 'em crooks:
Rooking their guests and cooking the books
Seldom do you see
Honest men like me
A gent of good intent
Who's content to be
Master of the house, doling out the charm
Ready with a handshake and an open palm
Tells a saucy tale, makes a little stir
Customers appreciate a bon-viveur
Glad to do a friend a favor
Doesn't cost me to be nice
But nothing gets you nothing
Everything has got a little price!
Master of the house, keeper of the zoo
Ready to relieve 'em of a sou or two
Watering the wine, making up the weight
Pickin' up their knick-knacks when they can't see straight
Everybody loves a landlord
Everybody's bosom friend
I do whatever pleases
Jesus! Won't I bleed 'em in the end!
Master of the house, quick to catch yer eye
Never was a passerby to pass him by
Servant to the poor, butler to the great
Comforter, philosopher, and lifelong mate!
Everybody's boon companion
Everybody's chaperone
But lock up your valises
Jesus! Won't I skin you to the bone!
Food beyond compare. Food beyond belief
Mix it in a mincer and pretend it's beef
Kidney of a horse, liver of a cat
Filling up the sausages with this and that
Residents are more than welcome
Bridal suite is occupied
Reasonable charges
Plus some little extras on the side!
(Oh Santa!)
Charge 'em for the lice, extra for the mice
Two percent for looking in the mirror twice (Hand it over!)
Here a little slice, there a little cut
Three percent for sleeping with the window shut
When it comes to fixing prices
There are a lot of tricks I knows
How it all increases, all them bits and pieces
Jesus! It's amazing how it grows!
[MADAME THENARDIER, spoken]
Oh, sorry love
Must get something done about that
(sung)
I used to dream that I would meet a prince
But God Almighty, have you seen what's happened since?
Master of the house? Isn't worth my spit!
Comforter, philosopher and lifelong shit!
Cunning little brain, regular Voltaire
Thinks he's quite a lover but there's not much there
What a cruel trick of nature landed me with such a louse
God knows how I've lasted living with this bastard in the house!
[ALL]
Master of the house!
[MADAME THENARDIER]
Master and a half!
[ALL]
Comforter, philosopher
[MADAME THENARDIER, spoken]
Don't make me laugh!
[ALL]
Servant to the poor, butler to the great
[MADAME THENARDIER]
Hypocrite and toady and inebriate!
[ALL]
Everybody bless the landlord!
Everybody bless his spouse!
Everybody raise a glass
[MADAME THENARDIER, spoken]
Raise it up the master's arse
[ALL]
Everybody raise a glass to the Master of the House!
Credits
Sacha Baron Cohen

Sacha Baron Cohen

Helena Bonham Carter

Helena Bonham Carter

About “Master of the House” by Sacha Baron Cohen

Read the complete lyrics to "Master of the House" by Sacha Baron Cohen, Helena Bonham Carter from the album "Les Misérables (Highlights from the Motion Picture Soundtrack)" in 2012. On Lyrks you can follow along with the full text, explore the artist's discography, and discover related songs. The track is often categorized under Musicals, Soundtrack, Screen.

"Master of the House" is performed by Sacha Baron Cohen, Helena Bonham Carter. from the album "Les Misérables (Highlights from the Motion Picture Soundtrack)" in 2012 This page provides the full lyric text for fans who want to sing along, study the songwriting, or compare versions across releases. Lyrks organizes lyrics by artist and song slug so you can bookmark and share a stable URL. Music lyrics help listeners connect with emotion, narrative, and rhythm in a track. Whether you are learning English, researching a favorite chorus, or preparing for karaoke, having accurate line breaks and section labels (verse, chorus, bridge) makes the experience easier. We link to the official artist profile on Lyrks where available, including biography snippets, top songs, and chart placements when we have that data. If you enjoy "Master of the House", explore more songs by Sacha Baron Cohen, Helena Bonham Carter using the links below. Chart and trending pages on Lyrks highlight what listeners are searching for this week. For copyright or correction requests, see our DMCA and contact pages.

View all songs and biography for Sacha Baron Cohen · Trending lyrics · Billboard Hot 100

Frequently asked questions

"Master of the House" is credited to Sacha Baron Cohen, Helena Bonham Carter. Songwriting credits may include additional writers listed on the release; check the credits section on this page for linked collaborators.

"Master of the House" appears on "Les Misérables (Highlights from the Motion Picture Soundtrack)" in 2012.

Visit the Sacha Baron Cohen, Helena Bonham Carter artist page at /artist/sacha-baron-cohen for biography, popular tracks, and links to more lyric pages.