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A Secretary Is Not a Toy Lyrics by Paul Reed, How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying Ensemble

How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying (Original Broadway Cast Recording)

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[BRATT, spoken]
Gentlemen! Gentlemen!
[BRATT]
A secretary is not a toy
No, my boy, not a toy
To fondle and dandle
And playfully handle
In search of some puerile joy
No, a secretary is not
Definitely not a toy
[JENKINS, spoken]
You're absolutely right, Mr. Bratt
[BUD, spoken]
We wouldn't have it any other way, Mr. Bratt
[JENKINS, spoken]
It's a company rule, Mr. Bratt
[MEN]
A secretary is not a toy
No, my boy, not a toy
So do not go jumping for joy
Boy
A secretary is not
A secretary is not
A secretary is not
[MEN & WOMEN]
A toy
[WOMEN]
A secretary is not to be
Used for play therapy
[ENSEMBLE]
Be good to the girl you employ, boy
Remember, no matter what
Neurotic trouble you got
A secretary is not a toy
She's a highly specialized key component
Of operational unity
A fine and sensitive mechanism
To serve the office community
With a mother at home she supports
[BUD]
And you'll find nothing like her at F.A.O. Schwarz!
[MISS KRUMHOLTZ]
A secretary is not a pet
Nor an Erector Set
[MISS KRUMHOLTZ & TWO MEN]
It happened to Charlie McCoy, boy
They fired him like a shot
The day the fellow forgot
A secretary is not a toy
[MEN]
A secretary is not a toy
And when you put her to use
Observe, when you put her to use
[BUD]
That you don't find the name "Lionel" on her caboose
[THREE WOMEN]
A secretary is not a thing
Wound by key, pulled by string
[WOMAN]
Her pad is to write in
And not spend the night in
If that's what you plan to enjoy
[THREE WOMEN]
No!
[ENSEMBLE]
The secretary you got
Is definitely not
Employed to do a gavotte
Or you know what
Before you jump for joy
Remember this, my boy
A secretary is not
A Tinker Toy!
Credits
Paul Reed

Paul Reed

How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying Ensemble

How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying Ensemble

About “A Secretary Is Not a Toy” by Paul Reed

Read the complete lyrics to "A Secretary Is Not a Toy" by Paul Reed, How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying Ensemble from the album "How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying (Original Broadway Cast Recording)". On Lyrks you can follow along with the full text, explore the artist's discography, and discover related songs. The track is often categorized under Broadway, Musicals, Pop.

"A Secretary Is Not a Toy" is performed by Paul Reed, How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying Ensemble. from the album "How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying (Original Broadway Cast Recording)" This page provides the full lyric text for fans who want to sing along, study the songwriting, or compare versions across releases. Lyrks organizes lyrics by artist and song slug so you can bookmark and share a stable URL. Music lyrics help listeners connect with emotion, narrative, and rhythm in a track. Whether you are learning English, researching a favorite chorus, or preparing for karaoke, having accurate line breaks and section labels (verse, chorus, bridge) makes the experience easier. We link to the official artist profile on Lyrks where available, including biography snippets, top songs, and chart placements when we have that data. If you enjoy "A Secretary Is Not a Toy", explore more songs by Paul Reed, How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying Ensemble using the links below. Chart and trending pages on Lyrks highlight what listeners are searching for this week. For copyright or correction requests, see our DMCA and contact pages.

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Frequently asked questions

"A Secretary Is Not a Toy" is credited to Paul Reed, How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying Ensemble. Songwriting credits may include additional writers listed on the release; check the credits section on this page for linked collaborators.

"A Secretary Is Not a Toy" appears on "How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying (Original Broadway Cast Recording)".

Visit the Paul Reed, How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying Ensemble artist page at /artist/paul-reed for biography, popular tracks, and links to more lyric pages.