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Santa Claus is Coming With Guns Lyrics by J Pee

2015

J Pee baby
Hello little Timmy
I have your Christmas List
Here in my sack is your every wish
You want a new dirt-bike & a jet-ski
Love & safety for your family
Timmy, you're so thoughtful
OMG
That's why you need a--
[Chorus 1]
GUN!
Cuz you need to protect your family Timmy
People are out to kill you-
GUN!
If you love them like you say you do
This is the gift for you-
GUN!
The only way to stop bad guys with guns
Is good guys with-
GUNS!
And you're a good guy, Timmy
So you need one!
Hello little Sarah
You seem like a sweet girl
Thank you for the cookies
Your baking is
NUTS!
I see on your list
You like education
Brand new backpack and a calculator
I think school is great, don't get me wrong
But Sarah
Books will not protect you from a--
[Chorus 2]
GUN!
Cuz your classmates are fucking crazy
And all of them have guns
That's why I bought you an AK for your safety
So you'll never have to run-
GUN!
Your great, great, great grandfather died so you could have one-
GUN!
If you don't like freedom you can get on a boat back to ENGLAND!
Hello little Jamie
What a lovely first name
Are you a boy or a girl?
How androgynous!
It says that you want tickets to the cinema
I wouldn't recommend that without a--
[Chorus 3]
SNIPER!
Cuz these lunatics hate movies
Cuz they never had a date night-
SNIPER!
Sit in the very back row please
Watch the movie through the scope!
Hello little Teddy
You have a house to defend
I give you man's best friend-
RIFLE!
RIFLE!
RIFLE!
RIIIIFFLLEEE
(high note)
Mommy, you get an uzi
Daddy, you get a Glock
Grandma, it's a cold war outside
You better bundle up--
(J Pee and family accidentally shoot Santa)
Credits
J Pee

J Pee

About “Santa Claus is Coming With Guns” by J Pee

Read the complete lyrics to "Santa Claus is Coming With Guns" by J Pee in 2015. On Lyrks you can follow along with the full text, explore the artist's discography, and discover related songs. The track is often categorized under Pop.

"Santa Claus is Coming With Guns" is performed by J Pee. in 2015 This page provides the full lyric text for fans who want to sing along, study the songwriting, or compare versions across releases. Lyrks organizes lyrics by artist and song slug so you can bookmark and share a stable URL. Music lyrics help listeners connect with emotion, narrative, and rhythm in a track. Whether you are learning English, researching a favorite chorus, or preparing for karaoke, having accurate line breaks and section labels (verse, chorus, bridge) makes the experience easier. We link to the official artist profile on Lyrks where available, including biography snippets, top songs, and chart placements when we have that data. If you enjoy "Santa Claus is Coming With Guns", explore more songs by J Pee using the links below. Chart and trending pages on Lyrks highlight what listeners are searching for this week. For copyright or correction requests, see our DMCA and contact pages.

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Frequently asked questions

"Santa Claus is Coming With Guns" is credited to J Pee. Songwriting credits may include additional writers listed on the release; check the credits section on this page for linked collaborators.

Album information for "Santa Claus is Coming With Guns" is not available in our database yet. You can still read the full lyrics on this page.

Visit the J Pee artist page at /artist/j-pee for biography, popular tracks, and links to more lyric pages.