[Intro Skit]
[Joe] What's goin' on Hot Karl, it's your A&R, Joe Weinberger
[Karl] Hey, what's goin' on
[Joe] Hey... CD's great, but there's something missing
[Karl] What's that?
[Joe] The Latin craze. C'mon, y'know, Santana...? Jennifer Lopez...?
[Karl] But I'm not even Spanish, I don't know the language
[Joe] Psh, artists. You know what? It doesn't matter. We're gonna give you the beat right here, you're just gonna kill it. Okay?
[Karl] But... I don't even know Spanish! What am I doing with this? I... oh my. I'm gonna try this
[Verse 1]
OK, I know Latin music is hot and the label wants a hit
But there's a problem: I don't know much Spanish
So señorita, hit the speakers if you're feeling me
I wanna come more Latin than a Ricky Martin homo tendency
So I'm gonna keep on rapping in Latin to go platinum
So my record gets paid and played at Puerto Rican parades
But now I advance, and hope to bring it tight, man
While you're annoying like Rosie Perez was your hype man
I know I can, Hot Karl is the real Papi Chulo
Come any closer, I'll stick my finger up your culo
Yeah, I said it, you sound like bitches on the mic
Your next concert should be VH1 Divas Live
It's the gringo who brings it so, muy grazioso
El naco grifo, I'm anything but bilingual
My singles for the barrios, vatos in drunken stupors
Like Mexican storm troopers, yelling "Drop my chalupas"
[Hook]
Caliente Karlito (¡Ak-ak-ak-a!)
No comprendo español (¡Viva gordita!)
Gringo acting Latino (¡Rico suave!)
What a pendejo (What an asshole!)
Ola, ola, ola (¡O, la vida loca!)
Ola, ola, o (This is for La Raza!)
Caliente Karlito (Pump up la radio)
Gringo pendejo (What? What?)
[Joe] You're gettin' there, c'mon, get more pumped up...
[Karl] I'm trying really hard...
[Joe] I know, can you say "T.R.L."? "Desperado" "Antonio Banderas"? C'mon baby, get with it
[Karl] Alright, I'm gonna try one more time, 'k? Listen
[Verse 2]
Yo, doesn't it bother you hearing me molest this language?
Right now I bet you're wishing Fat Joe was the one who sang this
But it's Karl, I'm just gonna help your career end
Cause I know you ain't getting action like Jessica Simpson's boyfriend
I'm just trying to find an ID like white kids on Alvarado Street (where is it?)
So let me be, roca adoté toda la noche
(Karl, you just said you'll be rocking me all night long!)
Fuck! I thought I said "I'm trying to learn Spanish to rap this song"
No matter the language, don't attack the champion
You beating me rapping, that's like Jim Abbott clapping
I'm trying so hard to speak Spanish up in my flows
Sounding ridiculous like Outkast's wardrobe in music videos
I'm busting Latin flavor and for a whiteboy, that's tricky
So eat your heart out: Enrique, Marc, Ricky
So silencio, and be quiet like you supposed ta
You talk 'bout being dope but y mañana otra cosa
[Hook]
Caliente Karlito (Play this on Cinco de Mayo!)
No comprendo español (Edward James Olmos!)
Gringo acting Latino (This is for Kid Frost)
What a pendejo (What an asshole!)
Ola, ola, ola ("La Bamba", Richie Valens!)
Ola, ola, o (¡Mi mamacita!)
Caliente Karlito (¡Ak-ak-ak-ai!)
Gringo pendejo (¡No comprende!)
[Joe] Alright, it's definitely not working, this Spanish thing isn't for you
[Karl] I've been trying...
[Joe] Alright. Last verse in English, alright?
[Karl] I get to kick this in English?
[Joe] Kill it! Do your thing
[Karl] Perfect! Listen to this, I'm going to rip it right here... check this
[Verse 3]
Even my mic check is doper than your whole compact disc
And my message is positive like Whitney Houston urine tests
For real though, a rapper who looks like Elvis Costello
I always reach the top and you come up short like Willow
You? Better than me? C'mon! What are you joking?
Everything that you record sounds like Say What? Karaoke
You can't smoke me, you have no clue what I'm about
You ain't doing shit like A.C. Green in a whorehouse
You have lyrics? Sure, and DJ Quik ain't dissing Dre
Serious, I get busy like Kelly Price at a buffet
My mission is to kick you straight out of the rap game
Have you doing posse cuts with College Boyz and MC Brains
But some still show hesitance, my styles against they preferences
Too random of references, loaded in every sentences
Thicker than Daisy Fuentes-es, baby I'm outta sight
So with all of my might, I choke players like Bobby Knight
So señorita, I want that hook lasting for days
It's Hot Karl's cheap attempt to cash in on the Latin craze!
[Hook]
Caliente Karlito (Elián González!)
No comprendo español (Margaritas and Coronas!)
Gringo acting Latino (This is for Federales!)
What a pendejo (What an asshole!)
Ola, ola, ola (For spring breakers in Cancún)
Ola, ola, o (Or the Donkey Show in TJ!)
Caliente Karlito (And Lighter Shade Of Brown!)
Gringo pendejo (What? What?)
Caliente Karlito (For my high school Spanish teachers!)
No comprendo español (And Mellow Man Ace!)
Gringo acting Latino (Cheech Marin and Paul Rodriguez!)
What a pendejo (...ya!)
Ola, ola, ola (Por favor, mucho agua)
Ola, ola, o (Mi amore big chi chis)
Caliente Karlito (Who am I kidding?)
Gringo pendejo
[Joe] That's the hit right there...
