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SCARY STORIES with KERMIT Lyrics by ​jacksfilms

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Kermit is seen sitting on a stool, holding a book. There are four kids sitting on the ground around him. They're all located in a classroom decorated for Halloween.

KERMIT: Hey! Uh, happy, uh, happy, uh, Halloween! Who's ready for some spooky Halloween stories, huh?

KIDS: We are, we are, we are!

KERMIT: Alrighty! This first one's called "You're Gonna Die Tonight". Ahem. Tonight, a girl with no eyes and no nose will come out of your closet and, uh, you'll die. The end. Yay!

KERMIT: Okay, show of hands: who's going trick or treating tonight?

KIDS: I am!

KERMIT: Looks like a lot of you. Well, this next story is called "Razors In Your Candy" and it's a poem!

KERMIT: There are no razors in your candy, apples, sweets, or granolas. But there is a pretty giant chance they've all been laced with Ebola.

KERMIT: I guess I should tell you that this book is completely blank, I-I'm just making this up as I go. Turns the page. Ah, I love this one.

KERMIT: This next story is called "There Is No Santa Claus"—

JASON: You're the worst, Kermit!

KERMIT: No, you're the worst, Billy!

JASON: That's not even my name!

KERMIT: Everyone, just relax, alright? It's Halloween. I clocked out, like, three martinis ago, okay, I'm barely conscious.

KERMIT: How about I tell you a story called "Spooky Scary Skeletons"? Shut up, shut-shut up.

KERMIT: We will all become spooky scary skeletons in the end. It is inevitable. And all we do beforehand matters not.

KERMIT: Well, this party died! How about a little, uh, Halloween song to, uh, get you all in the mood? Yeah, you all know this one.

KERMIT: Ghosts aren't real, but my lust for blood is!

KERMIT: I hope you all have a fun, safe, Halloween tonight. Except you, Billy. Except you.
Credits
​jacksfilms

​jacksfilms

About “SCARY STORIES with KERMIT” by ​jacksfilms

Read the complete lyrics to "SCARY STORIES with KERMIT" by ​jacksfilms. On Lyrks you can follow along with the full text, explore the artist's discography, and discover related songs. The track is often categorized under Non-Music, Screen.

"SCARY STORIES with KERMIT" is performed by ​jacksfilms. This page provides the full lyric text for fans who want to sing along, study the songwriting, or compare versions across releases. Lyrks organizes lyrics by artist and song slug so you can bookmark and share a stable URL. Music lyrics help listeners connect with emotion, narrative, and rhythm in a track. Whether you are learning English, researching a favorite chorus, or preparing for karaoke, having accurate line breaks and section labels (verse, chorus, bridge) makes the experience easier. We link to the official artist profile on Lyrks where available, including biography snippets, top songs, and chart placements when we have that data. If you enjoy "SCARY STORIES with KERMIT", explore more songs by ​jacksfilms using the links below. Chart and trending pages on Lyrks highlight what listeners are searching for this week. For copyright or correction requests, see our DMCA and contact pages.

View all songs and biography for ​jacksfilms · Trending lyrics · Billboard Hot 100

Frequently asked questions

"SCARY STORIES with KERMIT" is credited to ​jacksfilms. Songwriting credits may include additional writers listed on the release; check the credits section on this page for linked collaborators.

Album information for "SCARY STORIES with KERMIT" is not available in our database yet. You can still read the full lyrics on this page.

Visit the ​jacksfilms artist page at /artist/jacksfilms for biography, popular tracks, and links to more lyric pages.

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